I went to the first meeting of my premature ejaculator’s support group this morning..

Turns out it’s tomorrow.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jo3p-
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Day 7: What did the windmill say meeting her favourite celebrity

OMFG IM A HUUUGE FAN

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pizzatron574
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
What are the chances of meeting Eminem?

Very Slim

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M_OrangeJu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
He missed his next meeting unfortunately
πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lams1d
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Everything at the AA meeting was going fine

Until Jesus went to go get a glass of water

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hoodie1240
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are people in Moscow always so early to meetings?

Because they're Russian to them!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a gay business meeting?

A Mandate :3

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rabbitsdiedaily
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The first annual meeting of camouflage club was a disaster.

It looks like no one showed up.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Se7enineteen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My 1st meeting

Went to my 1st Rotary club meeting.. surprisingly has nothing to do with old phones..

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scouter1973
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Are you ready for the upcoming Zoom meeting?

Not even remotely.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/freakinana
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The meeting was at 8 and I was 10 minutes late, so I couldn't 8:10 the meeting.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Retro_Code
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
This is an AA meeting.....
πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acadiel
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...

He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."

"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."

So they did.

Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.

And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.

πŸ‘︎ 21k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting /r/Jokes/comments/iya4l4/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProCreeper_2000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
"We're here to offer support, not to grill you," they said at my review meeting.

"Like a bra, not a braai"

  • Based on true events. I had to stop myself from blurting that out.

  • Thanks to u/rumbustiousben for reminding me that not everyone knows what a braai is - it's a barbecue in Afrikaans and commonly used as part of English by South Africans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wcsoon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the broom late for the meeting?

It overswept.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cumsock17
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My co-worker Nicholas is rarely late for work meetings, but it often shows up within 2 minutes of the meeting start time

I guess he likes to show up in the nick of time.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I had to reschedule a work meeting today to bring my son to the orthodontist. My coworker said she was thinking the same thing because she has to visit the dentist.

I told her that was quite coinciDENTAL.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Promiscuous_D8a
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the local Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting last night

but all the seats were taken.

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are Narwhals good at meeting new friends?

They are great at breaking the ice

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emeri5
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone was excited about the Autopsy Club meeting...

It was open Mike night.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrivateTumbleweed
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What bacteria like to have political meetings?

Strepto-caucus.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elivesay83
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I was a heavy drinker until I went to AA meetings

Well, now I am still a drinker but at least I lost some weight

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/milk-is-bad
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why should you stay calm when meeting a hungry cannibal?

Because it's no good getting in a stew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YaBoi245
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My butt fell asleep during a meeting today.

Now it’s going to be up all night.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoilerBear1971
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
At our PTA meeting, my son's teacher said he's the best she's ever seen at using Elmer's...

She said he's a glue-ru.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm a drinker and I started to go to AA meetings

Now I have no idea who I drink with

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhyNotNowANL
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you do after you take a break from your online meeting?

You re-zoom it

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samantha_pants
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
In the early days of Tesla, they had difficulties getting the CEO to show up on time to meetings, so they trained a puppy to find him and bark until he arrived...

...all they had to say was "get Elon little doggie".

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
AA meeting
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I showed up late to the Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting.

Needless to say, all the seats were already taken.

πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does the Prime Minister keep all his meetings post noon?

Because he is a PM, not an AM

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oldgenmemelord
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Because of meeting cancellations due to Corona ...

the local origami society has folded.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zuckerschneggle
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
AA Meeting
πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Expre55o
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I met a fish and the meeting went pretty well. I told him I would like to meet him again, but it got upset and swam away.

I guess, "I'll catch you later" wasn't the right phrase.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manantyagi25
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Atheist say upon dying and meeting God?

Well I’ll be damned.

πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
The other dads in my Zoom meeting today may have been a bit jealous. I mentioned how my adolescent daughter has been so generous and nice during quarantine while I use the family computer for work, instead of her wasting time all day, watching YouTube. I have to say,

I'm glad to have the no-vid kind teen.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxUsernameMichael
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I showed up at the weekly Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting...

...but all the seats were already taken.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened to the sea after meeting the ocean?

It blue up.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chanureadeats
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.

We call it our Con Den session.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Allgen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
AA meeting
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trabe39
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2017
🚨︎ report
Why don’t Horses get invited to board meetings?

Because nobody likes a nay-sayer.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Groundhogsrule
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
They should have a follow-up to the G-7 meeting called the C Major Summit.

Maybe that will resolve things.

(Not OC but I saw it on FB and it was new to me)

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_awesome365
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
This morning I went to a meeting of my premature ejaculators’ support group

But it turns out that it’s tomorrow

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the broom late for the meeting?

It overswept.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NYRion7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone was excited about the Autopsy Club meeting...

It was open open Mike night.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrivateTumbleweed
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the broom late for the meeting?

He overswept.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report

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