So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
... One of them isn’t Happy.
I went to play station 5
The lumberjack responded, “And you will dialogue.”
It's called Tallinn
Daughter, are you here? Son? Where is my brother? Is everyone here in this room with me now?
Yes Dad we're all here! Your entire family is here in this room!
Then why is the hallway light on?
We call it our Con Den session.
Vigil aunties.
It Scandinavian.
Is it called a vegetableing?
^^^^^instead ^^^^^of ^^^^^a ^^^^^meating
even I'm cringing at this one.
thats right, I went on A Bee See(ABC)
.. last year I raked it in.
“I didn’t know you spoke German!” he replied
Lettuce pray
"Once a pawn a time..."
There are thousands of snowflakes gathering in DC, crying because they lost the election and they can't con their way to victory.
A root of squares.
...and ends up on the Island of Trid. The people there are starving and explain to the pastor that it’s because whenever they try to harvest the fruit at the top of the mountain, the nasty giant comes out of his cave and boots them all back down the hill. This infuriates the pastor who then declares that tomorrow he will join them on their next attempt. The next day they all march up the mountain together, and sure enough, out comes the giant who proceeds to kick all of the locals back down the hill leaving only the new guy to gather fruit at his leisure. Finally, he stops and asks the giant, “Well, aren’t you going to knock me off the mountain?”. Shaking his head, the giant says, “Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids”.
They followed the guidance religiously.
Crowd funding
They have been Austriacized..
They’re supposed to isolate themselves from corvid nineteen.
It was just gathering dust
It was slimy pickings for dinner that evening.
But it wasn't for altruism of course, they all stood to make an enormous prophet.
A meat and eat!
I asked if it would be ok if they gathered their swords instead. She was not amused.
"I've rounded them up"
The leader donkey got shot and killed.
Ass-as-a-nation
I found the Sir conference.
... it sucked. All it did was gather dust.
I guess only small gatherings are allowed.
He hopes to make a bundle!
I had never met herbivore
At the Sir-conference
A Vegetableup
Did you hear about the Cockatiel that was trying to find a new home for his family? He zipped back and forth everywhere, but couldn't find a good spot anywhere. Then he came across a bear, sleeping flat of his back with his mouth wide open. Not recognizing what it was, he thought the bear's mouth would be the perfect spot for a nest. He gathered his family and they all got to work building a new home for themselves, but then the bear woke up. Realizing what was going on, he politely informed them that he couldn't let them nest in his mouth. He hated to do it, but it was quite the bird den to bear.
..Raked it in last year.
It was only gathering dust.
all it was doing was gathering dust
