Our local flying school is trialling a new programme to teach blind people how to fly.
I've heard they just launched the new reptilian-focused aid programme.
I watched a TV programme about the House of Lords last week. But I wasn’t really concentrating so I’m going to have to watch it again.
That’ll be the Peer review.
What do you call a programme where you watch some very skilled dogs sleeping?
I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam programme I've ever seen.
They say that getting married as a women is like being put on a witness protection programme
The bride gets a new name and a dress.
Why do programmers prefer dark mode?
Because light attracts bugs.
My programmer husband insists he has to be the one to change the channel
He has a lot experience working remote
Old programmers never die
They just don't C as well.
What do NASA programmers do on the weekends?
I used to work as a programmer for autocorrect....
Then they fried me for no raisin.
If a programmer could rearrange the alphabet, they'd put U and I together.
User Interface is important to them.
Said by a sick computer programmer
"I'm just coughing and hacking."
What do the programmers do when they pay respect?
What does a programmer's ghost say?
A programmer's wife tells him: "While you're at the store, get some milk".
Why did the programmer quit his job?
because he didn't get arrays.
Why did the programmer leave his job ?
Because he couldn’t hack it.
What do programmers do when they're hungry?
Why does programmers have perfect vision?
What was the SNES programmers' favorite drink?
Why couldn't the programmer dance to the song?
Because he didn't get the... algo-rhythm...
How does the computer programmer order all her books?
By the Dewey Hexadecimal System!
Children with only a mother make horrible programmers
Theres always missing paren
A programmer gets sent to the store by his wife. His wife says, “Get a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.”
The programmer returns home with 12 gallons of milk and says, “They had eggs.”
edit: I know guys, I know, it’s supposed to be 13, I messed up the wording, please forgive me
How does a programmer get cooler in the summer?
As a programmer, waking up is the 0th thing I do every morning
What you call it when computer programmers make fun of each other?
I've been hiding from doing any exercising.
I'm in the 'Fitness Protection Programme '
Programmers hate roman numerals.
But I can't zero in on why
I am now a succesful programmer
But back in the days I was a noobgrammer
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25
For non-programmers: (octal 31 = decimal 25)
Why did the programmer get a huge telephone bill?
Because his program was CALLING a lot of subroutines.
What do spanish programmers code in?
Which way did the programmer go?
Scientists and programmers have gotten together to write computer code that will not only warn of future global warming but also take credit for inventing the internet.
It's an new Al-Gore-rithm
Why do piano players wear glasses?
What do programmers and exterminators have in common?
They both spend most of their time fighting bugs.
Why did the C++ programmer do so well at his new job as a packaging and design engineer?
Because he was very good at orienting objects.
(Okay this is a really technical dad joke, but isn't that what they're supposed to be?)
What do programmers dance to?
Why was the programmer always running into walls?
I saw a programme on beavers
It was the best dam documentary I ever saw!
Why do programmers like dark mode?
Because light attracts bugs
My friend quit his job as a programmer...
Programmers hate roman numerals.
But I can't zero in on why?
Why do programmers wear glasses?
Which way did the programmer go?
What do spanish programmers code in?
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