Guys, today was my first day in the navy and I felt so lost!

Wait. Sorry, wrong sub.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nikolai_G
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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After I long time I told my hot coworker how I felt,

She felt the same way.

So I turned on the air conditioner

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iNeedHealing24_7
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
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I asked my friend the windmill how he felt about common misconceptions....

He said, "Hey man, I'm not a big fan."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/POPSKI2020
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
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Excuse me, is that shirt fabric felt?

feels shirt fabric

It is now.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brewers86
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2021
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As a kid, when I felt vulnerable I'd often build myself a pillow fort.

I did so out of an abundance of cushions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
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And I’m sure he felt the burn too!
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andresdoughmas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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I felt overwhelmed with emotion while watching a documentary about the Mariana trench.

It was really deep

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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When I was younger, I felt like a man, trapped inside a woman body.

Then, I was born.

πŸ‘︎ 221
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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Sent this to my gf cuz I felt lonely.
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeKrispyKreme
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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Her body tensed and quivered as she felt wave after wave surge through it...

I probably should have told her about the new electric fence..

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TylerDurdenSEA
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
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My wife asked how I felt about getting Thai food for dinner

I said I was 50/50 on it

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PKMKII
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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I felt uncomfortable with my wife giving me dirty looks in public

So I had to ask her to clean her glasses

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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My realtor asked me how I felt about the defects in the finish trim in my new home.

I said I'll be coping.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chilldabpanda
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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Working on a home construction project and felt like relaxing with drink. Of course it's unsafe to mix alcohol with power tools.

Which is why I mixed my drink with a spoon instead.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BetterThanOP
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I just saw 10 ants frantically running around my kitchen. I felt bad so I built them a small house.

Now I’m their landlord and I collect rent from my tenants.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bovinejabronie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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Wanting to impress my son at the zoo today, I revealed to him, "Used to be best friends with a giraffe, but we had a falling out." Puzzled, he asked, "What happened?" I shook my head, "I don't know really, but I felt..."

"He was always looking down on me!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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I felt so bad when I dropped my toothpaste.

I was Crest-fallen.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobskimo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my dad that I always felt a deep sense of foreboding when we drive on the bridge over the canal

He said "That's because the canal IS for boating."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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I had this one night stand and I felt really bad about it.

So, the next morning I raced out and bought another one for the other side of the bed.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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Why did rotton tomato always felt left out.

Because he couldn't ketchup

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nirmittrivedi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked.

It was earie.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uhavethebiggay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Forgive my brain, but I felt the urge to share this baby of mine
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ClerSeaworth
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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I finally managed to take the perfect nude and felt comfortable sending it to my wife

My secretary looked extra beautiful in that light and atmosphere!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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I felt like a hero when I donated that kindey to save a kid's life

Figured the collection was getting a bit too big so why not

credit to the r/TwoSentenceHorror subreddit

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImRoderick1303
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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I tried my hand at macrame and felt bad about it.

When I looked at my finished work, I realized that I did something that was very knotty.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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Just found this store by chance called Ollie’s. Aside from all the great liquidation sales, the walls are a pun gold mine! I felt it be a crime not to post pictures of it on here. reddit.com/gallery/iij3ts
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KORZILLA-is-me
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
After days, it felt nice to finally come clean

I was starting to smell

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AudenWolfe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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I saw a horizontal axis today and felt uncomfortable.

We used to date.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anxieturt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Martha had always listened to her parents when they said β€˜stay away from fire’, but today, her interests got the best of her and she intentionally lit herself on fire just to see what it felt like.

Martha was burning with curiosity

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/husbus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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At that moment, Dr. Frankenstein knew what it felt like to be God.
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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Saw it on r/memes, felt like it belongs here
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beebeepsheep
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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One time in my anatomy class, we dissected a sheep brain and I have to admit, I felt a bit sheepish about it.

Sorry, that was just a ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-d joke.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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Felt. Might delete later.
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_bang482
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I felt clever so I'm posting here.
πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hudjoj
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Can you just imagine how pterosaurs felt seeing that meteor entering the earths atmosphere?

Probably pterofied.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterNova924
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I felt really sad when I saw a girl on TV crying and saying, β€œI Miss America!”

Then someone corrected her grammar and gave her a sash and a tiara.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Felt this belonged here
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IINightMasterII
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Please accept my Heart Felt thanks.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrShaunce
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve always felt bad for the silverfish

Sure, I know they’re disgusting little bugs. But I started taking pity on the little guys after they only came in second in this poll of people’s favorite animals.

The winner, of course, was the goldfish.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jweiss10
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A fly felt something bite his back...

Fly: "Hmmm. Whoever that was must be pretty small to fit on my back"

     "Hey! What are you? A mite? "

Mite: " Yeah, as in I MIGHT have just bit you hahaha!"

Fly: "That's the worst pun I've ever heard."

Mite: "What can I say, I came up with it on the fly."

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewyNutCluster
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I bet it felt great to finnish that!
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cREDBARON
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Guys, today was my first day in the navy and I felt so lost!

Sorry, wrong sub.

πŸ‘︎ 509
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crossover131
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I had this one night stand and I felt so bad about it...

So the next morning, I rushed out and bought another one for the other side of the bed.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was younger I felt like a man trapped in a woman’s body.

But then I was born.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theunkillable
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was younger, I felt like a man trapped in a woman's body ...

Then I was born

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadPuppyZA
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Is this shirt felt?

touch shirt

It is now

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moonspace21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report

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