I am thinking of pursuing a career in crowd estimation.

I wonder how many people are in that field.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
Sitting around watching the birds crowd around the bird feeder,

My brother says, "Someone must have left a good Yelp review." I said, "Yeah, somebody tweeted about it."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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i guess the crowd wasn't orderly orderly orderly though
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ggeerrtt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
You know how they throw the ball into the crowd after they win the game?

Apparently, that's not allowed in bowling. I know that now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmBeeCSGO
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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A child in Egypt got separated from her mom in the crowd and was looking for her but got confused.

Because there were so many mummies.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lunarmeric
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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But they can still draw a crowd
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HueyLameass
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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If two's company & three's a crowd, what are four & five?

Nine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xero19
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.

I hope you scrolled past that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigdickcorrine
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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A magician stood in front of a crowd and claimed that he could disappear. He counted, β€œUno..dos..” and was suddenly gone.

He disappeared without a tres.

πŸ‘︎ 305
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeopardusMaximus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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There's quite a crowd at the lego store

They are lined up for blocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thephantomnose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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The crowd doesn’t deserve MC-Dino...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mbs3
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
For the IT crowd
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/obonecanolli
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
MC-Dino hopes the Reddit crowd gets him... πŸ₯Ί
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mbs3
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
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Watching an Australian cooking show and the chef made some meringue and the crowd cheered!

Surprising since most Aussies like to boo meringue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoosierdaddiesx
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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Did you hear about the crowds at the grand opening of the new Lego store?

People were lined up for blocks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CurGeorge8
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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There was a Mexican magician who said "I will disappear on the count of 3"! The crowd was silent. He began to count. "Uno... Dos...

and the magician disappeared, with out a trace.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NYRion7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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With the barber shop finally open after many weeks, there was a huge crowd of people jostling for position to get in...

They really need a hair traffic controller.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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Joke for a hard crowd /r/cleanjokes/comments/go…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/koNekterr
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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My friend takes bets on who's the ugliest person in a crowd.

He's a FaceBookie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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Trying to grab some toilet paper among the crowd at Costco was really traumatic.

I think I have TPSD.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
After winning the game I decided to throw the ball into the crowd like they do on TV.

Apparently, that's unacceptable in bowling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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What do you call a mattock that stands out from the crowd?

Cons-pick-uous

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flylink63
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Another one for the IT crowd (if you got this, you are old - sorry)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/obonecanolli
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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I am thinking of pursuing a job as a crowd estimator.

I wonder how many people are in that field.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the crowd throw ice at his majesty?

Someone shouted β€œAll hail the king”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmahler0514
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
The crowd watched in suspense as the man attempted to scale the building whilst eating an apple

They feared he may have bitten off more than he could chew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucaewings27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a crowd of chess enthusiasts talking about how good they were when I was going into the theatre...

.... they were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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My dad told me this: A Spanish magician went up on stage he said to the crowd I am gonna disappear on the count of 3, Uno, Dos then he disappeared without a trace
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KirbyThings
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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A dadjoke set for the kindergarten crowd

If you ever end up having to entertain kids around kindergarten age (5 or 6 years old) here are some jokes you can use.

Write the letter Y on a board or piece of paper. Ask, "Can you tell me what this letter is?" and they'll say "Y", to which you respond, "Because I want to know how smart you are."

After a bit of back and forth you can look exasperated that they don't get it (when of course it is you who don't get it), then say, "Okay here's an easy one, can you tell me what this word is?" Write down the word NO and of course the kids will say "NO" and you can say, "You don't know what this word is?" or "You know what it is but you won't tell me?" Kids usually think it's hilarious that an adult can be this dense.

For kids who can spell words, you can use ones like "duck" and then when they say it you can duck as if something is coming at you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmethvin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
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How do you draw a crowd?

With a pen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PR0CR45T184T0R
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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I always wanted a job estimating crowd sizes.

I wonder how many people are in that field.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
🚨︎ report
I hate crowds, and just walked into a room full of married people.

Thankfully, there wasn’t a single person in there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Polos versus Trebor mints, Polos score! And the whole crowd goes menthol
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sammy_Colon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a crowd of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dohpaz42
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve this irrational fear of crowds and I just walked into a room crammed with married people.

Thankfully there isn’t a single person in it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend went with a tour group to the capital of South Korea and got lost amongst the crowd...

It took a little Seoul searching, but he eventually found his way.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why wouldn't the rock fan crowd surf at the concert?

He didn't want to get carried away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/positivecynik
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I was the solo support act for minor local rock group, 'Nothing'. My set went terribly. I was out of tune, really nervous, the equipment was failing too. The crowd began to boo and leave in droves.

I said, "you ain't seen Nothing yet!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mittenshape
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A comedian told a bad joke so the crowd threw bread crumbs at him.

He took it with a grain assault.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/3Dbabble
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
🚨︎ report
I always think about getting a job estimating crowd sizes for different outdoor events.

I wonder how many people are in that field.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m thinking about pursuing a job as a crowd estimator.

I wonder how many people are in that field.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
🚨︎ report
We knew every one of the magician's tricks, and would announce the secret to the crowd

He got so angry at us, he puled his hare out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s Captain Picard’s first instruction to his employees, in anticipation of the Friday evening crowds at a Mexican restaurant that he supervises?

β€œMake queso, number one.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SabinCrusades
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
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My band member was up in arms after being made to crowd surf.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
🚨︎ report
A magician fooled a crowd by making it look like be shoved bamboo up his nose

They were bamboozled

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I hate crowds, and just walked into a room full of married people.

Thankfully, there wasn’t a single person in there.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report

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