30 Hilarious Riot Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

What’s the difference between the police response to Black Lives Matter protests and their response to the Capitol Hill riots?

Well, it’s black and white.

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👤︎ u/thisDiff

📅︎ Jan 07 2021

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Why do police get to riots early?

To beat the crowd.

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👤︎ u/srivapal

📅︎ Sep 20 2020

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Communists around the world watched gleefully as the Washington riots unfolded.

Karl Marx was right when he wrote Das Capitol.

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👤︎ u/praisethelort

📅︎ Jan 08 2021

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Why did the orchestra leave the riot at the Capitol?

Donald Trump said protesting was good, but he wanted no violins

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👤︎ u/im_not_toby_i_swear

📅︎ Jan 07 2021

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Why did the riot cop leave for work early?

To beat the crowd.

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👤︎ u/chrisrus65

📅︎ Jun 19 2020

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Why do riot police arrive early to the protests?

... so they can beat the crowds!

Edit: Wow, this is now my second highest upvoted post ever, and it's not even my own joke! Totally should have credited the video I saw this in: https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/h8btkp/protester_has_a_joke_for_the_police_officers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Thanks for the laughs and great comment threads, Reddit :)

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👤︎ u/Row199

📅︎ Jun 13 2020

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do you know why police like to arrive early at riots?

They like to beat the crowd!!!!

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👤︎ u/Whlightning

📅︎ Sep 10 2020

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A Chinese restaurant was recently destroyed in the riots.

It was wonton destruction.

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👤︎ u/not_Teddy_Roosevelt

📅︎ Oct 11 2020

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I tried out some riot control equipment today...

But it made a mace

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👤︎ u/oofsoof

📅︎ Aug 09 2020

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Unintentional dadjoke when discussing the riots

I totally get the rage, I just don't get the Target.

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👤︎ u/DinglebarryHandpump

📅︎ May 31 2020

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What do you call a potato that heads downtown to start a riot?

An agi-tater!

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👤︎ u/Sir_Pluses

📅︎ Jun 08 2020

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So there was a protest the other day. Someone told a joke, and nobody could stop laughing. It was a riot.

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👤︎ u/sK197666

📅︎ Jun 01 2020

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During the riots the other day, a person was beat up by six dwarfs.

Not Happy.

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👤︎ u/professorf

📅︎ Jun 04 2020

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"A Riot an the Renaissance Faire!"

Police intervened before anyone began luting.

(Stolen from today's Shoe comic strip... But too good not to share.)

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👤︎ u/jonnyprophet

📅︎ Jan 10 2020

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Did you hear about the Spanish bread riots?

It's complete and utter panarchy.

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👤︎ u/3x3x7x13x23x37

📅︎ Nov 08 2019

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Breaking news: There's a riot in progress at the Kentucky Derby.

Authorities are saying it's race-related.

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👤︎ u/RonPalancik

📅︎ Apr 03 2019

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With all the riots French bakeries must be in a world of pain.

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👤︎ u/Ben_Mole

📅︎ Dec 14 2018

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A merchant approached the captain of a SWAT team about upgrading their riot shields...

The captain replied, "Finally! A purchase I can get behind!"

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👤︎ u/BradEmery

📅︎ Feb 21 2019

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Riots broke out at the thickest shirt competition...

They suffered heavy casual tees.

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👤︎ u/HandCrimped

📅︎ Mar 25 2019

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Did you hear about the riot in the whisk factory?

It caused quite a stir

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👤︎ u/KM2000_THE_CHOSENONE

📅︎ Jan 29 2018

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Did you hear about the riots on Mars?

The government declared Martian Law.

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👤︎ u/TheArchaeonOfficial

📅︎ Oct 17 2017

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What do Jewish people throw when they riot?

Mazel tov cocktails.

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👤︎ u/LlamaFace10

📅︎ Aug 23 2014

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When I saw videos of the Ukrain riots: It was like screwing around on a camping trip

Fucking in tents

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👤︎ u/insertkarma2theleft

📅︎ Jan 22 2014

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Why do police get to riots early?

To beat the crowd

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👤︎ u/The1Pootato

📅︎ Sep 07 2020

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Why do the police show up early to the riots?

To beat the crowd

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👤︎ u/Mr_Gus3114

📅︎ Sep 07 2020

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Why does the riot police get up so early?

To beat the crowd.

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👤︎ u/danuser8

📅︎ Jun 14 2020

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Why do the riot police wake up so early?

To beat the crowds.

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👤︎ u/smliccia

📅︎ Jun 16 2020

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Why does the riot police get up so early?

...To beat the crowds

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👤︎ u/Unsettled_Beef121

📅︎ Jun 09 2020

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Why do Riot Police get up early?

>!They do it to beat the crowds!!<

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👤︎ u/MisterUltimate

📅︎ Jun 14 2020

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Why do the riot police always arrive early to protests?

Because they like to beat the crowd.

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👤︎ u/multiplesofpie

📅︎ Jun 24 2019

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