Shoe puns
What kind of shoes does a Ninja wear?
-Sneakers
What shoes does a skater wear?
-slippers
What shoes does a Lumberjack wear?
-Timberlands
What shoes does a doctor wear?
-Sholl’s
What shoes does a priest wear?
-don’t know but I’m sure it’s got a Sole
I’ll see myself out
Two shoe puns for the price of one.
My 7 year old proudly said dad I double knotted my shoe.
I said, "You did not."
She glares at me, "Yes I did."
Me, "You did knot."
She grudgingly accepts reality and stomps away, head shaking.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.....
Never trust a shoe salesman who doubles as a drug dealer
As a sole provider they'll likely get you something that's laced.
My son told me he had a hole in his shoe today
I said yes son, that's where you put your foot in
Dad stop a minute somethings in my shoe
Why did the robot go to the shoe shop?
The buried shoe.
Today I buried my shoe.
May it's sole Rest In Peace.
Our local shoe factory burned down last night!
Thankfully there were no soles lost.
SHERLOCK: Is that mud on your shoe?
WATSON: No, shit Sherlock.
I just delivered my home shoe polishing service to the most beautiful lady I have ever seen!
Right away, I took a shine to her!
My son asked me what is a shoe
I said its sole purpose is to protect the feet
What did they say about the couple who had the same shoe size?
I won biggest shoe competition
I am a shoe repairer...
Does that class me as a sole trader?
In addition to fixing customers shoes, the local cobbler moonlighted as a shoe salesman...
He often found old used shoes in thrift stores and re-soled them.
How do you make your shoe quit?
Why did the shoe store call a plumber?
Because they had a clog in their drain!
I’m writing a book about a guy who sells shoe parts to satan. It’s your basic “Sold my sole to the devil” novel.
How do you make your shoe more quite?
The girlfriend and I just drove by a shoe in the road
GF: A shoe!
Me: Bless you
Was pretty proud of myself for a couple minutes.
There was a huge fire at the shoe factory.
Thank God no soles were lost
My buddy told me his wife can't cook a shoe.
I said bless you. Why can't she cook?
If the shoe were on the other foot...
that foot would feel really uncomfortable.
What did the right shoe say to the left shoe?
Today I insisted that my son had a hole in his shoe. He didn't believe me and kept looking and looking, took it off and inspect it. He yelled "There is no hole in there at all!"
So I yelled back "Then how did your foot get in there!"
Son gave me A single Vans shoe.
I prefer shoe-laces because Velcro is a rip-off.
i used to work in a shoe factory
A duck walks into a bar wearing a shoe.
The bartender asks, "Hey duck, why are you wearing a shoe?"
The duck replies, "I lost the other one."
My dad told me this joke and I was so disappointed I had to share.
A shoe store in my town burnt down
Luckily, no soles were lost.
From Plauge inc.
Why are all shoe makers going to heaven?
You heard about the British pig that ties shoe laces very well?
My 12 inch ruler fell in my shoe
I guess I'll always have a foot in my shoe
If you put your left shoe on the wrong foot
Can a shoe box?
No, but a tin can.
That's a rubbish joke.
My shoe has a hole in it
It's how I get my foot inside
If I had a shoe for every ginger I knew ...
My friend lost the the bottom of his shoe
What did the dyslexic shoe based superheroes say when they assembled?
My wife said she felt something in her shoe.
I said it was probably her foot.
I witnessed a shoe divorce earlier this year.
Neither party got sole custody of the kids.
Child: “Dad, wait - I’ve got something in my shoe.”
Dad: “Is it a foot?”
Child: “I knew you were gonna say that, dad.”
How did the shoe become so evil?
It sold its sole to the devil
I used to work at a shoe recycling shop but I had to quit.
It was destroying my sole.
I bought a shoe from a drug dealer
He laced it with something
I kept tripping all day long
I took a video of my shoe the other day
It was some pretty good FOOTage
I recently got fired from a shoe store
I met a guy who sold shoe parts; I asked if he had a big team.
"No" he replied, "I'm a sole trader".
I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop.
Did you hear about the explosion at the Shoe Factory?
Most important question to ask when shoe shopping
I took a video of my shoe yesterday.
It was some pretty good footage!
My dad hands me this nasty shoe sole and says
I found my sole fishing in the mountains I just want you to have it.
OOC. He brought the shoe sole 1500 miles just to tell me this dad joke
A Nike shoe factory burned down 🔥
Here's my best impression of a shoe.
My first job was at a shoe recycling centre.
What do you call an undercover shoe?
I once had a job in a shoe recycling factory...
... it was sole destroying.
My friend just lost his job at the shoe factory...
...They gave him the boot
did you hear about the single left shoe?
He was feeling lonely and joined dating service to find his soulmate
hold on i have something in my shoe
Shoe laces
Wife calls me over to the computer.
Wife: Honey, can you take a look at these shoes for our daughter? They are shock cord bur I don't see a tightener. And I dont know if they tie.
Me: Well, maybe they are Vietnamese.
I’m at a shoe store, but I can’t decide what shoes I want.
I just keep flip-flopping!
Never buy a shoe from a drug dealer.
You never know what it might be laced with, u could be tripping the whole day.
Paul's an assistant at a butcher shop . He's 6 foot tall and wears a size 9 shoe . What does he weight ?
German man: *walks into shoe store* German man:
Gotta protect against all those wool shoe haters out there
I invented a athletic shoe company called Hikes, but everyone leaves my store before trying them on.
I don't get it, I've just been telling them to take a Hike.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.
Why did Joe work at the shoe store?
What do you call a shoe made of a banana?
SHERLOCK: Is that mud on your shoe?
WATSON: No, shit Sherlock.
what do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
What do you call a shoe made from a banana?
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop
If you put your left shoe on the wrong foot
If you put your left shoe on the wrong foot
then it is on the right foot
I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.
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