Shoe puns

What kind of shoes does a Ninja wear? -Sneakers

What shoes does a skater wear? -slippers

What shoes does a Lumberjack wear? -Timberlands

What shoes does a doctor wear? -Sholl’s

What shoes does a priest wear? -don’t know but I’m sure it’s got a Sole

I’ll see myself out

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DBelariean
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
Two shoe puns for the price of one.
πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquidWithBatWings
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2014
🚨︎ report
Never trust a shoe salesman who doubles as a drug dealer

As a sole provider they'll likely get you something that's laced.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/C0DEWzard
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
My son told me he had a hole in his shoe today

I said yes son, that's where you put your foot in

πŸ‘︎ 330
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sleepy_Man90
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
The buried shoe.

Today I buried my shoe. May it's sole Rest In Peace.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExcellentCatch8
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
My shoe split at work today

I knew this job would take my sole

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crownroyalt
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
Shoe Repair
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jethlog
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a shoe made of a banana?

A slipper

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/abdic8
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Our local shoe factory burned down last night!

Thankfully there were no soles lost.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Neferashu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
I wore my shoes today with one of them untied. After a while, my son finally asked, "Dad, why is your shoe untied?"

I replied, "On the bottom, they just say Taiwan."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Myusernameisfish
πŸ“…︎ May 04
🚨︎ report
I just delivered my home shoe polishing service to the most beautiful lady I have ever seen!

Right away, I took a shine to her!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
My son asked me what is a shoe

I said its sole purpose is to protect the feet

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sriramempire
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
SHERLOCK: Is that mud on your shoe?

WATSON: No, shit Sherlock.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketshoe21
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
What do you call a shoe made of poo?

A Croc of Shit

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RustyBuletHole
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
🚨︎ report
I am a shoe repairer...

Does that class me as a sole trader?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
What's my shoe size?

1 ft

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Magnificent-Moe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report
What did they say about the couple who had the same shoe size?

They were sole mates

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
I won biggest shoe competition

It was a really big feat

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Red-Mario
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
In addition to fixing customers shoes, the local cobbler moonlighted as a shoe salesman...

He often found old used shoes in thrift stores and re-soled them.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
How do you make your shoe quit?

Put a sock in it

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
Why did the shoe store call a plumber?

Because they had a clog in their drain!

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Djemini
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
I’m writing a book about a guy who sells shoe parts to satan. It’s your basic β€œSold my sole to the devil” novel.
πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
There was a huge fire at the shoe factory.

Thank God no soles were lost

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
My buddy told me his wife can't cook a shoe.

I said bless you. Why can't she cook?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_hardeeharhar_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
Puns in shoe repair ad
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rasspyre
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
If the shoe were on the other foot...

that foot would feel really uncomfortable.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LiquidSnake13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
The girlfriend and I just drove by a shoe in the road

GF: A shoe!

Me: Bless you

Was pretty proud of myself for a couple minutes.

πŸ‘︎ 134
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dumbass-D
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the right shoe say to the left shoe?

You're my solemate

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
i used to work in a shoe factory

it was sole destroying

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BiscuitWharf8
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
A shoe store in my town burnt down

Luckily, no soles were lost.

From Plauge inc.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blaragraph8675309
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Horse shoe
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mister_gone
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I prefer shoe-laces because Velcro is a rip-off.
πŸ‘︎ 111
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sam_K1102
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are all shoe makers going to heaven?

They have good soles.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/6lesbianlover9
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A duck walks into a bar wearing a shoe.

The bartender asks, "Hey duck, why are you wearing a shoe?"

The duck replies, "I lost the other one."

My dad told me this joke and I was so disappointed I had to share.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snarktopus420
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
You heard about the British pig that ties shoe laces very well?

Nottingham

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Souplorde
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I insisted that my son had a hole in his shoe. He didn't believe me and kept looking and looking, took it off and inspect it. He yelled "There is no hole in there at all!"

So I yelled back "Then how did your foot get in there!"

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
🚨︎ report
If you put your left shoe on the wrong foot

It’s on the right foot

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jdaddy_csg
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Can a shoe box?

No, but a tin can.

That's a rubbish joke.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DreSince85
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My 12 inch ruler fell in my shoe

I guess I'll always have a foot in my shoe

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatRedIronDragon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My shoe has a hole in it

It's how I get my foot inside

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthBradford
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend lost the the bottom of his shoe

Now he’s sole-less

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baichuan496
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife said she felt something in her shoe.

I said it was probably her foot.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vistmar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
If I had a shoe for every ginger I knew ...

I wouldn’t have a sole

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/macnessamae
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop

It was sole destroying

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Amphibatron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Child: β€œDad, wait - I’ve got something in my shoe.”

Dad: β€œIs it a foot?”

Child: β€œI knew you were gonna say that, dad.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChuckinTheCarma
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the dyslexic shoe based superheroes say when they assembled?

Shoe-per friends, untie!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vantair
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I bought a shoe from a drug dealer

He laced it with something I kept tripping all day long

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the shoe become so evil?

It sold its sole to the devil

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/swiggetyswine69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I met a guy who sold shoe parts; I asked if he had a big team.

"No" he replied, "I'm a sole trader".

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KikkoAndMoonman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I witnessed a shoe divorce earlier this year.

Neither party got sole custody of the kids.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to work at a shoe recycling shop but I had to quit.

It was destroying my sole.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I took a video of my shoe the other day

It was some pretty good FOOTage

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MxmxLord
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I recently got fired from a shoe store

They booted me out

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop.

It was sole destroying!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I took a video of my shoe yesterday.

It was some pretty good footage!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Im in your shoe
πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BloxyRed
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the explosion at the Shoe Factory?

God rest their soles.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FellowJacket
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Most important question to ask when shoe shopping
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad hands me this nasty shoe sole and says

I found my sole fishing in the mountains I just want you to have it.

OOC. He brought the shoe sole 1500 miles just to tell me this dad joke

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aslnyysdsear
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My first job was at a shoe recycling centre.

It was sole destroying.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Angry_Daniel
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
A Nike shoe factory burned down πŸ”₯

1000 soles were lost.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ry8
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I once had a job in a shoe recycling factory...

... it was sole destroying.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
did you hear about the single left shoe?

He was feeling lonely and joined dating service to find his soulmate

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boxymcboxbox
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Shoe laces

Wife calls me over to the computer.

Wife: Honey, can you take a look at these shoes for our daughter? They are shock cord bur I don't see a tightener. And I dont know if they tie.

Me: Well, maybe they are Vietnamese.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/latherer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Here's my best impression of a shoe.
πŸ‘︎ 219
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend just lost his job at the shoe factory...

...They gave him the boot

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sketchymetal
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m at a shoe store, but I can’t decide what shoes I want.

I just keep flip-flopping!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Death_Muffins
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
hold on i have something in my shoe

i think it’s a foot

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/__ch4nc3__
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Never buy a shoe from a drug dealer.

You never know what it might be laced with, u could be tripping the whole day.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thelaanie
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an undercover shoe?

A sneaker

πŸ‘︎ 145
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Boom223
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Paul's an assistant at a butcher shop . He's 6 foot tall and wears a size 9 shoe . What does he weight ?

Meat.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Messicanhero
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
German man: *walks into shoe store* German man:
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedDasherXpX
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Gotta protect against all those wool shoe haters out there
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SomeGreenThumb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is there mud on shoe hell?

Because it's sole sucking.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Exdoodles
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I invented a athletic shoe company called Hikes, but everyone leaves my store before trying them on.

I don't get it, I've just been telling them to take a Hike.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MightyOtaku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole crushing.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anamika76
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s a shoe’s favorite music?

Sole.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CadenceQuandry
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Are you gonna pick a shoe?
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MartinFlemz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I Once Worked At A Shoe Recycling Shop...

It Was Sole Destroying.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JamesonSpry
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
🚨︎ report
SHERLOCK: Is that mud on your shoe?

WATSON: No, shit Sherlock.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketshoe21
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
what do you call a shoe made out of a banana?

a slipper

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yyyandere
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a shoe made from a banana?

A slipper!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
If you put your left shoe on the wrong foot

It’s on the right foot

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsChilli
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/420_esketit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
If you put your left shoe on the wrong foot

then it is on the right foot

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/peedeous
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Doodle_98
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Geddy456
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop

It was sole destroying.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainOverKill06
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report

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