Shoe puns
What kind of shoes does a Ninja wear?
-Sneakers
What shoes does a skater wear?
-slippers
What shoes does a Lumberjack wear?
-Timberlands
What shoes does a doctor wear?
-Shollβs
What shoes does a priest wear?
-donβt know but Iβm sure itβs got a Sole
Iβll see myself out
Two shoe puns for the price of one.
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︎ Jul 01 2014
My 7 year old proudly said dad I double knotted my shoe.
I said, "You did not."
She glares at me, "Yes I did."
Me, "You did knot."
She grudgingly accepts reality and stomps away, head shaking.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.....
Never trust a shoe salesman who doubles as a drug dealer
As a sole provider they'll likely get you something that's laced.
My son told me he had a hole in his shoe today
I said yes son, that's where you put your foot in
Dad stop a minute somethings in my shoe
Shoe Repair
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︎ Dec 24 2019
Why did the robot go to the shoe shop?
The buried shoe.
Today I buried my shoe.
May it's sole Rest In Peace.
Our local shoe factory burned down last night!
Thankfully there were no soles lost.
SHERLOCK: Is that mud on your shoe?
WATSON: No, shit Sherlock.
I just delivered my home shoe polishing service to the most beautiful lady I have ever seen!
Right away, I took a shine to her!
My son asked me what is a shoe
I said its sole purpose is to protect the feet
What did they say about the couple who had the same shoe size?
I won biggest shoe competition
I am a shoe repairer...
Does that class me as a sole trader?
In addition to fixing customers shoes, the local cobbler moonlighted as a shoe salesman...
He often found old used shoes in thrift stores and re-soled them.
How do you make your shoe quit?
Why did the shoe store call a plumber?
Because they had a clog in their drain!
Iβm writing a book about a guy who sells shoe parts to satan. Itβs your basic βSold my sole to the devilβ novel.
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︎ Dec 11 2019
Puns in shoe repair ad
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︎ Nov 24 2019
How do you make your shoe more quite?
The girlfriend and I just drove by a shoe in the road
GF: A shoe!
Me: Bless you
Was pretty proud of myself for a couple minutes.
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︎ Oct 29 2019
There was a huge fire at the shoe factory.
Thank God no soles were lost
My buddy told me his wife can't cook a shoe.
I said bless you. Why can't she cook?
If the shoe were on the other foot...
that foot would feel really uncomfortable.
What did the right shoe say to the left shoe?
Today I insisted that my son had a hole in his shoe. He didn't believe me and kept looking and looking, took it off and inspect it. He yelled "There is no hole in there at all!"
So I yelled back "Then how did your foot get in there!"
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︎ Jun 24 2018
Son gave me A single Vans shoe.
I prefer shoe-laces because Velcro is a rip-off.
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︎ Sep 06 2019
Horse shoe
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︎ Oct 25 2019
i used to work in a shoe factory
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︎ Dec 04 2019
A duck walks into a bar wearing a shoe.
The bartender asks, "Hey duck, why are you wearing a shoe?"
The duck replies, "I lost the other one."
My dad told me this joke and I was so disappointed I had to share.
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︎ Oct 11 2019
A shoe store in my town burnt down
Luckily, no soles were lost.
From Plauge inc.
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︎ Dec 16 2019
Why are all shoe makers going to heaven?
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︎ Nov 28 2019
You heard about the British pig that ties shoe laces very well?
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︎ Nov 29 2019
My 12 inch ruler fell in my shoe
I guess I'll always have a foot in my shoe
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︎ Sep 21 2019
If you put your left shoe on the wrong foot
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︎ Nov 09 2019
Can a shoe box?
No, but a tin can.
That's a rubbish joke.
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︎ Nov 09 2019
My shoe has a hole in it
It's how I get my foot inside
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︎ Nov 02 2019
If I had a shoe for every ginger I knew ...
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︎ Jul 31 2019
My friend lost the the bottom of his shoe
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︎ Nov 08 2019
What did the dyslexic shoe based superheroes say when they assembled?
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︎ Jul 20 2019
My wife said she felt something in her shoe.
I said it was probably her foot.
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︎ Nov 08 2019
I witnessed a shoe divorce earlier this year.
Neither party got sole custody of the kids.
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︎ Apr 27 2019
Child: βDad, wait - Iβve got something in my shoe.β
Dad: βIs it a foot?β
Child: βI knew you were gonna say that, dad.β
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︎ Oct 09 2019
How did the shoe become so evil?
It sold its sole to the devil
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︎ Jun 25 2019
I used to work at a shoe recycling shop but I had to quit.
It was destroying my sole.
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︎ Jul 13 2019
I bought a shoe from a drug dealer
He laced it with something
I kept tripping all day long
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︎ Oct 12 2019
I took a video of my shoe the other day
It was some pretty good FOOTage
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︎ Jul 14 2019
I recently got fired from a shoe store
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︎ Aug 04 2019
I met a guy who sold shoe parts; I asked if he had a big team.
"No" he replied, "I'm a sole trader".
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︎ Oct 06 2019
Im in your shoe
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︎ Apr 24 2019
I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop.
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︎ Sep 11 2019
Did you hear about the explosion at the Shoe Factory?
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︎ Mar 31 2019
Most important question to ask when shoe shopping
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︎ Apr 01 2019
I took a video of my shoe yesterday.
It was some pretty good footage!
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︎ Aug 31 2019
My dad hands me this nasty shoe sole and says
I found my sole fishing in the mountains I just want you to have it.
OOC. He brought the shoe sole 1500 miles just to tell me this dad joke
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︎ Jul 13 2019
A Nike shoe factory burned down π₯
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︎ Mar 25 2019
Here's my best impression of a shoe.
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︎ Sep 25 2018
My first job was at a shoe recycling centre.
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︎ Aug 12 2019
What do you call an undercover shoe?
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︎ Oct 01 2018
I once had a job in a shoe recycling factory...
... it was sole destroying.
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︎ Aug 11 2019
My friend just lost his job at the shoe factory...
...They gave him the boot
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︎ Mar 27 2019
did you hear about the single left shoe?
He was feeling lonely and joined dating service to find his soulmate
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︎ Aug 09 2019
hold on i have something in my shoe
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︎ Mar 30 2019
Shoe laces
Wife calls me over to the computer.
Wife: Honey, can you take a look at these shoes for our daughter? They are shock cord bur I don't see a tightener. And I dont know if they tie.
Me: Well, maybe they are Vietnamese.
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︎ Aug 05 2019
Iβm at a shoe store, but I canβt decide what shoes I want.
I just keep flip-flopping!
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︎ Jun 23 2019
Never buy a shoe from a drug dealer.
You never know what it might be laced with, u could be tripping the whole day.
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︎ May 26 2019
Paul's an assistant at a butcher shop . He's 6 foot tall and wears a size 9 shoe . What does he weight ?
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︎ Jun 07 2019
German man: *walks into shoe store* German man:
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︎ Feb 21 2019
Gotta protect against all those wool shoe haters out there
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︎ Mar 18 2019
I invented a athletic shoe company called Hikes, but everyone leaves my store before trying them on.
I don't get it, I've just been telling them to take a Hike.
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︎ Dec 18 2018
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.
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︎ Dec 05 2018
Why did Joe work at the shoe store?
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︎ Mar 21 2017
What do you call a shoe made of a banana?
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︎ Dec 18 2019
SHERLOCK: Is that mud on your shoe?
WATSON: No, shit Sherlock.
what do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
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︎ Dec 24 2019
What do you call a shoe made from a banana?
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︎ Dec 28 2019
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.
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︎ Oct 09 2019
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop
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︎ Oct 30 2019
If you put your left shoe on the wrong foot
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︎ Jun 05 2018
If you put your left shoe on the wrong foot
then it is on the right foot
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︎ Apr 25 2019
I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop.
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︎ Jul 30 2019
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
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︎ Mar 19 2019
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.
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︎ Oct 02 2018
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