Me: I just read a great book on multiple personality disorder...
Also me: I don't think it was that great, and neither do I!
A girl came into my bookstore and asked "What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?"
Slim to Nun?
(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)
When I lived in Washington, DC, I formed a rock band with a friend who lived with severe obsessive-compulsive disorder.
OC/DC, we called ourselves.
The second COVID vaccine causes a speech disorder in Spanish speakers
They keep asking for dose dos
What do you call a computer with generalized anxiety disorder?
I used to suffer from multiple personality disorder,
I was attacked by a gang of people with Obsessive–compulsive disorder.
Doctor : "It seems like you have multiple personality disorder"
What do you call a bear with a mental disorder?
What do you call a bovine with an eating disorder?
"I have a split personality disorder"
I got diagnosed with a bleeding disorder today.
I'm just trying to B positive.
What do you call a banana with multiple personality disorder?
I worked with a guy with pultiple personality disorder once
"I hate having MPD" said Tom, being frank.
I have bi-polar disorder...
... But all things considered I'm actually doing quite well half the time.
What do you call when two persons with multiple identity disorder fall in love with each other
Dyslexia is an Alphabetical Disorder.
What do you call a Mexican guy with an anxiety disorder?
[request] Puns about drinks that can be related to mental health disorders/moods
Example: Depresso, Anxietea
Marijuana causes users to become so mellow that they may lose all interest in things that are important. It's a tension deficit disorder.
I’ve got a rare sight disorder from watching Mary Poppins too many times... it called umdiddleyumdiddleyumdiddley eye.
My girlfriend left me after my iguana was diagnosed with a seizure disorder.
She said she couldn’t date a man with a reptile dysfunction
My doctor just diagnosed me with bipolar disorder.
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
My wife was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder...
I never knew she was afraid of Santa and polar bears
I was recently diagnosed with SED. Suppressed Enthusiasm Disorder.
I’m not sure how to feel about it.
If Marty McFly had bipolar disorder...
...would that have made him Sweet n' Sour Chicken?
I found this new rock band that has obsessive compulsive disorder
Sometimes when houses have personality disorders...
I have social anxiety disorder that’s why I’m always SAD
My dad has a rare genetic disorder that he passed down to me.
He poops his pants every hour on the hour. Needles to say I have really shitty genes
What fluid gives you bi-polar disorder?
Why can't a cyclops have multiple personality disorder?
Because it has only one I.
Microsoft's search engine is the best one for adult entertainment (porn). But after I used it, I cleared my browser history. I might have a disorder, because...
So I just realized Pangea is the cure to bi-polar disorder.
What do you call it when a priest has multiple personality disorder?
They've got an altar ego.
I was at the mall the other day, and I overheard two women talking about someone they know who has narcissistic personality disorder.
I'm pretty sure they were talking about me.
Discussing spinal disorders at breakfast...
Kid: "What's that disease called, the one that makes your spine all curved?"
Mom: "That's Scoliosis. It can also mess up your ribcage and shoulders."
Me: "The people who discovered Scoliosis actually had it themselves. It was a husband and wife team. I think their last name was Dover...
Kids: staring intensifies
Me: "... Ben Dover, and his wife Ilene Dover."
I think I have an eating disorder.
My eating disorder
I'm overweight so this is one of my favorites: I'm half bulimic, I binge-eat but don't purge, as a result I'm now anorexic, coz every time I look in the mirror I see a fat person.
I decided to donate my recent winnings in am eating contest to an organisation for eating disorders
They refused, claimed it was tasteless
I have a multi-personality disorder