half-baked pastry puns

Coming up with pastry puns is easy as pie. Seriously, it's a cakewalk. Carrots and nuts can loaf around but figs are barred. I'm on a roll here, but I gotta stop, turnover a new leaf. One cannoli hope. Scone be pretty hard, dough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SumGai984
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2015
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My wife yelled at me after I ate all of our English pastries

Hell hath no fury like a woman sconed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PygmeePony
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
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I've heard the german army only liked one type of pastry.

The luft-waffle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YKantSpiel66
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
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Why was the pastry chef nervous about making 100 cakes in a day?

It was a high whisk situation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weathermancam12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
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What do you call a pastry that announces its own position on a subject?

A Chocolate Declaire

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firthmaxion
πŸ“…︎ May 17
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Which ninja turtle likes pastries?

Donutello

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πŸ‘€︎ u/steelkamote
πŸ“…︎ May 16
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What pastry wanted to rule the world?

Attila the Bun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScratPacc
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
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When making pastries, you wouldn't want to overdough the kneading
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coffinedude
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
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I don't get what's the big deal in making a pastry?

It's a piece of cake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadNigga
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
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I once had crush on a pastry chef

Turns out she didn’t have any fillings for me

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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[At an Indian restaurant] Dad: β€œThese triangular pastries with spicy filling are excellent!”

Waiter: Samosa?

Dad: No thanks. I’m already full.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
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β€ͺAn evil French chef mixes Kryptonite in their treats and flings them at Superman. Batman arrives on the scene but does nothing, allowing Jimmy Olsen to catch the pastries in a net, at which point Superman saves the day. It’s like they say:

Not all heroes snare crepes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atruthtellingliar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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What do you call a fish that only eats pastry?

A pie-ranha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MakeMeADonut
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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What breakfast pastry willfully causes more pain and suffering than a donut?

A crueller

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yahtzee44444
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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What do you say to the waiter who takes forever to bring your fancy pastry?

β€œHey!! Torte us!!!!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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What do you call a slice of cheese flavored pastry?

A pizza cake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DForce5289
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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What's the fastest pastry?

S'cone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dravalo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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What did the loan shark tell the pastry chef as he was choking?

Cough up the dough

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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What did the German pieces of cookie dough say to the pastry chef?

Viscous

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
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I don't think a vegetarian pastry chef would survive,

they couldn't go more than a day or so without bacon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shitty_Orangutan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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My pastry making business failed terribly.

We never managed to have a good turnover.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
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How do you call a pastry chef who came up with a new recipe for a cake?

A pieoneer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blaaaablaaaa
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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I asked my Italian friend if I could have a few of his Star Wars themed pastries

but he said I can have only one cannoli

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ltdansicecream1
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
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How does a pastry chef tell a dog to leave the kitchen?

CHOUX!

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
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You wouldn't think you'd want a pastry frosting made out of magical trees..

But it's actually enticing!

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
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They're passing a law that bans all pastry chefs from voting

Apparently bakers can't be choosers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weggo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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Did you know that dogs are pastry enthusiasts?

They really love a good choux

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doortem
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
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You could say I eat my pastries in...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/razzlesnazzlepasz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2016
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What kind of pastries can you buy from a Tryan-thesaurus-rex?

Synonym Rolls

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MC_Queen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
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If you have a pastry snack at 10 PM...

...does that mean you are having unelevened bread?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2018
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The pastry that comes with a thesaurus
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πŸ‘€︎ u/journeyman369
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2015
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What do the police do with a criminal pastry chef?

Bake them into custardy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oreofizzle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2018
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What do call a small French pastry with a firecracker in it?

A Napoleon, blown apart.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Klyphord
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
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Did you hear about the man who robbed the pastry kitchen?

I heard he was a real whisk-taker

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pangioty
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
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What did the English teacher with a lisp say their favourite pastry was?

Synonym rolls

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πŸ‘€︎ u/panzerjess
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
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I'm being haunted by the ghost of a French pastry chef.

He's really giving me the crepes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandehmand
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2017
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Who is the pastry chef's favorite actress?

Jennifer Cannoli

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zeeeman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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Did you know there's a pastry that can't be made or sold at night?

A day-nish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
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Why did the man love pastries?

Because eating them was a piece of cake!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thegod999
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2017
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I got a pastry for Denmark

It was a Danish danish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/enchilada1214
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2018
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My friend told me his GF got a job as a pastry chef.

I said it sounded like a sweet gig.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clit_or_us
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2017
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At the coffee shop they sell day old pastries at a discount

My dad asked if he could get an additional discount since they are now year old pastries.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Craiginator8
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
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Local pastry chef brings nightly donations to food shelter

Not all heroes wear crepes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/omnomnosaurus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2018
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I thought I saw Santa Claus when I pulled my Scandinavian pastry out of the oven;

turns out it was just a crisp kringle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Aerosaurus_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2017
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Why does the pastry smell of weed?

Because it's baked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobbyLee
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2017
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I heard the pastries in Italy were good

But I cannoli imagine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strawbalicious
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2016
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What do you call a pastry made from a potato?

A spud muffin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dukal
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2017
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if you some how turned some pastry into a plant ...

would it then be a filodendron?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cuank
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2017
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Never hurt a pastry by saying no.

They too have fillings inside.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/v_cleaner
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2015
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What you you call a day old pastry?

yesterdanish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/campbell6315
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2016
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If someone were to use a fake toaster pastry in a TV show or movie...

They'd call it a PROP TART!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zanderich
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2014
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I jokingly threw my pastry at my wife...

She was absolutely furious. I've never seen a person get this angry before. I guess it holds true to the old saying:

Hell hath no fury like a woman sconed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeseBadger
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2015
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My kids were arguing about which pastry was the best pastry

Dad: To each his scone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pbmax542
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2016
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Why was the pastry so obsessed with making money?

He was was a dough-nut ;)

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πŸ“…︎ May 25 2016
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pastries we mean to sample at work sometimes get left out in the open.

i always remember when they were little pastseeds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/urbanknight1001
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2016
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At the pastry with my dad...

D (with a big grin) : What do you call a baker who accidentally cut off his ear?

Me: ?

D: Vincent Van Dough

Probably a common joke but I found it hilarious.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zy0x
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2015
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My dad on pastries

What are we having for desert?

Sahara Lee!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jt7724
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2013
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What do you call the last pastry in an Italian bakery in space?

Only Wan Cannoli

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rockmanexe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2013
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