A Mexican magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3.

He says, β€œuno, dos..” and then POOF he disappeared without a tres…

πŸ‘︎ 678
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ParadoxXSchock
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Magician: Hello, I can make everything disappear

Tom: Make my tea disappear Magician: Okay I will Om: Youβ€˜re not a good magician, my teaβ€˜s still here.

πŸ‘︎ 134
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeje17j
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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(OC) Why do magicians not use horses in their acts?

Because they aren’t just difficult, they are neigh impossible!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/faux_real_yo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. β€œUno” β€œDos”

And then he vanished, without a tres.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cookiesncream6969
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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What do you call a Magician without magic?

Ian

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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A magician was driving down the street

and then he turned into a driveway.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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If you have something urgent to say to your magician friend who you can only communicate with via mail...

You better use a Penn & Teller

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rustyironbuckets
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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A Spanish-speaking magician announced that would disappear on the count of three. "Uno...dos...." POOF!

He disappeared without a tres.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A pun or two about magicians and their antics

Person 1: What is your opinion on that one classic pulling the bunny out of the hat trick?

Person 2: I think raises some hare-raising questions.

P1: How so?

P2: It just begs the question of how it affects the rabbits themselves. After all, the magicians were pulling them out without a carrot the world.

P1: You raise at interesting point.

P2: We all know it's because of the secret compartment, you know? And, to minimize the suspiciousness of the hat, the compartment is as small as possible?

P1: Yes

P2: It must be very uncomfurtable to be in that space, and then be grabbed by the ears and raised high in front of a crowd. Like, don't get me wrong, I love magic tricks, but I wand to specify that i honestly feel that this trick in particular is quite inhumane.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirZbear
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?

Ian

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamesallen1977
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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My dad is a corn magician

His act is a-maize-ing

It really pops

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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What do you get when a russian black-magician tries to cook canadian food?

You get a ras***poutine***

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_roh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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What do you call a magician who's lost his magic ?

Ian.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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A magician walked down a road

And then turned into a driveway.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JHarrison2901
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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A magician was driving down the street when BOOM!

He turned into a driveway.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VintageVitaminJ
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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What do you call a dog magician?

A Labra-cadabra-dor retriever!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zeagan3346
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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Did you hear the one about the Mexican Magician? He announced to his audience: "For my final illusion, I will make myself vanish on the count of three…"

"… UNO! DOS!" *POOF* And he vanished without a Tres.

πŸ‘︎ 285
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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My dad was a great magician when I was younger

He went out for cigarettes and disappeared

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/susaustralia
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Did you hear about the magician who got angry?

He pulled out his hare.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArbitraryAlex
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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What do you call a magician that smokes?

A wheezard.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uglarinn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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Why Do Magicians Make Good High School Teachers?

They already know all of the trick questions.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AstrosAtoZ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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Why didn't the magician have any cards?

He wore the wrong suit.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snorlax260
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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How many magicians does it take to pull a rabbit out of a hat?

One. It's a trick question.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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What do you call a magician who smokes?

A wheez-ard

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Secretseacrits549
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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What happened to the magician who was driving down the street?

He turned into a driveway.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keladelph
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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Magician: I can make anything disappear

Tom: *holding mug*
Do it to my tea

Magician: *waves hand*
Done

om: *holding cup*
It didn’t work...

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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A Mexican magician said he will disappear on the count of three

Uno.... Dos..... Poof

He disappeared without a tres

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/growupyall
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do magicians get quarters?

Cashiers

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dothemagic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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A magician stood in front of a crowd and claimed that he could disappear. He counted, β€œUno..dos..” and was suddenly gone.

He disappeared without a tres.

πŸ‘︎ 304
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeopardusMaximus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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What do you call a dog magician

A labra-kadabra- dor

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seatheous
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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What is a magician called when he loses magic?

Ian

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lafilafi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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A magician asked me to pick a card any card

So I took his credit card and left.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rancherrick
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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What breed is the dog of a magician?

A labracadabrador

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RickWithCK
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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Here’s a magic joke for you: A magician was driving down a street.

Then he turned into a driveway.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fadedmaroon
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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what do u call a magician who has lost their magic?

ian.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fmlolika
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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Why did the magician insult the dock?

He wanted to diss a pier

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/steve_ideas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
(OC) Why do magicians not use horses in their acts?

Because they aren’t just difficult, they are neigh impossible!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/faux_real_yo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A Spanish-speaking magician announced that he would disappear on the count of three. "Uno...dos..." POOF!!

He disappeared without a tres.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a magician that has lost his magic?

Ian

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSinkingShit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/peengwen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?

Ian

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/larrydavid1987
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chennai_buzzer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a magician who has lost his magic?

Ian.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a magician that has lost their magic?

Ian.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/illthinkofonel8er
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Magician with no Magic

Ian

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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