If you tend sheep then you are a shepherd. If you tend cow then you are.....
The most important Dad at the annual neighborhood end of Summer barbeque bash!
Why do detectives tend to scrutinize individuals with bluish eyes in cases of poisoning?
Because the real killer is usually cyan-eyed.
Did you know bees tend to have unusual religious beliefs?
That's because they're insects
Why do Egyptian riverboat captains tend to be flat-earthers?
Because they live in da Nile.
During covid, my orthodontist told my I should tend to my teeth by myself.
“How?” I asked.
He said “Brace yourself.”
When single ladies get to the age of 50, they tend to get lots of cats.
This phenomenon is known as many paws
TIL that scientists have proven people tend to be more prideful in during summertime...
...because pride cometh before the fall.
People tend to be buried underground because...
They feel like it has a deeper meaning.
Ever notice bankers tend to keep to themselves?
They're loaners by nature.
American School shooting jokes tend to be aimed at the younger audience.
People tend to be shocked when they find out what a bad electrician I am.
What do you call a bird that tends to it's lawn?
People tend to not be too fond of the movie Ferngully, but I think it just has a bat rap
The Rev. Spooner got the world Poker champion in to tend his vegetable plants.
He was told to 'Weed 'em and reap'
I tend not to like orange cars with flags on the roof.
Someone that tends to chickens is a real life chicken tender.
How does Father Christmas tend to his garden?
My daughter told me dogs tend to pile up when it comes to this ice cream.
Q: Which of your senses tend to diminish as you get older?
A new study has found that white envelopes tend to be delivered faster than envelopes of any other colour
I guess you could say that there's...
white mail privilege
Perfume companies tend to get wrongly accused of laundering money.
But their business is in a scent
Shakespeare was hired by a theater to tend patrons' horses...
How did Shakespeare learn all about his new employer?
During its onbarding process.
Lately, my wife has been complaining that I tend not to
The problems for this bear just tend to pylon. (sorry for possible repost)
imgur.com/vFszd0m
What do you say when Ed Sheeran tends to you?
Really constipated people tend to keep their friends close...
...and their enemas even closer.
I tend to give money to homeless people, who I find sleeping on the grass, on a winter morning.
I always give credit where it's dew.
Why do baseball bats tend to break near the grip on Saturdays and Sundays?
Because it's the weekend.
The idea that government tends to become too big and inefficient is a self-fulfilling profligacy.
I learned today that melons tend to have big family weddings.
Tyrion Lannister tends to gamble his meat and mead while sitting on tall stool...
That way the steaks are higher.
Why do significant people tend to be fat?
Because the more mass they have, the more they matter.
My friends don't like it when I play Mario Kart with them. I tend to drive them crazy.
When I can't decide which dessert to get, I tend to go with fruit flavored ice cream.
I tend to be the butt of everyone's jokes
My wife says it's because I'm an ass
Guy used to be in the army. Real good looking guy too. Blond hair, tall, blue eyes. But now tends to sick animals, helping to diagnose and treat them so they can get better.
So, I tend to over-share when I drink ....
I think I have vowel incontinence.
My dad tends to stare (as they do) when I ask him what he's looking at he has two standard responses:
"Puzzle with a nose in it"
or
"I dunno, the label fell off"
When single women get to the age of 50, they tend to acquire lots of cats and dogs.
This phenomenon is known as many paws.
Someone that tends to chickens is a real life chicken tender
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