Wasn't really planning on laughing today, til I saw this!! xD
Your grandparents are planning their funeral arrangements in advance. Grandma wants to be transported in a horse and carriage grandpa wants a Ferrari.
Setting up to be a real race to the finish but I think Grandpa is winning this one.
Apparently, the producers of The Flintstones were planning to make one final episode where Fred’s brother marries Barney’s brother.
It was cancelled because it was the 60s and Americans weren’t yet ready to have a gay old time.
I'm planning to open my own healthy food and supplements store.
I’m planning a paint themed party for my friend, any paint/art themed puns I can use for the invitations?
I'm planning to implement a new weight-loss method that will require people to wear winter gloves making it harder for them to eat.
I will call it "Inter-mitten fasting".
I’m planning a trip to the Farsi-speaking part of Ontario
I’ve always wanted to visit the Persian Guelph
Space X is planning to send a bunch of cattle into orbit.
It will be the herd shot 'round the world.
I heard someone was planning a murder
I was worried until I found out he was a Crow
I bought a massive Christmas tree at the weekend. The guy in the store asked "Are you planning on putting it up yourself?"
I said "Nah, I'll probably just put it up in the living room"
I wasn't originally planning on getting a brain transplant
But then I changed my mind
I've been planning meals in advance a lot lately..
..and it has given me food forethought.
I told my dad that I was planning to move to the Arctic circle for a few months.
He said, “I don’t like your latitude.”
My barber is planning an ultimate terror, fright theme for his shop this Halloween
I bet it will be a hair razing experience.
My friend is planning to do vasectomies on killer whales.
But he prefers the term orchestrating
I'm planning a charity event for people who can't ejaculate.
Just let me know if you can't come.
My wife and I are planning a trip to San Francisco to finally fulfill my lifelong dream of seeing The Golden Gate in person.
She asked me, “What are you going to do when you see it?”
I said, “Let’s cross that bridge when we get there.”
I wqs planning to make a joke about an aircraft's aerofoils, but then I thought...
& I am planning to replace the laptop
My wife was planning to wash the bathroom, but it was getting late
...so she had to scrub it.
If you think Marvel is planning to clone Benjamin J. Grimm,
you've got another Thing coming.
Canada is planning a mission to the moon
We're calling our spaceship the Apollo-G.
How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.
I was planning to get into gardening
But I haven’t botany plants
It’s been a busy day, so I was planning on making some herbal tea..
But I just can’t seem to find the thyme!
This Halloween I was planning to go as a band aid, but decided against it.
It’s really hard to pull off.
Coworkers were planning lunch orders
Boss asked for a number 7, coworker asked what it was, I replied with the one after a number 6
Me: Sir, you can’t give me a ticket for speeding. I am planning to run a Marathon today.
Cop: Stop playing the race card.
I went to the grocery store today, planning to steal some aluminum.
My plans were foiled by the police.
I was planning to buy my kids a jack-in-the-box for Christmas
But after looking for hours, I decided to pass. Nothing really jumped out at me.
I'm planning on starting a discount amputation clinic
I'm gonna call it Half Off For Half Off
My new nightclub for giants finally opened. It took over 7 years of planning and we only had one rule...
Why are boxers really good at planning parties?
They always have the best punch.
I had neurosurgery in May. I wonder how long he was planning this...
imgur.com/8E4ICUk
I was planning on having chicken for dinner but I forgot to take it out of the freezer.
It wasn’t a well thawed out plan.
Did you hear about the latest thing Donald Trump is trying to do? He’s planning to ban shredded cheese.
He just wants to make America grate again.
I finally got around to reading a book about planning my day...
A husband and wife architect team were planning their next project . . .
The domineering wife thought the house needed a cantilevered balcony while the husband thought that it would ruin the aesthetic of the design. She told him he was an idiot and to keep his mouth shut. His friends hated to see her treat him so badly.
They always said “Why cantilever?”
The astrophysics class I was planning to take filled up before I could sign up. Now I have to take something else.
What do you call a couple that practices natural family planning?
Suddenly qualified to tell dad jokes
I'm planning a parody TV show of Stranger Things, but starring river-based forest creatures.
I'm calling it Otter Stuff.
I hate it when people ask me what I'm planning to do next year.
How would I know, I don't have 2020 vision.
My friend is planning to sue the hardware store for selling him a bunch of buckets with holes in them.
Personally, I don’t think his argument holds water.
NBC is planning an old-fashioned sitcom about Abraham Lincoln.
It will be shot before a live audience.
I wasn't originally planning to get a brain transplant
But then I changed my mind
I told my mom that I’m planning to move to the Arctic circle for the next few months.
She said, “I don’t like your latitude.”
I wasn't planning on getting a brain transplant
But then I changed my mind
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