I'm going to start a brew pub that also offers raisins, nuts and oats.

I'll call it the Granola Bar.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/waldo06
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Went out and took pictures of wheat, oats, rice, and corn...

Unfortunately, they all came out pretty grainy. One of them you could barley make out.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frudedude
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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I wanted to be more healthy so tried putting oat milk in my tea.

But it was just too OTT.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Harkonan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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I can't seem to grow oats or barley, or spelt in the mountains where I live. I guess it's true what they say...

No plains no grains

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ahughman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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How do they milk oats?

So my family and I were watching TV and an ad for oat milk came up.

I asked out loud "how do they milk oats?"

My stepsister responded "they crush them until they cry"

I instinctively said "they do that with grapes too but they only wine"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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I tried introducing young people to 80s music especially hall and oats

I didn’t know i was that out of touch

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gnocky12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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A raisin, a peanut, and an oat sit down and order a drink.

The bartender says, β€œwhat do you think this is, a granola bar? β€œ.

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
How do they make oat milk?

They milk a goat and remove all of the G.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/p3t3r133
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend and I were discussing dressing as Hall and Oats for next Halloween

Her: who would be Hall and who would be Oats?

Me: I better be Oats because you're gluten intolerant.

She actually laughed.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/torakwho
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2015
🚨︎ report
From my 5-year-old son: "Hey"

True story; it even happened last night. My 5-year-old son walks up behind me and out of the blue says, "hey."

I turn to him and say, "yeah, kiddo? What's up?"

He responds, "it's dead grass."

I'm really confused and trying to figure out what's wrong and what he wants from me. "What? There's dead grass? What's wrong with that?"

.

.

.

He says, totally straight-faced, "hay is dead grass," and runs off.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
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I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem

I call it my trail mix

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hungytoaster
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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You like Hall n' Oates?

Cool. Feed my horse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaxxonn26
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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Before his music career took off, Daryl Hall worked as a trucker for Quaker.

He was haulin’ oats.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evanthekid16
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a crappy Hall and Oates cover band?

Hollow Notes

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ingrahamlincoln
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
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TIL that Daryl Hall and John Oates started out as long-distance truckers

They were haulin' oats

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/furrthur
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2017
🚨︎ report
What’s a duck’s favorite breakfast food?

Quacker oats

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josentangles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Not specifically a joke but....

Today my wife was making oatmeal cookies, and was getting rolled oats out of the cupboard. I adamantly told her to STOP and she can't use them yet. Grabbing them, I proceeded to walk across the kitchen, and roll them across the floor. "There. NOW you have rolled oats," I say. Only to receive a facepalm and to be told to get out of the kitchen...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/medaele
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Me and a couple of friends are arguing how to get out of the grain silo.

We're all in the same oat.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dodsdans
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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I found a typo on a bag of grains

It was spelt incorrectly.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SmokeRingHalo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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A local man shows up to his local Starbucks for his daily cup of coffee.

β€œGrande macchiato with oat milk, please.”

The cashier started to process his order, until the man asked β€œWhy are you wearing a surgical mask?”

β€œI’m not”, said the barista, β€œit’s a coughy filter”.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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What do you call a semi driver rocking out to 80s music while carrying a load of grain?

Haulin’ Oats... πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ I’ll show myself to the door. -dad

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
One of my favorite bands from the 80’s
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Space_tronaut
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
🚨︎ report
I asked my wife what to feed to the horses this afternoon.

She told me, β€œHoney, lunches of oats.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/richrashjr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Got my 3 year old, but she didn't get it

We were playing "restaurant", and this was a special restaurant that only only animals went to.

In the middle of playing a family of goats came to the restaurant and they were ordering their food.

"Daddy, what's the baby goat going to eat?"

"The kid's meal"

I cracked myself up

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dzmagoon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2015
🚨︎ report
A horse walks into a bar and grill...

The bartender says, "hey."

The horse says, "neigh. But I'll take some Quick Oats for the road."

The asphalt in the corner says, "thanks."

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who likes anime and eats one type of cereal?

An oataku.

πŸ‘︎ 413
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2017
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A bunch of grains got together to protest.

It was a real rye-ot.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thelionmermaid
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I offered to make my girlfriend some oatmeal.

When she declined, I told her she was missing oat.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KeepingItKosher
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
🚨︎ report
What is the Netherland’s favorite band?

Holland oats

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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What do you call someone who really likes to talk about cereals?

A keen oat speaker

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awfullyawful
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the 80's pop duo who are now working in cereal distribution?

They're haulin' oats.

πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alaginge
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call musically-inclined horse feed from the Netherlands?

Holland Oats.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DooDad-DontMother
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
🚨︎ report
What was the grain truckers favorite band?

Haulin' oats.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neutral_cadence
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2017
🚨︎ report
What do Alaskans eat for breakfast?

Quaker Oats

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsMRslash
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Cheerio!

Well, got to go now, adiOATS

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cakepoprock
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What does the music at a horse rave sound like?

Oats oats oats oats...

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ediciusNJ
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2015
🚨︎ report
Do you think Quaker calls their delivery fleet

Haulin' Oats?

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kuzinrob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Why was the farmer in the mood for some 80's soft rock?

He was haulin' oats.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BootymeatJohnson
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2017
🚨︎ report
I asked my wife if she wanted lozenges in her granola

She looked at me kind of grossed out and I told her: everyone loves Halls and Oats

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nerd_of_gods
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2016
🚨︎ report
Why did the farmer quit his job to pursue a music career?

He was tired of Hallin Oates.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mustachereviews
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2016
🚨︎ report
Dad's response when asked why he was carrying around a huge box of cereal

"Well son, I'm haulin' oats!"

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BunniesOfLove
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2013
🚨︎ report
No one under 30 will even get this

Why did the farmer start wearing ear plugs?

He was tired of Hall'n Oats

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chewie83
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2014
🚨︎ report

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