Did you know there is a new UV based treatment for respiratory ailments?

It's called Strobitussen!

👍︎ 2
👤︎ u/superceder
📅︎ Nov 08 2019
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A woman walks into a doctor's office with a frog on her head. Slightly taken aback, he tells her to sit and asks, "What would happen to be your ailment?"

"Well doc, there would appear to be a woman stuck to my butt."

👍︎ 2
📅︎ Oct 14 2019
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An unemployed engineer opens a clinic..

An engineer who was unemployed for a long time decided to open a medical clinic. He puts a sign outside the clinic: "A cure for your ailment guaranteed at $500; we'll pay you $1,000 if we fail."

A Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic.

Doctor: "I have lost my sense of taste."

Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Doctor: "This is Gasoline!"

Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

The Doctor gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days later to recover his money.

Doctor: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Doctor: "But that is Gasoline!"

Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

The Doctor leaves angrily and comes back after several days, more determined than ever to make his money back.

Doctor: "My eyesight has become weak."

Engineer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for this. Take this $1,000," passing the doctor a $500 note.

Doctor: "But this is $500..."

Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your vision back! That will be $500."

👍︎ 389
👤︎ u/tonheatz
📅︎ Aug 08 2020
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I've started a new competitive pun gameshow podcast entitled 'Punnit' and I'm looking for contestants! First two episodes in the comments.

'Punnit' is hosted by myself and played over three rounds. The first two rounds consist of one category (say, Musical Genres & Ailments), with each contestant going in turn and giving their best 5 entries. Such as, HIVy Metal, Honky Tonksillitis, Indiegestion etc.

These two categories are known about a week or so prior so everyone can bring their best (or worst, depending on how you look at it) but the third round is entirely on the spot, with the entrants shouting out whatever they can think of for a category. One of the recent being American Presidents & American States, with OklaBama winning that one.

It's all very much in the early stages but I would appreciate both feedback on the format and people getting in touch if they wanna duke it out.

Here are the episodes: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKJOzYgG9MW7CQHAZQahiqw/videos

Follow us too @thepunpodcast

👍︎ 6
📅︎ Oct 23 2019
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When regularly checking in on my bedridden girlfriend

I did my best owl impression, complete with hooting noises and flappy wings, whilst offering tea, backrubs and pillow fluffs. When she finally asked what I was doing I replied "my owly check".

I'd like to say the groan was due to ailment, but it was all me.

👍︎ 403
📅︎ Aug 25 2016
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Every time I feel sick, my Dad pulls this.

"Dad, I'm not feeling well."

"Well does your face hurt?

"No, why?"

"Because it's killing me!"

Every minor ailment since I could speak.

👍︎ 65
📅︎ Sep 09 2013
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