I have an obsessive compulsion to steal a strategy board game of diplomacy, conflict and conquest...

It's a Risk but I have to take it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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Looks like the Democrats are going for a fruit-based strategy

They're going with either impeachment or impairment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hawkeye18
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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I've been really getting into a turn based strategy game lately

Mario Kart

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PoglaTheGrate
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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β€ͺWhat’s the most effective marketing strategy to sell audio books?‬

Word of mouth‬

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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Uber planned certain business strategy, but it drives customers away
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vinotm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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It’s a bit disappointing that the Ant Man defeating Thanos theory won’t happen. After all, I’m sure the strategy would have...

Rectum.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emeraldzoroark
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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A have a pet bird of prey that can come up with marketing strategies without any preparation!

We call him "Ad Hawk"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BunzarTheFuzzy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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I wrote my strategy for dealing with a specific set of circumstances in a notebook, but my friend wrapped it in aluminium paper.

He foiled my plan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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What do you call a pessimistic marketing strategy?

Subtractvertisement

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SauceMaster6464
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
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What's the most important piece to a Jamaican's chess strategy?

It de pawns, mon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sirclicksal0t
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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so I asked my boss if he had anything to add to a new strategy...

and he placed two pennies on the table and walked away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pureguavaa
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2015
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Boyfriend's clever dad-joke strategy for dealing with my complaining.

After spending an hour cleaning a filthy fridge for the second time in three weeks, I was irritable and complaining loudly about all the nasty leftovers left in there. My boyfriend, trying to be cute, opens up a jar of pickled okra and puts one into my mouth mid-sentence...

Him: "Here have some."

Me: Sigh "Okay..."

Him: It's hard to argue with pickled okra...

...because it doesn't talk."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/navkat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2014
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Did you hear that Iron Man and the Silver Surfer are teaming up?

They're going to be alloys.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Super_Bakon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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What’s nicer than mayonnaise?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Norbingot
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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I was really excited when my wife bought me a book for my birthday called β€œ69 Mating Positions”.

Turns out it’s about Chess strategies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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How do stop a mob of attacking clowns?

Go for the juggler

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πŸ‘€︎ u/toolaroola12
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
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My mate Dave told me he’s started shaving his head to hide his thinning hair.

I think it’s a pretty bald strategy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/littleboypunder
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
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My roommates and I have a lot of boardgames.

I'm moving out temporarily, and am bringing some with me. But bringing the strategy game is not a Risk I'm willing to take.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/masonwyattk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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A Political One.

Think back to the strategy employed by the Tea Party to primary out moderate Republicans and replace them with extremists.

The party kept the same name and in many ways yes kept the same policies, but underwent fundamental changes by replacing many of its parts with new, different ones, while still being the same party.

Would this strategy be called the Vote of Theseus?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StruckingFuggle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2017
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A tie race at a wedding

I was a young teenager, hanging out with my cousins at a family wedding. We were dressed in our finest: button-down shirts and ties (a rare thing for some of us). It was the middle of the photo shoot, so we had to wait around for our turn.

My uncle sees us, bored out of our minds, and asks if we wanted to have a "tie race." Seeing our puzzled expressions, he demonstrated by rolling up his tie from the bottom to the top like a cinnamon roll.

We got the idea immediately, rolling up our ties as well. Everyone had their own strategy: some rolled theirs tighter, others looser. Some rolled up the tail, others didn't. Some had clip-ons.

On the count of three, we released our ties to see whose unrolled the fastest. We all looked around, trying to decide who actually won the race, when my uncle declared:

It's a tie!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boredcircuits
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2016
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Starting the new year off great

My friends were playing a game during new years celebrations and I was watching. One of my friends began adopting a strategy I've become infamous for.

Friend getting mad: Paul, do you see this? He's pretty much being you.

Me: I'm appalled.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IrishKing
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2016
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Spent the Weekend With The Family...

Some precursor- I'm 27, my girlfriend is 34; we visited my family who lives in another state this past weekend for easter. The last two days I started to write down every horrible attempt at a joke my dad did. So these were just the best of the last two days. Note that this was the first time my girlfriend had met them.

When watching a commercial on liposuction, "I was going to get liposuction but they just melt it out, I wanted them to ZAP it out"

When getting directions, "Should I use my Gsp? (I think it was a joke trying to comment on the similar sound between esp and gps... not sure though)

When a commercial kept repeating "we can", he said (to the tune of ice cream ice cream we all scream for...)"WE CAN! WE CAN! WE ALL SCREAM FOR... ... DEATHcam" (I think he realized he had no joke there so sort of trailed off)

Finally, the worst. When we're pulling up to a state park, he's reading the signs that warn about rattlesnakes and scorpions. He leans in and says, "Hey, I've got a great survival tip" with a serious stern face, "Don't feed the rattlesnakes". Then cracks up with a silly laugh as if it's the funniest joke ever created. He realized that no one was laughing, so he thought if he repeated it a few times, it might get funnier. He continued throwing that joke out every time we got to a sign that had wildlife warnings. Seeing this strategy was failing to illicit any laughs, he decided to go with a new approach. He started saying "Don't feed the scorpions,"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Burge97
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2014
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My dad talking about computer games

Me: I don't really like curling

Dad: You've gotta get the hang of it. It involves a lot of strategy. It's like chess.

Me: I don't really like chess either.

Dad: Well that's cause there's no mouse or toggle switch involved.

Me: Dad what's a toggle switch?

Dad: Not a toggle switch... Uh... What are those things called...

Me: Joysticks?

Dad: Yeah joysticks.

Me: Dad people don't use joysticks anymore.

Dad: So that's why people are so miserable all the time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YaM8
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2013
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My Dad on Justin Beiber

Does he have an eggs it strategy?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAdmiral88
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2014
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