I am thinking of pursuing a career in crowd estimation.
I wonder how many people are in that field.
i guess the crowd wasn't orderly orderly orderly though
Sitting around watching the birds crowd around the bird feeder,
My brother says, "Someone must have left a good Yelp review."
I said, "Yeah, somebody tweeted about it."
You know how they throw the ball into the crowd after they win the game?
Apparently, that's not allowed in bowling. I know that now.
A child in Egypt got separated from her mom in the crowd and was looking for her but got confused.
Because there were so many mummies.
But they can still draw a crowd
If two's company & three's a crowd, what are four & five?
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
I hope you scrolled past that.
A magician stood in front of a crowd and claimed that he could disappear. He counted, “Uno..dos..” and was suddenly gone.
He disappeared without a tres.
There's quite a crowd at the lego store
They are lined up for blocks.
The crowd doesn’t deserve MC-Dino...
Watching an Australian cooking show and the chef made some meringue and the crowd cheered!
Surprising since most Aussies like to boo meringue.
MC-Dino hopes the Reddit crowd gets him... 🥺
There was a Mexican magician who said "I will disappear on the count of 3"! The crowd was silent. He began to count. "Uno... Dos...
and the magician disappeared, with out a trace.
Did you hear about the crowds at the grand opening of the new Lego store?
People were lined up for blocks
With the barber shop finally open after many weeks, there was a huge crowd of people jostling for position to get in...
They really need a hair traffic controller.
My friend takes bets on who's the ugliest person in a crowd.
Trying to grab some toilet paper among the crowd at Costco was really traumatic.
After winning the game I decided to throw the ball into the crowd like they do on TV.
Apparently, that's unacceptable in bowling.
Another one for the IT crowd (if you got this, you are old - sorry)
What do you call a mattock that stands out from the crowd?
Why did the crowd throw ice at his majesty?
Someone shouted “All hail the king”
The crowd watched in suspense as the man attempted to scale the building whilst eating an apple
They feared he may have bitten off more than he could chew
A dadjoke set for the kindergarten crowd
If you ever end up having to entertain kids around kindergarten age (5 or 6 years old) here are some jokes you can use.
Write the letter Y on a board or piece of paper. Ask, "Can you tell me what this letter is?" and they'll say "Y", to which you respond, "Because I want to know how smart you are."
After a bit of back and forth you can look exasperated that they don't get it (when of course it is you who don't get it), then say, "Okay here's an easy one, can you tell me what this word is?" Write down the word NO and of course the kids will say "NO" and you can say, "You don't know what this word is?" or "You know what it is but you won't tell me?" Kids usually think it's hilarious that an adult can be this dense.
For kids who can spell words, you can use ones like "duck" and then when they say it you can duck as if something is coming at you.
My dad told me this: A Spanish magician went up on stage he said to the crowd I am gonna disappear on the count of 3, Uno, Dos then he disappeared without a trace
I saw a crowd of chess enthusiasts talking about how good they were when I was going into the theatre...
.... they were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
I always wanted a job estimating crowd sizes.
I wonder how many people are in that field.
I hate crowds, and just walked into a room full of married people.
Thankfully, there wasn’t a single person in there.
Polos versus Trebor mints, Polos score! And the whole crowd goes menthol
My friend went with a tour group to the capital of South Korea and got lost amongst the crowd...
It took a little Seoul searching, but he eventually found his way.
Why wouldn't the rock fan crowd surf at the concert?
He didn't want to get carried away.
I was the solo support act for minor local rock group, 'Nothing'. My set went terribly. I was out of tune, really nervous, the equipment was failing too. The crowd began to boo and leave in droves.
I said, "you ain't seen Nothing yet!"
A comedian told a bad joke so the crowd threw bread crumbs at him.
He took it with a grain assault.
We knew every one of the magician's tricks, and would announce the secret to the crowd
He got so angry at us, he puled his hare out.
What’s Captain Picard’s first instruction to his employees, in anticipation of the Friday evening crowds at a Mexican restaurant that he supervises?
“Make queso, number one.”
My band member was up in arms after being made to crowd surf.
A magician fooled a crowd by making it look like be shoved bamboo up his nose
Dadjoked the crowd at my brother's wedding.
So at the reception it was my turn to give a speech and it went like this:
"I'm going to start this off with a couple jokes. First, it was a rather emotional wedding right? I mean, my mom was crying, Charity was crying, hell even the cake was in tiers! (many groans throughout the crowd) Second joke, to some marriage is just a word, to others, a sentence."
Besides all the groaning in the crowd I looked at my dad and saw that he was laughing so hard that he turned red and had tears in his eyes, that's how I knew they were good quality dadjokes.
I am thinking of pursuing a job as a crowd estimator.
I wonder how many people are in that field.
I hate crowds, and just walked into a room full of married people.
Thankfully, there wasn’t a single person in there.
I’ve this irrational fear of crowds and I just walked into a room crammed with married people.
Thankfully there isn’t a single person in it.
I always think about getting a job estimating crowd sizes for different outdoor events.
I wonder how many people are in that field.
I’m thinking about pursuing a job as a crowd estimator.
I wonder how many people are in that field.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
