I spent most of the weekend fastening pieces of fabric together for an upcoming project.
So I used to have an interest in coloring fabrics, but I decided to make puns instead.
Basically, if I couldn't make puns, I'd dye.
Please vote here: When a prince ties fabric around his neck, is it a scarf, cravat or an ascot?
Voting has ended. It's a tie.
My wife has been online this week, buying lots of black and white fabric.
I do hope she doesn’t make a habit of it
My friend is inventing breakthrough upholstery fabric that can self-mend rips and tears. When I asked how he's progressing, he replied....
I want to tell a joke about fabric...
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
What do you call evil fabric? Satin
Are underpants with a 3.14 mm wide crotch fabric called
What type of fabric softener does iron man use ?
I lost a court case against a fabric softener
I fought Lenor and Lenor won!
A monastery decided to liven up their old clothes by tie-dying them, but the fabric became stiff and uncomfortable. When the Abbott asked a sister to explain, she gave a simple reply:
Have you heard the joke about the gold metalic woven fabric?
I got a build a bear with too little fabric and tried to build it.
I'm like the fabric version of King Midas.
Everything I touch becomes felt.
Why wasn't the fabric softener doing so great?
It was feeling rather Downy.
I just have a preference for certain fabrics.
Nothing you say will dissuede me!
Wife: “should we get the hypoallergenic fabric softener?”
Me: “no the regular stuff is fine we’re only a littleallergenic”
What's Jaw's favorite fabric?
Denim.....denim...denim..denim.denim
Wanna know why I started trying out fabric arts and crafts?
Fabric shops are materialistic.
Why did the comedian go to JoAnn Fabrics?
He wanted to get some new material.
What do you call a helicopter made of old fabric?
Used a fabric softener bottle to spread rock salt on the driveway, had to label it properly
Did you hear about the new fabric that can send text messages?
What kind of fabric makes you procrastinate?
Is that felt? *Obviously cotton fabric*
Son responds, "No."
*Touches said fabric* - "It is now!"
What do you call a psychic fabric?
What happens to the fabric when it reaches consciousness?
I dropped my wife's epilepsy medicine in the washing machine instead of fabric softener....
Now her clothes don't fit.
What Beatle is entirely made out of fabric?
I ran out of fabric softener today.
It's going to be a rough week.
I read that if you sleep on a certain type of fabric smothered with ketchup it adds 20 years to your life.
Unfortunately I can't remember the sauce material
What's the most emotional fabric?
Someone tried to steal my silk sheets and replace them with a cheaper fabric.
Not today, satin.
Not today.
My dad on fabrics...
I got my sister a jacket for her birthday yesterday. We were talking about it today when my dad walks up.
Dad: (feeling her jacket) Is this felt?
Sister: Um, I don't think so...?
Dad: Now it is!
My sister and her friends just stood there while dad walked away, laughing at himself.
I'm like the fabric version of King Midas.
Everything I touch becomes felt.
I'm like the fabric version of King Midas
Everything I touch becomes felt
I'm like the fabric version of King Midas
Everything I touch becomes felt
“Dad, why did you wrap my birthday gift with this weird fabric?”
“I wanted my presents felt.”
As I sashayed around our living room, I shouted out to my family, " I'm like the fabric version of King Midas!"
"Everything I touch becomes felt!"
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