He’ll be cutting your grass
Laying on the grass...”two tired”...to move
My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.
I told them they were being gracist.
Apparently, Neil deGrasse Tyson has a brother, who has a very successful grass-cutting business.
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
I’m like a cow in tall grass,
I’m utterly tickled to be here.
Baby grass snake says to her mum, am I a poisonous snake?
Mum says no baby.
The baby grass snake says, Thank god for that ive just bitten my toungue.
My cat just cut the grass.
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
What do you call a painter who loves running through the grass?
Why was it so easy to see the aircraft on the grass lands?
Why is a field of grass always older than you?
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
Wasn’t in the mood to cut the grass.
I really need to get mowtivated.
My girlfriend played golf with her friend. She lost the engagement ring I bought her in the tall grass by the fairway...
It was a diamond in the rough.
Credit (not quite the same): Frank and Ernest by Thaves for May 02, 2020
I recently encountered a grass snake.
He told me lots of bad things about grass.
It is purple/red and makes a nibbling sound when you squat in the grass
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don’t make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
Dad has a pet snake that eats the grass in his yard.
Why do cows eat grass?
I mean, someone has to moo the lawn.
When I bought my first house, I planted emo grass.
Roses are red. Violets are read. The grass is red.
About to go mow the grass after getting stung by a bee
Told my wife, "I hope I don't have any flash backs to Bee-ietnam"
My stuff is out on the street
What do you call it when you get high in a patch of tall grass?
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
What do you call police obsessed with keeping good grass?
Shouldnt foie grass be called quackamole?
I removed some grass from my front yard in the shape of my favorite movie/video game weapon.
But my HOA informed me that they don't allow sod-off shotguns.
Why do cows like to eat grass?
Cud it’s their favorite food.
I'd cut the grass but it's against the lawn.
ha ha ha ha ha ha get it?!?!?
I just got my cow to cut all the tall grass in my field.
What a great lawn moo-er!
What do you call a cow eating grass?
I would like to cut the grass
But it’s against the lawn
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That’s on a need to mow basis.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
What fatal mistake did the blade of grass make after being fertilized?
It shouted, “I want mower!”
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
My grass looks so good its chicken proof!
I can't decide if I should cut the grass or update the bathroom
I guess I'll just start with Moen
I was allowed on the grass the other day at school
I was allowed on the grass the other day at school- it field me with joy
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
Well, I guess we’ll just have to make dew!
I’d like to cut the grass
But it’s against the lawn
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