Bill Gates meets Arnold Schwarzenneger at a party and asks him if he's upgraded to Windows 10 yet? Big Arnie replies.......
"Ah still love Vista Baby....."
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Mar 22 2021
My date was supposed meet me at the gym but they didn't show up.
That's when I knew we weren't going to work out.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Feb 08 2021
I met Bono the other week and I said it was nice to meet him
he said "yeah, you too"
edited for spelling
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 07 2021
It is so hot in my city that I decided to meet my ex
She gave me a cold shoulder.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Mar 28 2021
My landlord texted saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied back: βSure, my door is always open.β
π︎ 21k
π
︎ Oct 27 2020
I like to meet my girlfriend at 12:59
It's important to get that one-to-one time.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 03 2021
I once took a trip to Seattle on a plane in which the stewards only served candy made when peanut butter meets milk chocolate...
I don't know how far this Reese eating airline goes...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 18 2021
Most of the attractive, single women I meet, are divorced...
π︎ 13
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
So I brought my girlfriend home to meet my parents. She looks like my mum, sounds like my mum, even dresses like my mum..
π︎ 16
π
︎ Mar 16 2021
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 05 2021
My friend asked me to meet him at the music store in 45.
I got there in 33, which is record speed.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Feb 20 2021
Where do clothespins meet?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
I got to meet the tallest man in the world last week.
I was disappointed by how he looked down on everyone else.
π︎ 54
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
I told my date to meet me at the gym, but she didnβt show up.
I guess this means we canβt work out.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 16 2021
Tomorrow, I get to meet Phil Collins
Iβve been waiting for this moment all my life
π︎ 44
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
When a Muslim dies, they meet their Mecca.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
Daughters boyfriend introduced himself to me he said "Hi sir I'm david, nice to meet you".
He put out his hand and I said "David are you nervous?" He said no so I grabbed his hand looked him in the eyes and said "then why are you shaking?"
π︎ 28k
π
︎ Mar 07 2020
In other news...the Seven Dwarfs have been advised that they can only meet in groups of six.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
When you meet someone with the same name as you!
π︎ 219
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
Two antennas meet on a rooftop and decided to get married
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
π︎ 66
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
They say for this Christmas we can meet up with 8 people without any problems
I donβt know 8 people without problems
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 20 2020
Due to all the COVID restrictions this year, a maximum of only 6 of the 7 dwarves could meet up
None of them were Happy :-(
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
Why did the vegetable never meet his father?
Because he had a dead beet dad.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
I meet guy with a deer on the end of each arm.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
My Caribbean mate never seems too bothered when we arrange to meet up;
I think he might be from the 'K Man' islands
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
Two books meet in a Library. One says ' You don't look too well ' and the other replies..
... Just had my Appendix removed.
π︎ 616
π
︎ May 30 2020
I wHannah meet him.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Feb 07 2020
More Than meets The Eye
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Feb 25 2020
Knife to meet you.
π︎ 52
π
︎ Jun 13 2020
Because of the pandemic the 7 dwarves have been told they can only meet in groups of 6...
One of them is not Happy!
π︎ 44
π
︎ Sep 03 2020
Upon seeing a gorgeous girl at the party, I knew I had to meet her. So I approached and told her about a special-purpose ship designed to move and navigate through frozen waters, and provide safe waterways for other boats and ships.
I've used it before and it works. It's the perfect icebreaker.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
A group of people meet up and eat together every night. But they do not talk about it.
They are part of the bite club
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
This is more than meets the eye.
π︎ 111
π
︎ Jun 11 2020
Nice to meet you
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Nov 05 2019
Public Service Announcement: In order to meet the energy budget for 2020....
the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
Thank you and have a nice day.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
Went to meet up with a guy selling a sprinkler yesterday.
I got hosed.
(Cheesy i know)
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Oct 19 2019
A dad meets his friend on the street. βHave you met my daughter Beth?β βNo, whatβs Beth short for?β
βI donβt know, most three year olds arenβt that tall.β
π︎ 30
π
︎ Sep 19 2020
A friend of mine always carries around a scale with him no matter where he goes. Anytime he meets a new person named William he throws them right on the scale. So one day I finally asked, "why do you keep doing this?" He replied.
"because where there's a Will there's a weigh."
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
What is it called when a duck meets another duck?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
βMeatβ you or βmeetβ you?
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jul 08 2019
There is a guy named Meet in my team.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 27 2020
Hey kids for your online schooling do you prefer Google meet?...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 17 2020
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didnβt show up.
That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Feb 06 2021
In the latest news... the Seven Dwarves have been advised that as of today, they can only meet in groups of six.
One of them is not Happy.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Oct 19 2020
Two books meet up in a Library. One says, ' You don't look too well ' and the other replies..
.. just had my Appendix removed.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
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