It's a Risk but I have to take it!
They're going with either impeachment or impairment.
Mario Kart
Word of mouthβ¬
Rectum.
We call him "Ad Hawk"
He foiled my plan.
Subtractvertisement
It de pawns, mon.
and he placed two pennies on the table and walked away.
After spending an hour cleaning a filthy fridge for the second time in three weeks, I was irritable and complaining loudly about all the nasty leftovers left in there. My boyfriend, trying to be cute, opens up a jar of pickled okra and puts one into my mouth mid-sentence...
Him: "Here have some."
Me: Sigh "Okay..."
Him: It's hard to argue with pickled okra...
...because it doesn't talk."
They're going to be alloys.
Turns out itβs about Chess strategies.
Go for the juggler
I think itβs a pretty bald strategy.
I'm moving out temporarily, and am bringing some with me. But bringing the strategy game is not a Risk I'm willing to take.
Think back to the strategy employed by the Tea Party to primary out moderate Republicans and replace them with extremists.
The party kept the same name and in many ways yes kept the same policies, but underwent fundamental changes by replacing many of its parts with new, different ones, while still being the same party.
Would this strategy be called the Vote of Theseus?
I was a young teenager, hanging out with my cousins at a family wedding. We were dressed in our finest: button-down shirts and ties (a rare thing for some of us). It was the middle of the photo shoot, so we had to wait around for our turn.
My uncle sees us, bored out of our minds, and asks if we wanted to have a "tie race." Seeing our puzzled expressions, he demonstrated by rolling up his tie from the bottom to the top like a cinnamon roll.
We got the idea immediately, rolling up our ties as well. Everyone had their own strategy: some rolled theirs tighter, others looser. Some rolled up the tail, others didn't. Some had clip-ons.
On the count of three, we released our ties to see whose unrolled the fastest. We all looked around, trying to decide who actually won the race, when my uncle declared:
It's a tie!
My friends were playing a game during new years celebrations and I was watching. One of my friends began adopting a strategy I've become infamous for.
Friend getting mad: Paul, do you see this? He's pretty much being you.
Me: I'm appalled.
Some precursor- I'm 27, my girlfriend is 34; we visited my family who lives in another state this past weekend for easter. The last two days I started to write down every horrible attempt at a joke my dad did. So these were just the best of the last two days. Note that this was the first time my girlfriend had met them.
When watching a commercial on liposuction, "I was going to get liposuction but they just melt it out, I wanted them to ZAP it out"
When getting directions, "Should I use my Gsp? (I think it was a joke trying to comment on the similar sound between esp and gps... not sure though)
When a commercial kept repeating "we can", he said (to the tune of ice cream ice cream we all scream for...)"WE CAN! WE CAN! WE ALL SCREAM FOR... ... DEATHcam" (I think he realized he had no joke there so sort of trailed off)
Finally, the worst. When we're pulling up to a state park, he's reading the signs that warn about rattlesnakes and scorpions. He leans in and says, "Hey, I've got a great survival tip" with a serious stern face, "Don't feed the rattlesnakes". Then cracks up with a silly laugh as if it's the funniest joke ever created. He realized that no one was laughing, so he thought if he repeated it a few times, it might get funnier. He continued throwing that joke out every time we got to a sign that had wildlife warnings. Seeing this strategy was failing to illicit any laughs, he decided to go with a new approach. He started saying "Don't feed the scorpions,"
Me: I don't really like curling
Dad: You've gotta get the hang of it. It involves a lot of strategy. It's like chess.
Me: I don't really like chess either.
Dad: Well that's cause there's no mouse or toggle switch involved.
Me: Dad what's a toggle switch?
Dad: Not a toggle switch... Uh... What are those things called...
Me: Joysticks?
Dad: Yeah joysticks.
Me: Dad people don't use joysticks anymore.
Dad: So that's why people are so miserable all the time.
