After a bad diy project, a load of books fell on my head.

I have only my shelf to blame.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExtraSure
πŸ“…︎ May 11
🚨︎ report
In light of his record with these mega-projects, Elon Musk's proposed new Miami-tunnel gives new meaning to the term

"car-pool tunnel syndrome."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
🚨︎ report
Couldn't believe I got funding for my new bedding and rope project.

I sheet you knot

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/generiatric123
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
Wife: "I accidentally fell asleep while grading my student's projects."

Me: "I guess everyone's getting Z's"

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
Working on a home construction project and felt like relaxing with drink. Of course it's unsafe to mix alcohol with power tools.

Which is why I mixed my drink with a spoon instead.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BetterThanOP
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
🚨︎ report
Lancelot: Men, this is a project where we all need to work together.

Arthur: Unite?

Lancelot: Yes I am.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fuzzy ceramics project?

Hairy Pottery.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/5YearApril
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
We must create artistic compositions made of various materials glued on a surface for my Art 419 class project...

I guess I'll give it the old collage try.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Count Dracula is a terrible project manager...

... He always avoid the stakeholders.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trickertreater
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter's teacher gave her a project to write the English alphabet on slips of paper. Unfortunately 25 letter slips got wrinkled on her way to school.

But atleast she has a smoothie

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnotherKakkar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
This Is A Paid advertisement: Have a home project you’re working on? For a limited time, Lowes Home Improvement is now selling Levels 2 for the price of 1!

Multi-level marketing

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BHarcade
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
As a globe restorer, I never turn down projects where I have to fill in missing countries or islands. But missing equators?

That’s when I draw the line.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CorbanzoBean69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
A good project manager makes updates.

A bad project manager makes up dates.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
There are rumors that Tesla is considering on a stretched, three row version of their Model X SUV. The project is on Musk's desk waiting for a decision on whether to go forward.

Their next car is Elon gated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arrenlex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
An eggciting resin art project
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeemMaN8682
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife threw a saucer at me because I hadn't completed the science project of our kid until then. Interestingly, he won first prize at school for presenting a

Flying Saucer

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stent_kush
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you call a Photoshop project file that gave you anxiety ?

.ptsd

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Panteros
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Paper based puns for a project about turning paper into plastics
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Red_nl98
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
🚨︎ report
The project to restore Big Ben was a bit behind schedule, so the construction company put on a third shift...

Men are now working around the clock.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A brother and sister were working with each other on a science project.

While the sister was working the brother was walking around doing nothing

5 minutes pass

B: Ow S: You alright B: Yeah, just bumped into the table S: Where does it hurt B: Mitosis

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EMPIREVSREBLES
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve been working on a passion project called β€˜The Dirtiest Dishes’
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MandyMakesIt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What will newborn babies become if the Goverment use them in a secret military project?

They wil be some fine ass Infantry

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zomaima1010
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve almost finished my project on dress shirts.

I’m just buttoning it up now.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Billy turned in his art project and his teacher said β€œThis piece of paper has nothing on it?”

Billy replied β€œI drew a blank”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Vampires make great project managers

They always try to keep stake holders happy

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garboooge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A music project in the ghetto taught a lot of youngsters to play string instruments. The crime rate dropped significantly.

But now they have a lot of violins

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arthur_Decosta
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My preschooler’s project β€” mistletoes
πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Wouldn't it be cool if you could project cat sounds into other people's heads?

Ok, just hear meow...

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
When Manhattan Project workers needed to keep their jobs secret, they would leave and tell their loved ones:

"I'm going on a fission trip."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IncompotentCyborg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I made a Dot Plot Graph in 2 minutes for my Science project

It wasn't the most accurate, but it gets the point across.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Werewolf640
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
The next Disney+ project, is a Star Wars/ Back to the Future crossover. Deer Brown gets a bounty hunter to stay in the car.

That way, they'll always have the Manned Delorean available.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Years ago at my first IT startup we thought we'd caught a big break when we were asked to set up the campus network at a major college. However, the project eventually fell through when they failed to secure the necessary funding.

I still think about it sometimes - the WAN that got away.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kalibabka
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My family was talking about my sisters project where she had to make a Roman theatre. In it she put some guys stabbing each other, as a demonstration of how plays sometimes consisted of people actually killing each other to make it more realistic.

I mentioned that they used slaves and criminals, since they would have a hard time getting actors to play the part of someone that actually dies, and my dad disagreed.

He said: No, people were dying to have that job.

Sorry if something like this has already been posted.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ytrbpt_Hsbom
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
A husband and wife architect team were planning their next project . . .

The domineering wife thought the house needed a cantilevered balcony while the husband thought that it would ruin the aesthetic of the design. She told him he was an idiot and to keep his mouth shut. His friends hated to see her treat him so badly.
They always said β€œWhy cantilever?”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My child was setting up a science homework project on the dinner table. I swiped the table clean and threw the table outside. He asked "what was that for?"

I said, it's a periodic table. You cant use it right now.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InspectorBugNuts
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know during the third Reich there was a project to produce energy from a certain type of grain

I'm surprised you never heard of Hitler's rice to power

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PinappleGecko
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
My friends and I are doing a project on Mars and our group name was, β€œDeimos! at the Disco”

Because Deimos and Phobos are Mars’s moons. Phobos means Fear and you can guess what Deimos means

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I need to make a project for school. I've decided to make mine about why some men get madder than some women, or vice versa.

It'll be called "The Gender Rage Gap"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kalipokai
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
🚨︎ report
A school artwork project..
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Poppamunz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I need help coming up with β€œbear” puns for a school project

Trying to think these up has been unbearable

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ronin861
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report

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