Policy Puns

I guess the rules don't apply to me.

All of them.

One to dream it up, and the rest to fcuk it up.

Regular workers must wear small face shields, while Managers get to use the super-visors.

The whole country is in tiers

Now our budget's cracking up.

A man-date

They called it "Snitches get stitches"

Dark Knight Returns

I mean braking is the only way to stop the vehicle.

Sweetzerland.

To be fair, it's the bear minimum

Because he's got a feline the repercussions would be cat-astrophic!

That was my last post on Facebook before I deactivated my account. People thought it was funny but I wonder how long until they realize what it actually meant.

No streakers are allowed.

I'm going to make sure I follow it, I don't want to get scent home.

"Mr. Smith, if you want to keep your job as the grammar teacher, you need to start teaching the ENTIRE alphabet."

Its called wombs to go.

A frog walks into a bank. He walks up to a desk and sees the name plate "Patty Whack Loan Officer". He says "I'd like to get a loan to start a business making lily-pad art." Patty, a little put off by a talking frog says "Okay, but we are going to need some kind of collateral." The frog says"I have this." and he puts a small porcelain figurine on her desk. She says "That's very nice but I'm not sure it's enough. Do you have any references?" "Sure!" the frog replies. "My Father is Mic Jager!" Further taken aback, Patty says, "I'll have to check this with the bank manager." She calls the bank manager over and explains the odd situation. "I don't know what's going on...this frog says his father is Mic Jager and all he has for collateral is this...figurine thing." The bank manager looks up and smiles at her and says "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan! His old man's a rolling stone!"

Clarence Thomas, in response, said an appeal would be "a fruitless exercise"

To be fair, it's the bear minimum.