I tried gluing my company's HR policies to myself, but they wouldn't stick...

I guess the rules don't apply to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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How many politicians does take to enact a policy?

All of them.

One to dream it up, and the rest to fcuk it up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eltegs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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We have a strict hierarchy policy for PPE usage at my office...

Regular workers must wear small face shields, while Managers get to use the super-visors.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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People are not happy with Englands new COVID policy.

The whole country is in tiers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/larrydavid1987
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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My company's financial policy is a joke.

Now our budget's cracking up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DesertWolf45
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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What do you call two councilmen eating lunch and talking about policies?

A man-date

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBossMan007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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A warden implemented a policy to only allow medical assistance to inmates that previously cooperated

They called it "Snitches get stitches"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOtherHoboBeard
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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What do you call Batman insurance policies?

Dark Knight Returns

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackdragon8577
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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I don’t test drive cars because of the β€œyou break it you bought it.” Policy.

I mean braking is the only way to stop the vehicle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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What's the country with the most radical policies?

Sweetzerland.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mehterboy1453
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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China has a policy where a certain ammount of Pandas must live in the country.

To be fair, it's the bear minimum

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Northwestern253
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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Why doesn't Trump make any policies on cats?

Because he's got a feline the repercussions would be cat-astrophic!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hamzagt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2017
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If a school has a "What happens in the classroom stays in the classroom" policy. Would you say the information has then been CLASSified?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavinKye
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2017
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An almond doesn’t lactate: The FDA hasn’t been enforcing its own policy or putting the squeeze on product makersβ€”and that it’s time to get abreast of the labeling language. arstechnica.com/tech-poli…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acadiel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
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I’m updating my terms of service and privacy policy

That was my last post on Facebook before I deactivated my account. People thought it was funny but I wonder how long until they realize what it actually meant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nofunrich
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2018
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Windex is very transparent on its clothing policy.

No streakers are allowed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Target359
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2018
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We have a new fragrance policy at work

I'm going to make sure I follow it, I don't want to get scent home.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/relevant84
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
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I had to have talk with the principal over my policy of giving no A's on my tests.

"Mr. Smith, if you want to keep your job as the grammar teacher, you need to start teaching the ENTIRE alphabet."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MightyOtaku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
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I work at a foster care agency with a rent to own policy...

Its called wombs to go.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thosjb
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
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Amphibious Lending policies

A frog walks into a bank. He walks up to a desk and sees the name plate "Patty Whack Loan Officer". He says "I'd like to get a loan to start a business making lily-pad art." Patty, a little put off by a talking frog says "Okay, but we are going to need some kind of collateral." The frog says"I have this." and he puts a small porcelain figurine on her desk. She says "That's very nice but I'm not sure it's enough. Do you have any references?" "Sure!" the frog replies. "My Father is Mic Jager!" Further taken aback, Patty says, "I'll have to check this with the bank manager." She calls the bank manager over and explains the odd situation. "I don't know what's going on...this frog says his father is Mic Jager and all he has for collateral is this...figurine thing." The bank manager looks up and smiles at her and says "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan! His old man's a rolling stone!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quicksdraw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2014
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In June there was a Supreme Court ruling that overturned a Department of Agriculture policy in which raisins were seized from farmers in order to maintain high prices. An appeal case was suggested that would mandate compensation for farmers who forfeited their raisins

Clarence Thomas, in response, said an appeal would be "a fruitless exercise"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dude108
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2015
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TIL China has a policy where a certain ammount of Pandas must live in the country.

To be fair, it's the bear minimum.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Malgus
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2018
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