What do you call a magician that has lost his magic?

Ian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSinkingShit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12
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What do you call a magician that smokes?

A wheezard.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uglarinn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08
🚨︎ report
What do you call a magician who smokes?

A wheez-ard

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Secretseacrits549
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about the Mexican Magician? He announced to his audience: "For my final illusion, I will make myself vanish on the count of three…"

"… UNO! DOS!" *POOF* And he vanished without a Tres.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
Where do magicians get quarters?

Cashiers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dothemagic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20
🚨︎ report
Magician: I can make anything disappear

Tom: *holding mug*
Do it to my tea

Magician: *waves hand*
Done

om: *holding cup*
It didn’t work...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01
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What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04
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What breed is the dog of a magician?

A labracadabrador

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RickWithCK
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22
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what do u call a magician who has lost their magic?

ian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fmlolika
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31
🚨︎ report
A magician walks up to a fisherman's booth.

The magician pulls a quarter from the fisherman's ear. The fisherman looks at the magician annoyed. The magician says can you do any better? The fisherman says sure and then pauses. The magician says annoyed "How are you going to start the trick. The fisherman just says... Pick a cod, any cod!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jolly2284
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dog magician

A labra-kadabra- dor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/seatheous
πŸ“…︎ May 27
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Why did the magician insult the dock?

He wanted to diss a pier

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πŸ‘€︎ u/steve_ideas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06
🚨︎ report
Why do magicians wear top hats?

So the audience can't see their hare!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05
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I laughed at the magician when he said he could make the entry way into a container..

Then he left and the door was ajar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12
🚨︎ report
A magician stood in front of a crowd and claimed that he could disappear. He counted, β€œUno..dos..” and was suddenly gone.

He disappeared without a tres.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeopardusMaximus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
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A Spanish magician prepares the audience for his final trick...

He yells "UNO!"

The crowd falls silent in anticipation.

"DOS!"

Everyone's eyes are wide, laser focused on the preformer.

Then, the magician vanishes... without a tres.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewyNutCluster
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
Here’s a magic joke for you: A magician was driving down a street.

Then he turned into a driveway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fadedmaroon
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
What does a magician do when they're cold?

The same trick twice.

"Is this your cardigan?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ahmy123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
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I’ll never forget the Mexican magician. He counted, β€œUno...dos...”

Then disappeared without a tres.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BornOfAVegan
πŸ“…︎ May 25
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What do you call a magician that's lost his magic?

An Ian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MemeLordsUnited
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
A Mexican magician said that he could disappear on the count of three. He started "unos, dos.."

But then he disappeared without a tres...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
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I’m the most loved magician at the chocolate factory.

I always have a couple of Twix up my sleeves

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smok000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
There was a Mexican magician who said "I will disappear on the count of 3"! The crowd was silent. He began to count. "Uno... Dos...

and the magician disappeared, with out a trace.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NYRion7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the rubbish magician?

He couldn’t pull a rabbit out a hat but he could pull a hare out his arse

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thestrongestjew
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
so there was a magician...

I was at this spanish magic show last week

the magician got very serious all of a sudden and started counting:

uno...

dos...

and then he disappeared without a tres.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Linux_is_awesome
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
A magician was driving down the road

Then he turned into a driveway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBackstreetNet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
What do you get when a magician loses his magic?

Ian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcpat21
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
🚨︎ report
My friend has been learning magic as a quarantine hobby. I present to you: my oc list of magician jokes and puns I invented to annoy him.

Did you hear about the magician who grabbed Eminem so hard his SnapBack fell off?

He pulled a rabbit out of his hat

What do you call a magician who is an administrator at a college, but nobody knows what students he is in charge of?

Whose dean’s he?

A magician went out to the store and bought a big metal structure so he could hang upside down and do situps. He also loved painting, but because of his style he often knocked the canvas around while dabbing on the paint. So he bought another, wooden structure, like an easel, but with clamps to hold the painting in place while he prodded it with the paintbrush. His wife asked, as he brought them in, what the hell he had just bought. He replied:

β€œAb rack and dab rack”

What do you call a magician with very skinny fingers?

Slight of hand

The magician’s wife brought him to the store to buy gifts for a birthday party. She picked out a lovely candle, but wanted to include a nice note. The magician knew just what to do. He broug

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nsk09003
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
If you want to know what a magician uses to brush his teeth...

...just wait until bed time, Oral-B revealed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ron_mcphatty
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
My friend's a candy magician.

He's always got a few Twix up his sleeve.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pfheonix
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
What does a magician say when hiding a dead body?

Abracadaver!

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sonicxwwe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dead magician?

Abra cadaver!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pushingnumbers
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
What did the Spanish speaking magician say right before he performed his vanaishing trick?

"Uno, dos..."

And then POOF! He disappeared.

Without a tres.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/finestjuggler
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Magician: I can make anything disappear

Punchline:

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nihilman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
🚨︎ report
A magician once said he could make a tiger disappear but only transformed it into a tabby cat...

It was a sleight exaggeration.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
Not everyone knows this, but 50 Cent is actually a magician.

He says that 'he got the magic stick'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlumeHound9
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
What do you call a magician dog?

A Labra-cadabra-dor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Satolah
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three.

Uno, dos... poof. He disappeared without a tres.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YeetusAFeetus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the magician say to the fisherman?

Pick a cod! Any cod!

My coworker dropped this on me

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearinthegarden14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who died at the same instant a magician made a woman disappear?

Second hand smoke and mirrors kills.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
The Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three

He disappeared without a tres

πŸ‘︎ 179
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BMoney8600
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a magician write his errands down on?

A Ta-Da List

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roy-Donk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
A balding magician had an act where he'd put a rabbit on his head and make it disappear...

The hare vanished into thin hair.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Husband was in peak dad form today: What do you call a mathematician magician?

Criss Angle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BruhNana13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a magician eat when they are a little hungry?

A slight of ham

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vagabondsadhu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My magician friend used to have a part of his act where he saws a donkey in half...

It was a half-assed attempt at magic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dead magician?

Abra-cadaver

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NZn3rd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a magician makes a wrong turn?

Miss direction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/duckparrot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican magician?

He counted uno.... dos... then he disappeared without a tres

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gajakunne
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the gay magician?

He disappaered with a poof.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PenguinNibble
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, β€œUno, Dos..” *Poof*...

He disappeared without a Tres.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SketchMasterL
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the magician say to the blueberry?

β€œI’ll disappear before your berry eyes!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattBatz1991
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a magician like on his pasta?

Presto sauce.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/creepy_pie31
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a Jawa's favorite magician?

Houdini!!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a zombie magician say?

Abra-cadaver

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do Stage Magicians and Confused Navigators have in common?

Misdirections.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastGhost18
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican magician?

He said β€œfor my next trick, I will disappear on the count of three. Uno, dos -” but then he vanished without aΒ tres.

πŸ‘︎ 191
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saccadin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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What happened to the criminal magician who ate to much salt?

Cardiac arrest

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chtili
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Magician: With a wave of my hand, i can make anything dissapear.

Tom: holding mug do it to my tea.

Magician: waves hand Done.

om: It didn't work...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tj2600
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
So there was this Mexican magician..

He said he could make himself disappear by the count of three. He said uno, dos and then POOF he vanished without a tres

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πŸ‘€︎ u/therealjeanius
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the magician fail in his exam of magic tricks?

Because trick questions were asked in the exam.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pabesh17
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I come from a family of failed magicians.

I've got two half sisters.

πŸ‘︎ 135
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tamizander
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A Mexican magician told his audience that he would vanish on the count of 3. Uno, dos and he disappeared without a tres...
πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mattasaurusrrex
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad told me this: A Spanish magician went up on stage he said to the crowd I am gonna disappear on the count of 3, Uno, Dos then he disappeared without a trace
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KirbyThings
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schaefy_
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm a bus driver who's a part-time magician and my most popular trick is when I slam on the breaks

People fall over for it.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ninthpower
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My balding magician friend has come up with a new trick.

He vanished into thin hair.

πŸ‘︎ 104
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A Spanish magician told everyone he would disappear.

He said "uno, dos..." and then disappeared without a tres.

πŸ‘︎ 151
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Minch2000
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
🚨︎ report
A Spanish magician was preforming a magic trick he counted to three in Spanish uno dos and he was gone without a tres
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/benjernon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
There was a Mexican magician. He said he was gonna disappear at the count of 3. He goes β€œuno, dos... poof!”

He disappeared without a tres.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/carabez1228
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
If you have a half-brother or sister your dad is a magician.

They saw people in half all the time.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dog magician

A labracadabrador

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-umop-apisdn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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There's a magician who can fold even the highest-quality guitars in half.

He's known as "the Fender bender".

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thelionmermaid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A magician pulls a calzone out of his hat

"Sorry I only know pizza parlor tricks".

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SimJWill
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the Spanish magician?

He said, β€œOn the count of three, I will disappear!” β€œUno!” β€œDos!” And then he vanished, without a tres!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PityNoodz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do magicians find Viagra so effective?

It's great for missed erection!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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I'm an ice magician but do you know why i chose ice?

Because it's cooler than the others

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jadmonti
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a magician in Texas the other day. His name was...

Howdini

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skystrike7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My magician friend is really excited about his new trick, where he tries to pack himself into a small suitcase.

He can hardly contain himself.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the magician have a candy bar on his shirt?

He needed a couple of twix up his sleeve

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
A magician preformed a trick where he magically splashed colors all over a blank white shirt

And after he preformed his tricked he ended by saying β€œtie-dye”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
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So there was this magician.....

He pulled a rabbit out of his hat. The crowd was silent... He pulled another rabbit out of his hat The crowd gave him nothing. Flustered, the magician pulled another rabbit out of his hat. This time the crowd went nuts!!!

Guess he finally got himself a hat-trick!

(A hat-trick is the achievement of a positive feat for the third consecutive time)

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bang-a-lore
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?

Ian

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/larrydavid1987
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31
🚨︎ report
What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?

Ian

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jamesallen1977
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
What do you call a magician who has lost his magic?

Ian.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04
🚨︎ report
What do you call a magician that has lost their magic?

Ian.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/illthinkofonel8er
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Magician with no Magic

Ian

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
What do you call a magician that lost his magic?

ian.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chicomagnifico
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Magician who has lost his magic?

Ian

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buggywoxx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/single_dad_of_2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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Magician: I can make anything disappear

Magician: I can make disappear

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackDragon6549
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says β€œUno, dos,” *poof*

...he disappeared without a tres

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TroyMcClure8184
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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A Mexican magician said,

β€œI will disappear on the count of three! Uno...dos...”

And he disappeared without a tres.

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Chard
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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