In surgery my doctor said, "So what do we have here?" I replied that I broke my arm in 12 places."
He replied, "Well, stop going to those places then!"
I remember a time when plastic surgery was a taboo subject, but nowadays when you mention botox..
..no one even raises an eyebrow.
When my doctor told me my plastic surgery was free of charge
The look on my face was priceless
A man rushed into a Doctor's surgery, shouting ' help me please, I'm shrinking ' The Doctor calmly said ' now settle down a bit '..
..' you'll just have to learn to be a little patient '
Welcome to the Plastic Surgery Addicts group meeting...
I see a lot of new faces here today!!
What's it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
I know a guy who got arrested for offering fraudulent plastic surgery.
He’d give people huge, round hickeys and then charge them for performing “Lip-O-Suction”.
Doctor: "Relax David, It's just a small surgery. Don't panic!!"
Me: "But my name isn't David."
Doctor: "I know, I'm David."
Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...
...an ether/oar situation...
A formerly blind man finishes his last round of eye surgery to gain his sight. The doctor asks if he has any last questions.
Patient: no, I think I'll see my self out.
My daughter recently had surgery and they couldn’t get the IV in but...
They just kept trying in vein!
Had knee surgery today
While the nurse was getting me ready to go, she had to disconnect the wires and take off all tabs. She said there all wires removed. I said “thanks now I am wireless!”
The wife groaned
What did the surgeon say after a successful hip surgery?
If a lawyer gets a hip replacement surgery, do they call the procedure a rebuttal?
Breast reduction surgery.
A massive weight off her shoulders.
I've just lost my job at the hospital, shaving patients in preparation for spinal surgery...
Because of all the cut backs.
What do you call someone that got weight loss surgery?
BREAKING: North Korean Leader in vegetative state following surgery.
They're going to start calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive
Heart transplant is a really heart touching surgery
After 6 cardiac arrests the doctor convinced me to go for surgery!
I really needed that change of heart!
My grandma has to get hip surgery.
I didn't know she would go to such great lengths to stay hip.
A friend of mine needs skin grafts for surgery, but thankfully, he doesn't need donors.
That's no skin off of my nose!
I recently had an eye surgery
It was an eye-opening experience.
I didn't want to have a brain surgery
But the neurosurgeon changed my mind
A man goes into surgery to get his Appendix removed.
Unfortunately, the doctor cut a little too deep and the man's organs began to spill out onto the operating table....
...
...
"Well, it looks you have a table of contents now" says the medical assistant.
I didn’t think brain surgery was ethnical...
But after a successful surgery the Dr changed my mind
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
For our first date, I had surgery with my wife
It was a great way for us to open up.
What do you a call a T-Rex that had a surgery?
I’m thinking about opening a plastic surgery center
I will call it “Pick Your Nose”
My buddy just told me he needs major surgery: he's having half his intestine removed.
(excuse my grammar that should be a semi-colon)
A blind man is going into surgery today for a cornea transplant.
He hopes by tomorrow, he’ll get to see everyone.
During my hip-replacement surgery, I asked my surgeon if I could inject the anesthesia myself..
Surgeon: Yeah sure. Knock yourself out.
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous.
I see a few new faces this week and I must say I’m disappointed.
Just had double knee surgery in Japan
I guess you can call them Japa-knees
I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery
Welcome to plastic surgery anonymous.
I'm seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd tonight and I just have to say I'm really disappointed
Someone recently came back from surgery after an accident with their eye. They got a new eye and a mechanical cover that can shine light while covering the eye
The doctors called it eyeLEDs
Remember when plastic surgery was taboo?
Now if you mention Botox, nobody even raises an eyebrow
Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?
Now you mention Botox and no one even raises an eyebrow.
Doctor: Relax, David. It’s just a small surgery, don’t panic.
Me: my name isn’t David.
Doctor: I know. I’m David.
It used to be taboo to talk about plastic surgery.
Now if you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow.
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
Cosmetic surgery used to be something that people would be embarrassed to speak about
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
Before my surgery, the anesthesiologist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle...
It was an ether/oar situation...
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous.
I see a few new faces here this week and I must say I am very disappointed.
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