Guys, today was my first day in the navy and I felt so lost!
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︎ May 05 2021
After I long time I told my hot coworker how I felt,
She felt the same way.
So I turned on the air conditioner
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︎ May 24 2021
I asked my friend the windmill how he felt about common misconceptions....
He said, "Hey man, I'm not a big fan."
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︎ May 24 2021
And Iβm sure he felt the burn too!
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︎ Jan 30 2021
I felt overwhelmed with emotion while watching a documentary about the Mariana trench.
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︎ Apr 28 2021
When I was younger, I felt like a man, trapped inside a woman body.
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︎ Feb 17 2021
Sent this to my gf cuz I felt lonely.
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︎ Mar 01 2021
Her body tensed and quivered as she felt wave after wave surge through it...
I probably should have told her about the new electric fence..
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︎ Mar 08 2021
My wife asked how I felt about getting Thai food for dinner
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︎ Feb 11 2021
I felt uncomfortable with my wife giving me dirty looks in public
So I had to ask her to clean her glasses
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︎ Mar 07 2021
My realtor asked me how I felt about the defects in the finish trim in my new home.
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︎ Feb 07 2021
Working on a home construction project and felt like relaxing with drink. Of course it's unsafe to mix alcohol with power tools.
Which is why I mixed my drink with a spoon instead.
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︎ Feb 05 2021
I just saw 10 ants frantically running around my kitchen. I felt bad so I built them a small house.
Now Iβm their landlord and I collect rent from my tenants.
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︎ Feb 07 2020
Wanting to impress my son at the zoo today, I revealed to him, "Used to be best friends with a giraffe, but we had a falling out." Puzzled, he asked, "What happened?" I shook my head, "I don't know really, but I felt..."
"He was always looking down on me!"
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︎ Jan 11 2021
I felt so bad when I dropped my toothpaste.
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︎ Nov 24 2020
I told my dad that I always felt a deep sense of foreboding when we drive on the bridge over the canal
He said "That's because the canal IS for boating."
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︎ Jan 07 2021
I had this one night stand and I felt really bad about it.
So, the next morning I raced out and bought another one for the other side of the bed.
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︎ Dec 13 2020
Why did rotton tomato always felt left out.
Because he couldn't ketchup
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︎ Dec 11 2020
In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked.
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︎ Sep 21 2020
Forgive my brain, but I felt the urge to share this baby of mine
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︎ Sep 29 2020
I finally managed to take the perfect nude and felt comfortable sending it to my wife
My secretary looked extra beautiful in that light and atmosphere!
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︎ Nov 14 2020
I felt like a hero when I donated that kindey to save a kid's life
Figured the collection was getting a bit too big so why not
credit to the r/TwoSentenceHorror subreddit
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︎ Nov 04 2020
I tried my hand at macrame and felt bad about it.
When I looked at my finished work, I realized that I did something that was very knotty.
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︎ Sep 27 2020
Just found this store by chance called Ollieβs. Aside from all the great liquidation sales, the walls are a pun gold mine! I felt it be a crime not to post pictures of it on here.
reddit.com/gallery/iij3ts
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︎ Aug 29 2020
After days, it felt nice to finally come clean
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︎ Sep 21 2020
I saw a horizontal axis today and felt uncomfortable.
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︎ Sep 08 2020
Martha had always listened to her parents when they said βstay away from fireβ, but today, her interests got the best of her and she intentionally lit herself on fire just to see what it felt like.
Martha was burning with curiosity
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︎ Jul 15 2020
At that moment, Dr. Frankenstein knew what it felt like to be God.
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︎ Jul 20 2020
Saw it on r/memes, felt like it belongs here
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︎ Dec 26 2019
One time in my anatomy class, we dissected a sheep brain and I have to admit, I felt a bit sheepish about it.
Sorry, that was just a ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-d joke.
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︎ Sep 15 2020
Felt. Might delete later.
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︎ May 09 2019
Is this shirt felt?
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︎ Aug 24 2020
I felt really sad when I saw a girl on TV crying and saying, βI Miss America!β
Then someone corrected her grammar and gave her a sash and a tiara.
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︎ Aug 14 2020
I felt clever so I'm posting here.
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︎ Feb 17 2020
Can you just imagine how pterosaurs felt seeing that meteor entering the earths atmosphere?
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︎ Jul 17 2020
Iβve always felt bad for the silverfish
Sure, I know theyβre disgusting little bugs. But I started taking pity on the little guys after they only came in second in this poll of peopleβs favorite animals.
The winner, of course, was the goldfish.
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︎ Jul 21 2020
Please accept my Heart Felt thanks.
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︎ Apr 27 2020
Felt this belonged here
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︎ Sep 19 2018
A fly felt something bite his back...
Fly: "Hmmm. Whoever that was must be pretty small to fit on my back"
"Hey! What are you? A mite? "
Mite: " Yeah, as in I MIGHT have just bit you hahaha!"
Fly: "That's the worst pun I've ever heard."
Mite: "What can I say, I came up with it on the fly."
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︎ Mar 01 2020
I bet it felt great to finnish that!
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︎ Mar 26 2020
A man approached me, touched my shirt and asked βis this felt?β To which I responded βnoβ.
He replied βit is nowβ.
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︎ Jul 18 2020
Puppets are often felt.
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︎ May 16 2020
Guys, today was my first day in the navy and I felt so lost!
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︎ Dec 14 2020
I had this one night stand and I felt so bad about it...
So the next morning, I rushed out and bought another one for the other side of the bed.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
When I was younger I felt like a man trapped in a womanβs body.
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︎ Sep 12 2020
When I was younger, I felt like a man trapped in a woman's body ...
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︎ May 21 2019
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