I was once offered the chance to join a secret club, where anyone who asks a question is permanently banned.

I said, "Sure, why not?"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
What do you call identical twins that join the police force?

Copies.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OlafThePeach
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
What made me join this sub v.redd.it/1qz0gp4ins761
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/12DollarBurrito
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?

Because it had drumsticks. B'boom tsh!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cruffmusic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Priest that joins a Karate Dojo?

Father-son

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LiamGTodMoc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
Why were Mary and Joseph not able to join a conference call?

Because there was no Zoom at the Inn!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CanAhJustSay
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a friend join at cult that believes when they die they become water vapor

I told him they will be mist

πŸ‘︎ 621
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamiestonee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear about the new Space Jam sequel where Marvin the Martian joins the Monstars, scores all of their points and they win it all?

You should check it out, it’s a really good Martian Scores’easy film

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AquamarineCheetah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Hugh Jackman is making a live action Frosty movie where he joins the circus!

It’s called The Greatest Snowman.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whaddayagondo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend want me to join him in hoarding

He says they have everything

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTreelo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I was excited to join the Autopsy Club

Wednesday’s are Open Mike Night.

πŸ‘︎ 134
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Formaldefortress
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to join the psychic police force

But I failed the vision test

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call your sister who joins ISIS?

BYE-SIS!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/poedan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother just had twins so I invited him to join the group.

He is now a Pa Pa

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Greystone_86
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when Onision joins reddit?

A predditor

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/monado_boii
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife says I should join a gym...

Over my dad body.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kinjesus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn’t the old man want to join the socialist party?

Because he was antisocial

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eagle4523
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My kid wanted to join the orchestra. I said "sorry, but you're way too young for that…"

"…it has a lot of sax and violins."

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PimplupXD
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Don’t join dangerous cults.

Practice Safe Sects.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RichNCrispy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What gangs would a vampire join?

the bloods or the crypts

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emeraldninja_yt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My son (3M) keeps asking if he can join the military.

When I tell him he's too young, he says he wants to join the infantry.

πŸ‘︎ 198
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mush_Tilly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
One time my friends really wanted me to join them for a fishing excursion. I didn't want to at first but eventually joined them...

I am afraid that I succumbed to pier pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone in a supermarket is eager to join the pun-community
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/llondru-es
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My son wanted to join a really expensive math college but he didn't have enough money...

I needed to cosine for him.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arickg
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the piece of poop try to join the Army?

He felt it was his patriotic doody!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the cow join NASA?

To go to the Moooooooooon

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AllTh1ngsAreONE
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I refuse to let my kids join orchestra.

I would hate for them to resort to violins.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SilentEdge
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did you guys join Reddit?

I Reddit was a good platform.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rmath12
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
r/dadjokes is recruiting moderators, join us!

Update: Thanks for all your applications! Give /u/parin89 and I a few days to take a look and confer!
(if you haven't put your application in yet, you've still got time)

-

Greetings /r/dadjokes subscribers,

Years have passed since this sub started up, and there are now literally millions of you. Whoa.

Two million people is just two many two handle for two moderators. Especially these days, when both /u/parin89 and I have two many other responsibilities and a whole lot less time. I'm 200% sure most of you would agree that more mods are needed.

So we're looking for 5 more moderators to get involved. If you're keen to apply, read the rest of this post and answer the three questions in your comment response.

Answer these 3 questions in your reply:

  1. How would you describe a dad joke?
  2. Do you currently moderate any other subreddits? If yes, which ones.
  3. You see a post that is not breaking the rules or reddit's posting guidelines, but is generally disliked by the community. What do you do?

Only apply if:

  • You're a reasonable, fair-minded and patient human
  • You're in it to keep this community a happy, friendly and safe place for other humans
  • You've got previous mod experience from a decent sized community (let's say... 5k+)
  • You're cool with the first few months being a trial run
  • You understand that while we could use more active moderation, and would benefit from a few more rules, one of the things that makes this community great is that it's pretty open (after all, dad jokes repeat a lot and not every "repost" is necessarily an opportunistic attempt to game karma)

We'd benefit from a few practical things as well, it would be great if:

  • You live in a timezone that covers off either the USA, the UK, Australia (we'd like a spread)
  • You've got some automod experience
  • You've got some sub-customisation experience

Don't apply if:

  • You're ready to come out swinging with a power tripping ban hammer
  • You're more concerned about Internet points than real people

We'll leave this stickied for a week and then come back to message a few people and make some selections.

πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tali3sin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
When I was a teenager, I wanted to join a pyramid scheme.

But my mummy wouldn't let me.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreatGreenGobbo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to join the debating team.

But somebody talked me out of it.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm inviting everyone to join me in a thought-session of Stephen King's iconic shape-shifting clown.

Come to think of IT.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ankit_dey
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What musical group do men join once they get married?

The Hus Band!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the reluctant knight finally decide to join the crusade?

The king offered him a free palace stein

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Y2KoNo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the accountant join a cult?

Because he found their compound interesting.

πŸ‘︎ 177
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dwayne_jetski69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the widow join a marathon?

It was her mourning run.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andeleidun
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What club do racist scientists join?

The Potassium Potassium Potassium

πŸ‘︎ 546
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unkempt_ROUS
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a knife that joins the track team?

Blade Runner

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theinfinitejaguar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
When you join r/puns and feel at home.
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LtDansBedPan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't decide whether to join the Bard's College or the Thieves Guild

I'll just have to weigh the prose and the cons.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of animal joins the military?

An army-dillo.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did Mr. Freeze want to join the Justice League?

He thought it was the Just-Ice League!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/El_Pollo_Diablo77
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Please join me in remembering my sister, she would have been 28 today.

But she was born overdue and her birthday is next week.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arcadianchef
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Join the fight against PunPatrol and join r/PunArmedForces
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/daweirdM
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Don't join dangerous cults.

Practice safe sects!

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadeauxmarie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report

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