Heart Surgery Puns

Yeah that was it

But in the end, he had a change of heart.

When my family asked me if I was okay, I didn’t have the heart to tell them no.

Edit. I can’t change the title but I’ve decided to word it differently:

My heart got ripped out earlier today.

Home is where the heart is.

Nurse: How do you feel? Dad: with my fingers mostly

Open Mike night.

It's his second day in recovery and he's finally awake and starting to walk around a bit. Today he was moved to a step-down unit from ICU. A new doctor we've never seen before came over to check up on my dad.

Doctor: "Hi Mr. _______, how are you feeling? Dr. Esposito asked me to keep an eye on you."

Dad: "Oh really? Which one?"

Poor doctor was so taken aback... He didn't even see it coming.

Me: How did you sleep last night? Dad: With my eyes closed.

...pace-maker

Girl: I'm having heart surgery.

Boy: I know.

G: I love you!

B: I love you more!

Girl wakes up post-surgery; only her dad is in the room

G: Where is he?

Dad: Don't you know who gave you the heart?

G: Cries

D: Just kidding, he went to the bathroom.

Quick backstory, my Dad was rushed to the hospital last night with an acute pericardial effusion. Of course, we didn't know the cause at the time, so when the Doc came into my Dads room in the ER to tell him what's going on and what they were going to do, emergency surgery, this is how the conversation went...

Doc: Mr FloatyMcBoatFace's Dad, You have fluid building up around your heart, an Acute Pericardial Effusion, and we have to go to surgery right away to get that fluid out of there.

My Dad: Well, good thing it isn't an Obtuse Pericardial Effusion...

The entire family groaned. The Dr and Nurse couldn't help but laugh after a few seconds of what I assume was shock.

Anyway, he seems to be doing fine, he's still in the hospital under observation though.

Me: I am nervous for surgery tomorrow Sister: Why are you having surgery? Me jokingly: they have to remove my heart. Dad:They can't remove what you dont have.

Me: My dad actually grew a beard after his open-heart surgery. Her: He never had one before? Me: Nope Her: Must have had a change of heart.