Can anyone give me capitals and state puns?

For example I have: What's the capital of Alaska? I'm pretty sure Juneau (You know)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twin802
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2016
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BREAKING: North Korean Leader in vegetative state following surgery.

They're going to start calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Otherwise-Sherbet
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
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Murphy’s law states that if something can go wrong, it will. Cole’s law is mostly cabbage.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leonard_face
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11
🚨︎ report
Which state has the most streets?

Rhode Island.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
A guy says "what is your favorite state."

The other guy replies "Idaho?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoolClayy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
My wife and I saw an out-of-state license play and called it at the same time. But she beat me to the punch :/
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slugwomp
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
Which US state did running felines originate from?

Kinetic-cat

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πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
A physicist sees a man about to jump off of the Empire State Building...

He yells,” Don’t do it, you have too much potential”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MCVeteran69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
My friend tried to ride his horse from Maine to the Southwestern United States for a type of bean but was hit by an older Ford...

It was a pinto.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
I once hiked to a lake with the states of Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and New York on its western, southern, and eastern shores. Not a bird was singing and the lake was still...

It was Erie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
I'm determined to walk with my wife across the second largest state in the USA, even if she wants to walk across the largest.

Regardless if it Texas along time, Alaska.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zippysausage
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
What state has the most people addicted to writing?

pencil-vein-yeah

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadlifememes
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
What state has the smallest drinks?

Mini-Soda.

(From my seven-year-old.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rossumcapek
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
🚨︎ report
When Kim Jong Un returns from the vegetative state, can we call him Slim Jong Un ???
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πŸ‘€︎ u/captainflatbelly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of drunk state officials who make decisions?

A beeraucracy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icantgivetitwanks
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
What animal can jump higher than the Empire State Building?

They all can; the Empire State Building can't jump!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robitsarecool
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
I hear some US states are considering reopening massage parlors. There's no happy ending in this scenario.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chxkh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
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I really miss going to a midwest state and digging for artifacts.

I'm having an Indiana Jones

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterwill
πŸ“…︎ May 04
🚨︎ report
I bought some engine cleaner. The label said β€˜Known to cause cancer in the state of California.’

Good thing I’m using it in Missouri.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sethrymir
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
It's definitely an anomaly as far as leadership successions in modern states go

Yet, here we are. North Korea's Kim Jong is ill once more.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honesty-lowkeye
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
Which US state is famous for its extra small soft drinks?

Minnesota

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dani_SF
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
Dad, which state supports baking as a family activity?

Whisk on, son.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shouldExist
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
A man bragged that his bicep looks state of Oklahoma.

Weird flex, but OK.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ClayDevil
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
🚨︎ report
When you're in California, make sure your mechanic uses a state flag to check your oil.

Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis."

Edit: Thanks for the Platinum stranger! Wow!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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There’s nothing that’s state owned in The UK

It’s kingdom owned

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πŸ‘€︎ u/M-Bumtaia
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
When pirates move out of Kansas, which state do they choose?

ARkansas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/B0B_LAW
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
What's Stallin's favorite state?

Ourkansas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyndacyndaquill
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
What was the 16th president of the United States told before the dinner party?

Ay bring ham, Lincoln.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Keepscrollin-u
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
STATE JOKES: What did Delaware?

A New Jersey

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KyleC83
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
Are all the names of the states sexy

Or am Idaho

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πŸ‘€︎ u/free-bi-fi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
🚨︎ report
Which American state is famous for it's small fizzy drinks?

Mini soda

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lunaticluna420
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
Given the state of the world today , I don’t have Great Expectations for my children.

I got them all the other Dickens’ books though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
I recently visited Washington state for the first time. Much to my surprise, it ended up being a warm and sunny day when I arrived! Put on a tank top, threw on some shades, and picked up an iced latte. I took a stroll through the park near the Space Needle and had a wonderful time.

I guess you could say I was sleeveless in Seattle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jazzywaffles84
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
The United States is a cancer.

Its birthday is July 4th.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/conundrumbombs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
In what state do you watch a priest, sneeze, and sit down?

massachusetts.

It gets worse. My kids and I have a ton of these for different states. Should it be one thread?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blurose262
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
[Pun request] Need a List of Cat Puns For US Cities and States

So far for States I have: Catifornia North and South Catolina Oklahomeow Oregato Furorida Mew York, Jersey, Hampshire, Mexico Connectikitty ​

For cities I have: Mew York Kitty Felinedelphia San Digato Mewmphis Chigato San Furanciso Indianapawlis Clawmbus​

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πŸ‘€︎ u/namtag24
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
In which state, in America, there's the highest concentration of weebs?

Ohio

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RandoMazed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
Murphy's law states that if something bad can happen, it will.

Cole's law is basically just cabbage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GarrityG
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
From what state in the U.S. most computers come from?

Dellaware.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danysco
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
🚨︎ report
Surveillance State
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pauliesyllabic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I hear the United States is well stocked for a bird-of-prey flu epidemic...

There are plenty of ill eagle drugs for just such emergency.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
Jake Fromm State Farm
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLaird
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
STATE JOKES: What did Tennessee?

Same thing Arkansas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KyleC83
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
My friend wanted me to run some moonshine in decorative bottles out of state for him, but I'm wary...

That's pretty whiskey business.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
A geography teaches picks two students, one an exchange student from Japan and the other a native, to answer a question about state capitals. β€œWhat is the capital of Ohio?”, the teacher asks.

The native student answers β€œCleveland”, much to the teacher’s chagrin. The Exchange student on the other hand, answers β€œIt’s a bit late, but Gozaimasu!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CalmingVisionary
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My favourite state
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ventus250
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is Alabama the smartest state in the country?

It has more A's than B's

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JerfDaRerf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Can a Kangaroo jump higher then the Empire State Building?

Ofcourse it can. The Empire State Building can't jump.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sjoerd019
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My favorite state, Alobama
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1magin3wag0ns
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the most Canadian state?

Me-sorry.

(Missouri).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blitzkrieger23
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Flag of the Paypal States.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TysonPlett
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
(From my mother in our 1:30 delusional state) Why are we all wearing glasses?

It's 2020

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cab0053
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
What's the smartest state?

MATH-achusetts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFahrenheit1o1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Today is Boxing Day in the UK, Canada, New Zealand, and Australia. Do you know when Boxing Day is celebrated in the United States?

Black Friday

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justainsel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What state did the lonely cow moo to?

Cowifornia

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DannyPipeCalling
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad was bragging about his new hearing aid. β€œState of the Art,” he said, β€œIt cost me a fortune.”

I said, β€œAwesome. What type is it?”

He said, β€œ Two thirty.”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What US state is round on the sides but tall in the center?

oHIo

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πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What is Maroon 5's favorite state?

Missouri

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snowdonut
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend spent a year in China, but today he got sent back to the United States. He's feeling really...

Disoriented

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Myusernameisfish
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
If the United States annexed all of Canada and multiplied it’s area by two, what would you get?

WSA

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shortordercook
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Murphy's Law states that anything that can go wrong, WILL go wrong. Cole's Law...

Is basically just cabbage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CuriousQueso
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Different states of crow
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonDrawer14
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
More U.S. Presidents were born in Virginia than any other state.

I guess you could say it's a Prez dispenser.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My state just erected a prison that turned out to be phony...

It was a hokey pokey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What are the two states of a chameleon?

Chameleon and chameleoff

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/southpolebrand
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the most Down-to-Earth state in the USA?

Floorida.

(Originally by my 5-year-old cousin)

πŸ‘︎ 139
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Overlevendeftw
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Clown and state capitals

A clown was bragging about his knowledge of state capitals. He proudly said, β€œGo ahead, ask me, I know all of them.”

A friend said, β€œOK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin?”

The clown replied, β€œOh, that’s easy: W.”

(source: http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/clown-and-state-capitals/)

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fascist state?

A fascination.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheEpicPotato345
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm not sure if my wife would be okay with traveling outside the 48 contiguous states for our vacation

but Alaska.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cloud9ineteen
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Fresh Thyme blackberries linked to hepatitis A outbreak in three states.

This is berry bad news

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FaceInTheCloudz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Not to brag, but I beat the state chess champion in less than 5 moves.

Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.

πŸ‘︎ 118
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
A physicist sees a yound men who wants to jump off the Empire State Building.

He yells: β€œDon't jump! You have so much potential!”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LunorVoHarden
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Which American state has a lot of topless photos?

Nude Jersey

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My Chinese friend refuses to believe that our friend Ty is now the state boxing champion.

The Chinese don’t want to recognize Ty won.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Which state has the most streets per square mile?

It's Rhode Island.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arrenlex
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Not to brag, but yesterday I beat the state chess champion in less than five moves.

Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2018
🚨︎ report
The state of this sub

SSBN-728

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fucks_equal_zero
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
More U.S. Presidents were born in Virginia than any other state. reddit.com/r/puns/comment…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
To which state did my ex-wife move after the divorce?

I don't know.

But if I see her, Alaska!

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frasier_n_Chill
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A small US state is trying to hack into a computer technology company's system.

I think we ought to make Delaware.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Head of state
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FishBallGamez
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
We Need to Add PR, DC, and Guam as states.

53 is a Prime Number.

We then would truly be one nation, indivisible

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What was the 16th president of the United States told before a dinner party?

Ay, bring ham, Lincoln

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mush_Tilly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
Which state has the most streets?

Rhode Island

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mutedbassman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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