How can I get someone to hang out with me, laugh at each otherβs jokes, and maybe share some fun platonic experiences together throughout our lives?
π︎ 620
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
What do you get when you cross a bear and a mountain lion together?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, βDad get out of the way!β
I said, βYouβre the ones blocking!β
π︎ 16k
π
︎ Jun 27 2020
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, βGet out. We donβt serve rope in here.β So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, βHey! Arenβt you the rope that I just threw out?β
The rope replied, βNo. Iβm a frayed knot.β
π︎ 12k
π
︎ May 27 2020
My Wife told our kids they need to get their acts together.
I asked if it would be ok if they gathered their swords instead. She was not amused.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
I wanted to get a poker game together for my birthday,
But with COVID I donβt think itβs in the cards.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 07 2020
A momma shower and a daddy shower get together....
And thatβs how baby showers are made
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 26 2020
[Request] Right now we're all drinking Quarantinis. What will we drink when we get back together?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 22 2020
My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together. Man I sure am lucky !
I mean, first I win the lottery and now this
π︎ 174
π
︎ Mar 23 2020
My friends and I like to get together and play polo with our Rams, Challengers, Chargers and Darts...
Dodge ball can become dangerous, but it's fun.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 30 2020
Every year on July 4th a group of ants get together inside a pen and have a dancing party.
It's "In the Pen Dance Day"!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 04 2020
How do you get a murder of crows to stick together?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 09 2020
What do you call two cows who get together once in a while?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 06 2020
Me and some other guys like to get together at the local supermarket to show off our rare breed black-feathered chickens. New guy today mustn't have understood because...
There was an unexpected white hen in the bragging area
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 11 2020
A yearly tradition, my family gets together and everyone rides in a wagon thru the city, saying "hello" to all people on the street...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 24 2019
My favorite way to get together with old friends is over burgers
I like to meat and ketchup
π︎ 35
π
︎ Nov 07 2019
I don't get it, Catholic Woman-Sticks Held Together by Chain?
π︎ 45
π
︎ Dec 09 2018
What do you get when you rub two oranges together?
π︎ 615
π
︎ Jun 03 2018
How long does it take for 2 people dating to get back together after a fight?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 25 2019
A golf buddy of mine is having a get together tonight.
Itβs gonna be quite the par-tee.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 11 2019
Two photographer friends of mine went on a date together and immediately decided to get into a relationship. My other friends found this really weird but I think those two just
clicked with one another really well.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jun 21 2019
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 31 2019
My friend and I make dad jokes when we get together, but neither of us are dads.
We're just social faux pas.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 02 2018
We should get all the ex-USSR states back together
Then we could have a Soviet re-Union
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 16 2019
What do you get when two ants run away together?
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 31 2019
What do you call it when a bunch of communists get together after a long separation?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 22 2018
What do you get when you smash two candy bars together?
You've got yourself a Portmanteaublerone!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 16 2018
A plumber couldn't get two pipes to fit together...
So he checked the plumbing thread.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 11 2018
What do you get when you put a joke with no punchline and a rhetorical question together?
π︎ 28
π
︎ Apr 20 2018
What do you get is you smash two chili's together
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 10 2018
What do you get when you put 100 innocent people together?
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 09 2017
I hope to get buried together with a book
So that Iβll get book worms
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 01 2018
What do you get when you add two kind, clean fractions together? The
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 16 2019
What happens when a bunch of columns get together ?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 18 2018
My pregnant cousin was leaving our easter get together.
Father "pats pregnant cousins belly": you're gonna make like a baby and head out?
π︎ 245
π
︎ Apr 05 2015
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 22 2018
Grandpa told everyone this story at our Easter get together today
So everyone was talking and Grandpa said he had a good story to tell us. He said he was talking to someone when he was out shopping and she asked him how long he and Grandma were married, so he lets her know - 57 years. The woman is surprised and asks him how they stayed married so long, and he said "Well we couldn't get a divorce, because neither one of us wanted custody of the kids."
π︎ 18
π
︎ Apr 01 2018
My dad needs to get his life together.
https://i.imgur.com/5hAoPe2.jpg
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 02 2018
What do you get when you roll two prisms together?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jan 01 2018
Where do geese call to get tips on how to fly together?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 07 2018
What do you get when you put 8 drill bits together?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Feb 07 2017
[Meta] Get your shit together, /r/dadjokes
This sub started out so great. It was a place with funny dad jokes and silly stories about horrible jokes that dads have made to clerks or waiters or whoever. Now this place might as well just be /r/jokes or /r/punny because that's all that ever gets posted here.
It seems that in every comment section of any post, somebody will make a joke and the top reply just says "/r/dadjokes" so I think that is what is contributing to this decrease in quality (unless I'm just imagining it, but I've seen a vocal section of you who complain too)
So can we try to get back to what this sub used to be? I don't really know what could be done, but I'm sure our moderator(s) can make a new rule or something
π︎ 45
π
︎ Oct 30 2013
What do you get when you put 50 deer and 50 female pigs in a pen together?
A hundred sows and bucks!
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 14 2017
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.