She seems to be having a field day out there.
saw a girl with a tattoo of a tree on her breast, seems like it would be painful...
UFO's have been in the news a lot lately but no one seems to care.
Frankly, I think it must be over most people's heads.
Seems like a Bassless claim to me
Bob Dylan didn't seem surprised when a boulder fell off a mountain on top of his house.
He calmly said it was just like a rolling stone.
Street sweepers may seem slow, but they're actually really fast.
They're always going "broom, broom."
I've been looking around for good, unused dad jokes but can't seem to find any
I guess I'll just have to look even father
The fish in my fish tank seem to be fatigued and in constant pain.
I think it is fibromyalgae.
Why do thermometers seem so shady?
Because they’re always up to something.
I just saw an announcement on TV. Seems there’s a fortune teller that happens to be a dwarf, wanted by the FBI
To sum it up, there’s a small medium at large.
Back in my day, high school sports athletic conferences wouldn’t let you participate if you didn’t keep at least a 2.0 grade point average. It seems times have drastically changed...
I just heard about 20,000 leagues under the C!
Yoga people never seem to be happy...
They're always bent out if shape.
I seem to have worn out my welcome.
I don’t know why everyone seem to have a problem with vegans.
I have never had a beef with one.
I really need to stop looking at the internet today. Everything seems to be an April Fool's gag.
None of the other subs seem to appreciate my festive Gingerbread house. Maybe you folks would appreciate it?
Seems the Weekend had compete creative control for the halftime special and brought in his own production team.
I guess Everybody's Working For the Weekend.
Honest LPT: I got embarrassed the other day, and want to help other people avoid making my mistake. Now this might seem counterintuitive, but if you come up with a good dad joke MEMORIZD it and NEVER write it down. Because the moment you put it on paper...
Penny production with Abraham Lincoln’s face seems to be quite low this year.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music....
Think it's the Chopin board.
Can't seem to get a job in the Covid Era...
I think I have hired immunitity.
Internet seems boring in 2021
Or at least not as “flashy”
No matter what shampoo I use, I can’t seem to get rid of my dandruff.
It’s a real head scratcher.
Everyone seems to think next year will bring back some comforts of normalcy
I’m not so convinced though since 2021 is guaranteed to be an odd year
Why do vampires seem sick?
I don't seem to have the enthusiasm to break wind like I used to
In fact, the last few were very half-farted
I’m a really short guy, and I always seem to pick fights over nothing
It’s hard trying to be the bigger person!
It seems my ability to make puns…
…has just groan over time.
All my jokes seem to lack in range.
No matter what I do, I just can’t seem to master the entire alphabet.
3 and 5 seem to no get along.
They seem to be at odds with each other.
Strange it seems, Alan Turning
My Caribbean mate never seems too bothered when we arrange to meet up;
I think he might be from the 'K Man' islands
Why did the room packed with married people seem empty?
Because there wasn’t a single person there
Doctors who are always in a rush don't seem to be very successful.
I think it's the lack of patients.
My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I can’t seem to open any of the files.
I always have trouble with emotional attachments.
My doctor, who is also a clown... Asked me what seems to be the problem
I said, funny you should ask
Taylor Swift is not what she seems
I sent her my trousers to be taken up by 4 inches over 3 months ago
and I still haven't had them back!
My wife said, “I can’t seem to find my datebook. Do you know where it is?”
I said, “Sounds like... you have a hidden agenda.”
I heard this i while back don’t remember where its from, sorry if it seems butchered(longish)
One day a loving husband and father of 2 sons comes home, one of the sons asks him to come upstairs, so he comes upstairs and his son says“dad, im gay” the father, surprised says “well, okay, i still support you son”.
The next day the father comes home to his other son asking him to come upstairs, he goes and the son also comes out as gay, the loving father says “both you and your brother, i wont have any kids, but, i still support you”........ ........ ........ ........ ........ ........
The father then walks down stairs to go and play with the family dog(male) and finds him in the backyard humping the neighbors(also male) dog. The father walks back into the house and exclaims
“Does anyone in this house like women”.
His wife taps him on the sholder
Banksy seems like a trustworthy artist.
Sure he's kind of shady, a bit sketchy, but he's not trying to frame me.
A lot of people on Reddit seem to have a problem with vegans, but I don’t get it.
I have never had a beef with one.
Why did the vampire seem sick?
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