I never take my herding dog into the theatre, but tonight my children are performing.
So I might let my coliseum.
A farmer and his dog are herding sheep.
They finish and the dog says "I counted 40 sheep"
The farmer replies, "Weird, I only got 37"
The dog replies "I rounded them up"
What do you call a sad herding dog?
The impala was struggling to keep up with the rest of the herd.
She refused to pick up her pace because she was anti-lope.
Who is the meanest reindeer in Santa's herd?
Olive. You've heard the song. "Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names."
A joke about herd immunity isn't funny unless...
How does a farmer count his herd?
TIL: Two elephants of the same herd won’t go into the same body of water together at the same time.
It’s because they only have one pair of trunks between the two of them.
What do you call a guy that herds reindeer instead of cattle?
Herd a good one on fb today
What do you call a herd of cows gambling at a marijuana dispensary?
I’ve just been attacked by a herd of cows.
I’m ok, but I’ve been badly grazed.
Just a buffalo laying down, bisoness as usual.
As if 2020 wasn't crazy enough in Texas today, a herd of cows suddenly burst into flames.
Scientists still don't know what the cattle-lyst was.
My friends said that while in safari in Africa, his family was attacked by a herd of oxlike antelopes.
There was a herd of cows on this big hill. A big gust of wind came by and blew all the smaller cows away. Puzzled, the rancher went up to one of the bulls that were still standing and asks,"How come you bulls are still standing?" The bull replies...
"Cuz we bulls wobble but we don't fall down."
What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a angry cow?
you get two animals in a baaaaaaaad moooooooood
Edit: Thank u for the gold, kind stranger
What happened when two herds of evenly-matched cows got into a turf war?
There was mootual destruction
“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. “All you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep. “What did you say?” challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled...
Two men are organizing a herd of deer.
Two men are organizing a herd of deer.
Seeing as the had 26 deer, they decided to label each one with a letter of the alphabet. As they’re herding them into an enclosure, they realize they only had 25.
“One of them’s missing,” said the first man.
“Oh dear.”
I asked my sheepdog how many sheep we had, he said 40.
"What? We should only have 37!" I replied.
"I know" he said, "I rounded them up".
My wife is kicking me out because she's fed up with my South American animal puns...
'OK,' I said, 'Alpaca my bags.'
What do you call a herd of Corgis?
What do you call a herd of cows above an earthquake?
"Hey, look at that flock of cows!"
"Herd."
"What?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows, there's a flock of them right there!"
What do you call a herd of rampaging mailmen?
Every day I have to take my cow through a vineyard…
I herd it through the grapevine.
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep...
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
Driving through farmland with the family, my dad randomly says “Hey look! A whole flock of cows!” My uncle corrects him: “Herd of cows...”
Dad: “Of course I’ve heard of cows! Look! They’re all over the damn place!”
A herd of wildebeests was ranging across Africa, destroying huts and missionaries...
When they were all killed, the newspaper headline read, "No gnus is good news!"
What do you call a herd of cows jumping over a barbed wire fence?
A sheep farmer was having a bad day..
The sheep were all “baaa” then another would reply “baaa” and another “baaa” and on an on “baaa”
Finally the farmer bursts out:
“All right, all right, I herd you!!”
What do you call a herd of sheep falling down a hill?
This sub is like a dairy farm
A farm sheep was bleating weirdly one day.
It’s owner could not believe the weird bleats the sheep was making,
so he asked out loud sheepishly in frustration:
“what the hell was that!?”
“You herd me” - the sheep replied.
What did the farmer yell to the shepherds who ran away after their flocks ate all his grass?
My mom was telling a sweet story about how a herd of elephants we're keeping a deceased calf with them on their Journey
Without missing a beat my dad goes "Why didn't they just keep him in the trunk.
I'm still laughing like a drunken seal.
A crisis has developed after a herd of cows ate an entire shipment of edibles
Officials say the steaks have never been higher
Why couldn't the cowboy get the herd of cows moving along?
He needed a cattle list to get started
A farmer and his dog are herding sheep. They finish and his dog says "I counted 40 sheep". The farmer replies, "That's odd I only got 37.”
The dog replies "I rounded them up".
Driving with my son and we pass a farm. I point out the flock of cows. He turns to me and says "Dad it's a herd of cows"
Heard of cows, of course I heard of cows. I just pointed out a flock of them.
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