Now that the Fall is officially here, I can't wait to make tons of extra money gathering leaves..

.. last year I raked it in.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 25 2020
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What do you call a gathering of math nerds?

A root of squares.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/this_time_i_mean_it
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 04 2020
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Churches had to disband when it was announced there would be no more mass gatherings.

They followed the guidance religiously.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The_Chosen_Pun_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25 2020
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What do you call a bunch of crows gathering money?

Crowd funding

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 04 2020
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Austrian government has banned gatherings of more than 5 people

They have been Austriacized..

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gregfrompayroll
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16 2020
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The governor banned gatherings of more than eighteen crows.

They’re supposed to isolate themselves from corvid nineteen.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sgri0b
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2020
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When I was on Naked and Afraid, I went out gathering food. I was able to find 2 small slugs to bring back to camp...

It was slimy pickings for dinner that evening.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 01 2020
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What do you call a cannibal social gathering?

A meat and eat!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/scardeal
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 29 2020
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A large gathering of priests and nuns arranged themselves to form an image of Christ visible from space...

But it wasn't for altruism of course, they all stood to make an enormous prophet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Phryxil
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2020
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I'm considering selling my vacuum, it's just standing there, gathering dust.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/paranoidlittlekid
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2019
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I walked in on a gathering of knights sitting at a round table and eating pie.

I found the Sir conference.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2019
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Wholesome family gathering
πŸ‘οΈŽ 80
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Might_guy_saitama
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 11 2019
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My friend just started a business gathering sticks together and tying them for convenient handling...

He hopes to make a bundle!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2019
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A woman came up to me and said she had met me before at the vegetarian gathering

I had never met herbivore

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gutsey
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22 2019
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Where do the knights of the round table have their annual gatherings?

At the Sir-conference

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mitcheg3k
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2019
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What do you call a Vegan gathering?

A Vegetableup

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The81stFriend
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2019
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What’s a russian family gathering with members aged 30+ called?

A Soviet Reunion

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Zeepat963
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 11 2019
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What do you call a gathering of T-Rex to share their art and trade good?

A T-Rexpo

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rine117
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 18 2019
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Whenever I get to a party or social gathering I would always talk about my late wife.

She’d usually arrive about a half hour after.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Colination
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18 2019
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Did you guys hear how boring the annual gathering of reddit mascots turned out?

It really turned into a huge Snoo's fest.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CaptainPatent
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2018
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What do you call a gathering of people with skin disease?

A leper-con.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bawykweepkee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 31 2018
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Went to investigate a strange gathering of crows today...

Didn't see a dead body but I did witness a Murder...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thelummx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2017
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I like gathering herbs and spices around Christmas.

After all, it's the most wonderful thyme of the year.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tsintzask
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 23 2016
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After a long day the horse family is gathering around the dinner table

Son: Hey, what's up? Dad: How many times do I have to tell you not to talk to your food?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ib0T
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 27 2018
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Dad always tells this at family gatherings

My dad always tells people that he has one brother but twice as much sisters while he only has two siblings.

His only sister is a nun.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cutelikepotato
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2017
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Dadjoked playing Magic: The Gathering

"So I'll attack with these two guys."

"Okay. I'll take five."

"That's fine, but when you come back we need to figure out how much damage this is."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bandswithgoats
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2014
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Pity there are only a few Sheep cards in Magic the Gathering...

I could have made a Commander Shepard deck.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SunBorne187
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 25 2017
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Easter gatherings gave many opportunities, this was the best.

My mother: Does my jacket smell like mothballs to you?

Uncle: I don't know, have you ever smelled mothballs?

Mother: yes they're terrible!

Uncle: really? how did you get them to spread their legs?

Nearly choked on my funeral potatoes.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/panthermilk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 28 2016
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Gathering cones

So, I'm the coach of my daughter's soccer team. After a tournament, we had to do our share of the clean up and they told us to gather all of the cones set up on the fields. I turned to few girls on the team and said:

"I guess you could say that we're CONEsolidating."

... I wonder why my daughter doesn't want me to coach next year.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Turkeymooses
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 25 2016
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Dad joked his own mom at a family gathering

My family was sitting around the table eating lunch and talking about how it's almost impossible to have true vacation time anymore. My grandma chucks in, "Your time is valuable." My dad immediately replies:

"Thyme is actually pretty inexpensive. Saffron, on the other hand, is quite valuable."

I love my dad.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/remake20
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 22 2015
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Birthday Gathering.

It's my birthday and my whole family is here, my dad asked what a certain food was and my mum said

"this is spelt"

And my dad just went "how's that spelt then?!"

A wave of groans from around the table.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Oysterchild
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 20 2014
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One time I was up a ladder gathering pawpaws...

... when the ladder fell away. I wrapped my arms around the trunk and slid all the way to the ground. The skin on my inside upper arms was grated off. When I told my dad, he was very unsympathetic. He said: "You know what falls out of pawpaw trees, don't you?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OverlordAlex
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 10 2013
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Family gathering joke

We were at a family gathering and we were opening presents for a birthday, and my cousin grabs the stool nearest to him to sit on. It's a one of those old cow-milking stools, and then this conversation goes down:

Cousin: why does this stool only have three legs? Uncle (cousin's dad): because the cow's got the udder!

Needless to say he was very proud of himself and there was a collective groan from everyone in the room.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/baldygator32
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11 2014
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Gotta love family gatherings

Back home yesterday preparing the supper.

Dad pumps a fake shotgun, pulls a fake trigger whilst farting. But the fart was more of a quiet "pfft" so he says, "oh, had the silencer on."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BammaLamb
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2014
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At my last family gathering before I moved overseas...

....my grandfather was telling a story about how my sister used to sit on his right knee and my cousin would sit on his left knee. I then curiously asked "grandpa, where did I sit?" and he replied "Well of course adberq, you sat on my wee knee.".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/adberq
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 07 2013
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Every time we have a family gathering my dad says this...

Dinner time and artichokes are on the table.... Me: what are these things Dad: artichokes Me:why are they called artichokes? Dad:well they may choke ardy but they ain't choke me!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bry2013
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 02 2014
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Looking forward to the Fall, when I can make serious money gathering leaves..

..Raked it in last year.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 15 2020
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