What do you call a snake that works for the government?
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Do you know what happened to Jack Ma after he criticized the Chinese Government?
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Only government...
Can screw you hard for a whole year before they even stimulate you
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︎ Dec 31 2020
A group in Denmark is trying to convince the government to use old Legos to re-pave their highways...
...unfortunately, they've been running into a lot of road blocks.
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︎ Dec 02 2020
What's the difference between the government and the mafia?
The mafia can turn a profit!
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︎ Nov 30 2020
Due to COVID-19, the German government is advising that people stock up on sausages and cheese.
They are preparing for a wurst kΓ€se scenario.
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︎ Nov 12 2020
The Government Accidentally Built A Prison Outside My Home,
I Guess You Could Say I'm Under House Arrest.
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︎ Nov 17 2020
The German government is calling for everybody to stock up on sausage and cheese in case of a second lockdown.
It's the Wurst-kΓ€se-scenario
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︎ Oct 16 2020
A report just came out exposing how the government's mishandling of an explosive object could've caused the deaths of hundreds of civilians
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︎ Nov 02 2020
After many years of designing, the government has released a new type of currency made out of herbs.
They spent a lot of thyme on it, but now it's mint.
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︎ Oct 01 2020
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
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︎ Sep 23 2020
The Egyptian government has asked Cairoβs taxi drivers to drive around and sound their horns in the hope that familiar sounds will help calm the residents following the pandemic.
Operation Toot And Calm βEm will last a week.
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︎ Sep 28 2020
The government started banning alcoholic drinks, so I'm selling liquor in secret.
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︎ Sep 07 2020
The U. S. Government legally believes in demons.
After all, possession is 9/10ths of the law.
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︎ Aug 29 2020
Cardi Bβs sister used to spy for the Russian government, but refuses to talk about it publicly
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︎ Sep 07 2020
Where I grew up, we had back-to-back violent attempts to overthrow the government.
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︎ Aug 27 2020
What kind of a government would Authors form if given a chance?
An authoritative write winged government.
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︎ Jul 31 2020
I just heard that the government has made an amendment to lockdown to allow Father Christmas out...
It's called the Santa Clause
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 06 2020
If the government banned cigarettes, I would shout slogans and protest
But I'm afraid I wouldn't have the lung capacity
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︎ Aug 07 2020
Why did the government arrest a rancher who fed cannabis to his cattle?
The stakes were too high.
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︎ Jun 10 2020
What type of government does a country full of extroverts have? A socialist government.
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︎ Jun 28 2020
What is the only music allowed on US Government computers?
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 20 2020
As an Aussie, I feel sorry for my American friends and their government
After all, theyβre still stuck in the last decade
π︎ 261
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︎ Dec 31 2019
The government is making a regime change..
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 20 2020
If the government included a clutch of baby chickens along with the stimulus funds...
Does this mean we got money for nothing and our chicks for free?
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︎ May 03 2020
The government just banned the fifth month of the calendar year.
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︎ Feb 23 2020
The government is finally allowing Lego Land to reopen...
...kids are lining up for blocks.
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︎ Jun 04 2020
The czech government month and a half ago...
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︎ Apr 17 2020
I donβt like the government taking all my money. Itβs taxing
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︎ Apr 23 2020
If you get a message from the government warning not to eat tinned meat because is contains Covid-19, just ignore it.
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︎ Mar 27 2020
I knew the government was hiding something
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︎ Jan 23 2020
A train engineer believed a hospital ship was the site of secret government conspiracy and decides to ram it with his train.
Now that's what I call a loco-motive.
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︎ Apr 02 2020
Austrian government has banned gatherings of more than 5 people
They have been Austriacized..
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︎ Mar 16 2020
Did you hear about the government scheme to get rid of deodorant?
They said that they are going to axe body spray.
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︎ Apr 10 2020
In the Israeli government who has the most power?
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 21 2020
I was going to get a tattoo in Madrid, but the tattoo artist I wanted to go to got in trouble for making some anti government tattoo art, which was quite a surprise
No one expects the Spanish ink sedition
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︎ Dec 31 2019
Apparently, new government advice in light of the toilet paper shortage is to use lettuce leaves when using the toilet.
It's the tip of the iceberg (courtesy of my dad).
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︎ Mar 18 2020
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government.
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︎ Aug 15 2019
My local government sent me some free, emergency toilet paper in the mail!
They called it a "Jury Summons."
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︎ Mar 22 2020
What did the government tell the astronaut to do during the pandemic?
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︎ Mar 27 2020
The government is starting to punish criminals by giving them Coronavirus
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︎ Mar 14 2020
Since the government's instituted shelter-in-place orders, lions have been roaming main street...
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︎ Mar 21 2020
The Pentagon has a bakery where government agents learn secret recipes by mixing the ingredients themselves...
It operates on a knead to know basis.
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︎ Jan 01 2020
The US army secretly trains pigeons to help overthrow hostile foreign governments.
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︎ Dec 18 2019
A Government think tank have carried out a survey looking into how people walk home from the pub...
The results are staggering.
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︎ Sep 28 2019
I was fired from my cozy government job for wearing a tank top.
I forgot that youβre not allowed to bring guns on government property.
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︎ Jul 20 2019
Do you want to know a joke about the Chinese government?
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︎ Jun 25 2020
What do you call a snake that works for the government?
π︎ 44
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︎ Sep 23 2019
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