A joke about herd immunity isn't funny unless...

...everyone gets it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HunterSwan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20
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How does a farmer count his herd?

With a Cowculator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DismalSeagull
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29
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TIL: Two elephants of the same herd won’t go into the same body of water together at the same time.

It’s because they only have one pair of trunks between the two of them.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justshtmypnts
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22
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What do you call a guy that herds reindeer instead of cattle?

A Jolly Rancher!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clark_creationz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10
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Herd Instinct
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πŸ‘€︎ u/collins432
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
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What do you call a herd of cows gambling at a marijuana dispensary?

High Steaks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matttized
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
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Herd a good one on fb today
πŸ‘︎ 956
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πŸ‘€︎ u/W00KIEL0VER
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
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I herd you
πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kyle01016
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
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I’ve just been attacked by a herd of cows.

I’m ok, but I’ve been badly grazed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 14
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As if 2020 wasn't crazy enough in Texas today, a herd of cows suddenly burst into flames.

Scientists still don't know what the cattle-lyst was.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TigerDiesel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14
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My friends said that while in safari in Africa, his family was attacked by a herd of oxlike antelopes.

That's gnus to me!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05
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There was a herd of cows on this big hill. A big gust of wind came by and blew all the smaller cows away. Puzzled, the rancher went up to one of the bulls that were still standing and asks,"How come you bulls are still standing?" The bull replies...

"Cuz we bulls wobble but we don't fall down."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
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What happened when two herds of evenly-matched cows got into a turf war?

There was mootual destruction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MBonez12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
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Two men are organizing a herd of deer.

Two men are organizing a herd of deer. Seeing as the had 26 deer, they decided to label each one with a letter of the alphabet. As they’re herding them into an enclosure, they realize they only had 25.

β€œOne of them’s missing,” said the first man.

β€œOh dear.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcnicken1
πŸ“…︎ May 04
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You herd that right
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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What do you call a herd of cows above an earthquake?

Milkshakes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pnohgi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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A herd of wildebeests was ranging across Africa, destroying huts and missionaries...

When they were all killed, the newspaper headline read, "No gnus is good news!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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What do you call a herd of rampaging mailmen?

A Stamp-ede.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whollybeef
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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Driving through farmland with the family, my dad randomly says β€œHey look! A whole flock of cows!” My uncle corrects him: β€œHerd of cows...”

Dad: β€œOf course I’ve heard of cows! Look! They’re all over the damn place!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brik5ean
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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I think he herd.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A-British-Indian
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep...

Fortunately, I was only grazed.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porkchop_d_clown
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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What do you call a herd of cows jumping over a barbed wire fence?

Udder devastation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pa526
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2018
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What do you call a herd of sheep falling down a hill?

A lambslide

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πŸ‘€︎ u/feathersoft
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2017
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My mom was telling a sweet story about how a herd of elephants we're keeping a deceased calf with them on their Journey

Without missing a beat my dad goes "Why didn't they just keep him in the trunk.

I'm still laughing like a drunken seal.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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Driving with my son and we pass a farm. I point out the flock of cows. He turns to me and says "Dad it's a herd of cows"

Heard of cows, of course I heard of cows. I just pointed out a flock of them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chefdumbdumb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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A crisis has developed after a herd of cows ate an entire shipment of edibles

Officials say the steaks have never been higher

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bendragonpants
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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Why couldn't the cowboy get the herd of cows moving along?

He needed a cattle list to get started

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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Santa addresses his herd

I'm sorry to fawn over you guys, but you're deer to me.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vaskaat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2018
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I bet you a group of sheep never herd this pun before.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Polarase
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2017
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You know what I herd?

Cattle

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
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Herd you like puns imgur.com/gallery/e8CBXKL
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πŸ‘€︎ u/horizontalcracker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2014
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Did you hear about the guy who herds young goats?

He's great with kids

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dinaron
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2016
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My daughter got me this morning. "Dad, what should you wear if you want to hide in a herd of camels?"

Camelflage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zulubowie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2016
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hoist-that-rag
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2014
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Apparently Dartmoor ponies are being sold for their meat to help the herd survive.

Here is the story. I suggested to the family that they might make a good mane course and got many groans for my trouble.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blarty97
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2015
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