My landlord texted saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied back: “Sure, my door is always open.”
I draw celebfoodies— celebs combined with foods their names sound like. Meet Scoop Dogg, pun intended.
I got to meet the tallest man in the world last week.
I was disappointed by how he looked down on everyone else.
Tomorrow, I get to meet Phil Collins
I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life
When a Muslim dies, they meet their Mecca.
In other news...the Seven Dwarfs have been advised that they can only meet in groups of six.
They say for this Christmas we can meet up with 8 people without any problems
I don’t know 8 people without problems
Due to all the COVID restrictions this year, a maximum of only 6 of the 7 dwarves could meet up
None of them were Happy :-(
When you meet someone with the same name as you!
Two antennas meet on a rooftop and decided to get married
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
I meet guy with a deer on the end of each arm.
Daughters boyfriend introduced himself to me he said "Hi sir I'm david, nice to meet you".
He put out his hand and I said "David are you nervous?" He said no so I grabbed his hand looked him in the eyes and said "then why are you shaking?"
Why did the vegetable never meet his father?
Because he had a dead beet dad.
My Caribbean mate never seems too bothered when we arrange to meet up;
I think he might be from the 'K Man' islands
A group of people meet up and eat together every night. But they do not talk about it.
They are part of the bite club
What do French fries do when they meet?
They Ketchup....
I wish I had some fries now
Upon seeing a gorgeous girl at the party, I knew I had to meet her. So I approached and told her about a special-purpose ship designed to move and navigate through frozen waters, and provide safe waterways for other boats and ships.
I've used it before and it works. It's the perfect icebreaker.
Because of the pandemic the 7 dwarves have been told they can only meet in groups of 6...
One of them is not Happy!
Two books meet in a Library. One says ' You don't look too well ' and the other replies..
... Just had my Appendix removed.
Went to meet up with a guy selling a sprinkler yesterday.
I got hosed.
(Cheesy i know)
Public Service Announcement: In order to meet the energy budget for 2020....
the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
Thank you and have a nice day.
This is more than meets the eye.
A friend of mine always carries around a scale with him no matter where he goes. Anytime he meets a new person named William he throws them right on the scale. So one day I finally asked, "why do you keep doing this?" He replied.
"because where there's a Will there's a weigh."
A dad meets his friend on the street. “Have you met my daughter Beth?” “No, what’s Beth short for?”
“I don’t know, most three year olds aren’t that tall.”
What is it called when a duck meets another duck?
Hey kids for your online schooling do you prefer Google meet?...
There is a guy named Meet in my team.
I ran into Luke Combs today and I was talking to him about when I caught a 10 lb bass. He said I’m kinda in a hurry, nice to meet you tho.
So I told him it might not mean much to you but it does to me.
Obi wan and Anakin meet at a force ghost party.
Obi wan: Okay Anakin, answer this. Imagine, I am on a planet, very far away from yours. And I was out of range of all forms of communication.
Anakin: Okay...and?
Obi wan: And there was an urgent message, that you had to send me. How would you send it, when no messaging service would get to me?
Anakin: Simple. I would send it with sand. It gets everywhere.
You meet a man who has a phobia of noodles. What is he?
“Meat” you or “meet” you?
Dad: Years ago I had the opportunity to meet R.E.M., and we even took a picture together with my buddies.
Son: Where are you in the photo?
Dad: That's me in the corner.
Remember the good old days, before the pandemic? It used to be you could meet new people, maybe even fall in love and get married.
Now I’m just dating myself
The seven dwarves have been told they can meet in groups of 6 from Monday, in light of corona virus changes
Asked My Date To Meet Me At The Gym, But She Never Showed Up...
Guess the two of us aren’t going to work out
Two fortune tellers meet on the street.
One says to the other, “You’re fine, how am I?”
found this on r/blursedimages. Meet Vlad the Inhaler
Lion - You're late, I said meet you at sunset.
Giraffe - I can still see the sun.
I mistook a statue for the person you told me to meet at the park.
After a while, I realized it wasn’t the monument.
In the latest news... the Seven Dwarves have been advised that as of today, they can only meet in groups of six.
One of them is not Happy.
Two books meet up in a Library. One says, ' You don't look too well ' and the other replies..
.. just had my Appendix removed.
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