Magic The Gathering Puns

"So I'll attack with these two guys."

"Okay. I'll take five."

"That's fine, but when you come back we need to figure out how much damage this is."

I could have made a Commander Shepard deck.

The lumberjack responded, “And you will dialogue.”

But Happiness is just not in the cards

Came up with this one myself. I learned today there is not a single card in Magic the Gathering named Happiness.

Whilst gathering food, they find a magical golden lamp. The Englishman says “rub the lamp!” They do, and a genie appears. “I only have three wishes to offer,” he says, “so I’ll give you one wish each.

The Englishman says, “I’d like to be living in a penthouse in London with £1,000,000 in my bank account.” His wish is granted.

The Scotsman says “I’d love to live in a renovated Scottish castle with £2,000,000 in my bank account.” His wish is granted.

The genie then turns to the Irishman: “And what do you wish for?” The Irishman says to the genie, “It’s getting a bit lonely here, can I have the other two back?”

Magic! The gathering.

We walked past the entrance where people were setting up for card game tournaments, including Magic: The Gathering. He stopped me and said completely deadpan, "This is where the magic happens."

My friend and I were playing Magic The Gathering (Card game), and we were talking about our previous games at a tournament that just happened couple days prior. He told me he lost a game due to a little mistake.

His exact words were "Man, I was so stupid. I mis-read it" I replied with "Well, if you mis-read it, theres a computer behind you." My friend then groaned... looked at me, and shook his head, while i laughed at my own joke.

ba dum, tsh!