What do you say to a yak when you want it to speed up?

Yakcellerate! (My 5 year old made this up)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/botanysteve
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
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When my Himalayan friend told his son to go sheer a yak's fur, the son replied...

"Sherpa"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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What's the difference between a Yak and a Bison.

One talks too much.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTimeDictator
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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My Yik Yak feed delivers

http://i.imgur.com/LT5FoFE.png

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danididdle23
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2015
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How does a yak say farewell to it’s boy?

Bison

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jtp5290
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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What is a teenager yak doing locked in his room?

Probably just yacking off

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CorpseP4int
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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What do you call a yak that always contradicting itself

An oxymoron

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fuzz-daddy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2018
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I use Yik Yak for practice.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Staarlord
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2015
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Saw this on yik yak today.

Chinese takeout: $10.45 Gas roundtrip to pick up takeout: $3.78 Getting home and realizing you're missing one container: riceless

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πŸ‘€︎ u/osofoxy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2014
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What animal can fix anything?

A yak of all trades.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phillydog1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
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I tried wild ox milk

Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShadeTreeMechanix
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
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Grocery stores are now carrying gluten-free beef.

It's made from cattle that have Silly Yaks' disease.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
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It's magic
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bongnazi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
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I saw a guy drink a bottle of brandy, then fill it to the top with water and screw the lid back on.

He approached a wild ox. The ox looked at him.

The guy said, "Hello, there, wild ox. Would you like to buy this bottle of brandy from me? Β£50, that is all."

The wild ox mulled it over, before pulling out the money and handing it over to the man.

In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have jumped up and yelled, "It's a con, yak!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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My Himalayan friend has a cow that refuses to sleep.

I guess it's an insomni-yak

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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What do you call a cross-eyed bison that won't eat wheat?

A silly yak

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πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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Why did the farmer mistakenly work extra hard to keep barley and wheat away from his prized ox?

The vet had recently diagnosed him with silly yak disease.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/das_bic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
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Why did the wild ox refuse to eat anything besides gluten free sandwiches?

He was a silly yak.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fonebone45
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
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What did the buffalo say when his kid left for college?

Bison.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FNGPete
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2013
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A Target cashier commented on my purchase

I was buying Goat Simulator as a gag gift for a friend. The cashier looks at it and I smile uncomfortably. He says, "Don't be sheepish about buying this".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a-username-for-me
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2014
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I just burnt my Hawaiian pizza...

guess I should have put it on aloha temperature. got if from the yaks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pussyratatouille
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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Why don't they allow Buffallo on Kayaks?

Because its a Ka-YAK not a Ka-UFFALLO!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sdonaghy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2016
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Sleep-Deprivation Fueled Pun War

My friend (L) and I (B) ended up in a pun war. She had to wake up super early to catch a flight, and this was at about one in the morning:

L: I should definitely set my alarm to 'cow' o.O

B: Haha, do it. Nothing like waking up to cows in the 'moo'rning.

L: Oh my gosh. Absolutely not.

B: Hey, but it would be so 'udder'ly hilarious!

L: I just got stabbed to death by a pun.

B: I'm just trying to 'milk' it for all it's worth...

L: If I did that, I'm not sure I'd wake up in a happy 'moo'od.

B: Just drink some 'calf'inated coffee, and you'll be fine.

L: I'd be laughing 'stock' of the town... Cows don't have a sense of humor.

B: Bull!

L: I'll just use my cowculator do determine how much sleep I'm actually going to get tonight...

B: You could wake up a little later, but you'd have to 'hoof' it to the airport.

L: Hope the weather is good, so my plane isn't 'ground'ed 'beef'.

B: That's stretching it... You should make more of an 'heifer't to come up with good puns.

L: I know when I'm getting creamed.

B: It's hard to 'steer' you in the right direction, because you keep changing topics.

L: That's udderly ridiculous. I'm just trying to mooove on.

B: And I just keep churning 'em out...

L: No, you're just spinning your 'veal's.

B: That's one of the best ones I've herd all night!

L: I thought I might've butchered it...

B: PETA might have a beef with you because of it, though...

L: Well done, well done...

B: I don't think they care leather or not you personally slaughtered it, too.

L: See now, I wish you'd stop 'grilling' me about the bad puns... You should 'patty' yourself on the back. I 'dairy' you to come up with more.

B: Well, you can certainly steak a claim for being able to hold your own...

L: I'm a natural 'barn' comedian. However, I really should quit 'yak'king and go to bed. :p

B: Okay, that's not cows... You lose. You 'cud' have done a lot better.

L: The grass is greener on the other side, okay? Also, cows live in barns, and yaks are related to cows.

B: It was still quite a stretch... Don't have a cow about it.

L: Ha anymoo. Goodnight! Also, don't die of mad cow disease.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/guerrilla154
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2015
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What sort of animal can't get to sleep?

An insomni-yak.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fuzzybo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2016
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Dad goes to speech therapy

Therapist: "repeat after me; I'm thirsty"

Dad: I'm...thirsty

Therapist: "I'm hungry"

Dad: I'm..h... Hi hungry, I'm dad

Therapist: throws clipboard at wall


credit to my University Yik Yak

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bloodyandalive
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2015
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What do you call a Himalayan cow that can't sleep?

An insomni-yak

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NashtyBoy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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