I'm trying to get better at making jokes from blending words together, but all my attempts turn out bad
Despite all my effort, I can't produce more than a poormansteau at best
How can I get someone to hang out with me, laugh at each other’s jokes, and maybe share some fun platonic experiences together throughout our lives?
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, “Dad get out of the way!”
I said, “You’re the ones blocking!”
What do you get when you cross a bear and a mountain lion together?
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, “Get out. We don’t serve rope in here.” So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”
The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
My Wife told our kids they need to get their acts together.
I asked if it would be ok if they gathered their swords instead. She was not amused.
I wanted to get a poker game together for my birthday,
But with COVID I don’t think it’s in the cards.
A momma shower and a daddy shower get together....
And that’s how baby showers are made
[Request] Right now we're all drinking Quarantinis. What will we drink when we get back together?
My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together. Man I sure am lucky !
I mean, first I win the lottery and now this
My friends and I like to get together and play polo with our Rams, Challengers, Chargers and Darts...
Dodge ball can become dangerous, but it's fun.
Every year on July 4th a group of ants get together inside a pen and have a dancing party.
It's "In the Pen Dance Day"!
How do you get a murder of crows to stick together?
What do you call two cows who get together once in a while?
Me and some other guys like to get together at the local supermarket to show off our rare breed black-feathered chickens. New guy today mustn't have understood because...
There was an unexpected white hen in the bragging area
I was trying to get the rent for this month together, but my wife kept showing me clips from 60 Minutes...
I should have known she'd try to Stahl...
A yearly tradition, my family gets together and everyone rides in a wagon thru the city, saying "hello" to all people on the street...
My favorite way to get together with old friends is over burgers
I like to meat and ketchup
I don't get it, Catholic Woman-Sticks Held Together by Chain?
What do you get when you rub two oranges together?
Two photographer friends of mine went on a date together and immediately decided to get into a relationship. My other friends found this really weird but I think those two just
clicked with one another really well.
How long does it take for 2 people dating to get back together after a fight?
A golf buddy of mine is having a get together tonight.
It’s gonna be quite the par-tee.
My friend and I make dad jokes when we get together, but neither of us are dads.
We're just social faux pas.
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
We should get all the ex-USSR states back together
Then we could have a Soviet re-Union
What do you get when two ants run away together?
What do you call it when a bunch of communists get together after a long separation?
What do you get when you smash two candy bars together?
You've got yourself a Portmanteaublerone!
A plumber couldn't get two pipes to fit together...
So he checked the plumbing thread.
What do you get when you put a joke with no punchline and a rhetorical question together?
What do you get when you put 100 innocent people together?
What do you get is you smash two chili's together
I hope to get buried together with a book
So that I’ll get book worms
What happens when a bunch of columns get together ?
My pregnant cousin was leaving our easter get together.
Father "pats pregnant cousins belly": you're gonna make like a baby and head out?
What do you get when you add two kind, clean fractions together? The
SO and I were browsing reddit together, and we saw a picture of an owl getting scritched. She asked if we could get an owl.
I said, "Owl see."
Cue eye rolling from her.
Grandpa told everyone this story at our Easter get together today
So everyone was talking and Grandpa said he had a good story to tell us. He said he was talking to someone when he was out shopping and she asked him how long he and Grandma were married, so he lets her know - 57 years. The woman is surprised and asks him how they stayed married so long, and he said "Well we couldn't get a divorce, because neither one of us wanted custody of the kids."
My dad needs to get his life together.
https://i.imgur.com/5hAoPe2.jpg
What do you get when you roll two prisms together?
Where do geese call to get tips on how to fly together?
What do you get when you put 8 drill bits together?
[Meta] Get your shit together, /r/dadjokes
This sub started out so great. It was a place with funny dad jokes and silly stories about horrible jokes that dads have made to clerks or waiters or whoever. Now this place might as well just be /r/jokes or /r/punny because that's all that ever gets posted here.
It seems that in every comment section of any post, somebody will make a joke and the top reply just says "/r/dadjokes" so I think that is what is contributing to this decrease in quality (unless I'm just imagining it, but I've seen a vocal section of you who complain too)
So can we try to get back to what this sub used to be? I don't really know what could be done, but I'm sure our moderator(s) can make a new rule or something
What do you get when you put 50 deer and 50 female pigs in a pen together?
A hundred sows and bucks!
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