After a bad diy project, a load of books fell on my head.
I have only my shelf to blame.
In light of his record with these mega-projects, Elon Musk's proposed new Miami-tunnel gives new meaning to the term
"car-pool tunnel syndrome."
Couldn't believe I got funding for my new bedding and rope project.
Wife: "I accidentally fell asleep while grading my student's projects."
Me: "I guess everyone's getting Z's"
Working on a home construction project and felt like relaxing with drink. Of course it's unsafe to mix alcohol with power tools.
Which is why I mixed my drink with a spoon instead.
Lancelot: Men, this is a project where we all need to work together.
Lancelot: Yes I am.
What do you call a fuzzy ceramics project?
We must create artistic compositions made of various materials glued on a surface for my Art 419 class project...
I guess I'll give it the old collage try.
Count Dracula is a terrible project manager...
... He always avoid the stakeholders.
My daughter's teacher gave her a project to write the English alphabet on slips of paper. Unfortunately 25 letter slips got wrinkled on her way to school.
But atleast she has a smoothie
This Is A Paid advertisement: Have a home project you’re working on? For a limited time, Lowes Home Improvement is now selling Levels 2 for the price of 1!
As a globe restorer, I never turn down projects where I have to fill in missing countries or islands. But missing equators?
That’s when I draw the line.
A good project manager makes updates.
A bad project manager makes up dates.
There are rumors that Tesla is considering on a stretched, three row version of their Model X SUV. The project is on Musk's desk waiting for a decision on whether to go forward.
Their next car is Elon gated.
An eggciting resin art project
My wife threw a saucer at me because I hadn't completed the science project of our kid until then. Interestingly, he won first prize at school for presenting a
How do you call a Photoshop project file that gave you anxiety ?
Paper based puns for a project about turning paper into plastics
The project to restore Big Ben was a bit behind schedule, so the construction company put on a third shift...
Men are now working around the clock.
A brother and sister were working with each other on a science project.
While the sister was working the brother was walking around doing nothing
5 minutes pass
S: You alright
B: Yeah, just bumped into the table
S: Where does it hurt
I’ve been working on a passion project called ‘The Dirtiest Dishes’
What will newborn babies become if the Goverment use them in a secret military project?
They wil be some fine ass Infantry
I’ve almost finished my project on dress shirts.
I’m just buttoning it up now.
Billy turned in his art project and his teacher said “This piece of paper has nothing on it?”
Billy replied “I drew a blank”
Vampires make great project managers
They always try to keep stake holders happy
A music project in the ghetto taught a lot of youngsters to play string instruments. The crime rate dropped significantly.
But now they have a lot of violins
My preschooler’s project — mistletoes
Wouldn't it be cool if you could project cat sounds into other people's heads?
When Manhattan Project workers needed to keep their jobs secret, they would leave and tell their loved ones:
"I'm going on a fission trip."
I made a Dot Plot Graph in 2 minutes for my Science project
It wasn't the most accurate, but it gets the point across.
The next Disney+ project, is a Star Wars/ Back to the Future crossover. Deer Brown gets a bounty hunter to stay in the car.
That way, they'll always have the Manned Delorean available.
Years ago at my first IT startup we thought we'd caught a big break when we were asked to set up the campus network at a major college. However, the project eventually fell through when they failed to secure the necessary funding.
I still think about it sometimes - the WAN that got away.
My family was talking about my sisters project where she had to make a Roman theatre. In it she put some guys stabbing each other, as a demonstration of how plays sometimes consisted of people actually killing each other to make it more realistic.
I mentioned that they used slaves and criminals, since they would have a hard time getting actors to play the part of someone that actually dies, and my dad disagreed.
He said: No, people were dying to have that job.
Sorry if something like this has already been posted.
A husband and wife architect team were planning their next project . . .
The domineering wife thought the house needed a cantilevered balcony while the husband thought that it would ruin the aesthetic of the design. She told him he was an idiot and to keep his mouth shut. His friends hated to see her treat him so badly.
They always said “Why cantilever?”
My child was setting up a science homework project on the dinner table. I swiped the table clean and threw the table outside. He asked "what was that for?"
I said, it's a periodic table. You cant use it right now.
Did you know during the third Reich there was a project to produce energy from a certain type of grain
I'm surprised you never heard of Hitler's rice to power
My friends and I are doing a project on Mars and our group name was, “Deimos! at the Disco”
Because Deimos and Phobos are Mars’s moons.
Phobos means Fear and you can guess what Deimos means
I need to make a project for school. I've decided to make mine about why some men get madder than some women, or vice versa.
It'll be called "The Gender Rage Gap"
A school artwork project..
I need help coming up with “bear” puns for a school project
Trying to think these up has been unbearable