I've got a condition which causes me to make terrible puns.

It's a dad-ly disease.

πŸ‘︎ 162
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theswarthyknight
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
Anyone interested in buying my Delorean? Great condition, low mileage...

Only driven from time to time.

πŸ‘︎ 423
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/justshtmypnts
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
My nephew was released from jail on the condition that I am aware about his whereabouts at all times.

I’m his uncle monitor.

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
I have been diagnosed with a rare condition that makes me think I'm an airport building.

I hope it's not terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
Covid can cause another condition, however, this condition won't come up in people living in sweden.

It's called Stuckhome syndrome

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Major_Cupcake
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
THIS JUST IN: A man is still in critical condition after swallowing $100,000 in large bills.

No change is expected

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/junerlegion
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
Just heard the latest on Tiger's condition.

He's not out of the Woods yet!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
🚨︎ report
What do you need to get rid of a demon with a skin condition?

An Exorcyst.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Apollonius_Cone
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
I gave the dog a bath today and the wife noticed how soft she was and asked β€œDid you condition her?”

So I said β€œyeah, I rang a bell and then fed her”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/billwashere
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14
🚨︎ report
Road Signs Across The Country Are Warning Drivers Of Road Conditions

I C Y

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bawkalor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet....

I get hungry.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/conjunctivitis/

Thats a site for sore eyes

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RaymonDGYC
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
Due to freezing conditions in New York, the mens American Naturist Society....

.....has seen the size of their members shrink dramatically.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
Why do they condition hospital I.V. bottles?

Because everyone loves smooth saline!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
🚨︎ report
I'm looking to sell my Delorean. It’s in Great condition, low mileage..

Only driven from time to time!

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Marty McFly's Delorean in such good condition?

Because he only drove it from time to time.

πŸ‘︎ 97
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Kissing someone is human version of accepting germs and conditions
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TickleLife
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the coolest disease or condition one can die from?

Hypothermia! It’s the coolest way to go.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Sadly due to a neurological condition, I have a permanent hand tremor..

Good side is that when I do a handshake, I do it literally.

(Condition is inoperable brain tumour)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a condition where I spontaneously and randomly tell jokes to people

It's a gag reflex

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fingadod
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My doctor assessed my condition and grimaced. 'I--uh, I give you two weeks max."

"Bad news," I said, "and my name is Tom."

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The comments on the post of a video where a man who flew from Emirates (using hot air balloons) and was found in Oman in a critical condition. I doubt if that video Israel..
πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I was diagnosed with a condition where I can't stop making airport jokes.

The doctor said it was terminal

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Popular333
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The comments on the post of a video where a man who flew from Emirates (using hot air balloons) and was found in Oman in a critical condition. I doubt if that video Israel..
πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Irish Decepticon with a skin condition?

A leper-con!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cylasbreakdown
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What type of medical condition excites politicians?

Pro-state cancer

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LopsidedVader
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a condition where my body is invisible to the naked eye.

I went to the doctor, and he said, "Sorry, I can't see you now."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/195236
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I call myself terms and conditions

Because y'all keep ignoring me

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/A1B1D1U1L1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the metaphysical highway sign say to warn drivers about wintry driving conditions?

Bridges may be, icy.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate insomnia, it's a horrible condition

I'm losing sleep over it.

On the plus side, it's only 3 more sleeps until Christmas

πŸ‘︎ 108
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/J96x_Rob_LFC
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of medical condition causes wrinkles clothes?

An iron deficiency.

πŸ‘︎ 131
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Misplaced_Texan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
🚨︎ report
There are conditions
πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ladydisdain91
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A man is still in critical condition after swallowing $250,000 in large bills

No change is expected.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Limelight_019283
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the terms and conditions on a Christmas present

Santa clauses

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IWantToBeAHipster
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I get ignored so much, might as well be called terms and conditions
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Reborn0608
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Where does the teenage boar with a skin condition go to school?

Hogworts.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wtrsport430
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What medical condition were pirates prone to?

Restless peg syndrome.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve been diagnosed with a rare condition that makes me think I’m an airport building.

Hope it’s not terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tangledtitty
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My doctor told me that I won an award for my rare muscle condition.

It was atrophy.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Evan_Fishsticks
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I just spent hundreds of dollars online buying expensive ointments for my skin condition.

That was a rash decision.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.

It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What condition are your toes in when your feet fall asleep?

Comatose

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Whats common between 'terms and conditions' and you?

Both are ignored

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/griefcase69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Anyone out there interested in buying my DeLorean ? Great condition, low mileage..

.. really only driven from time to time.

πŸ‘︎ 710
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
Why do they condition all of the I.V. bottles at the hospital?

Everyone loves smooth saline!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/clark_creationz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.