What do you call a software update on an iPhone or and iPad?

An iPatch

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...

...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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What do you call a software engineer who was an English teacher?

A pro-grammar

Was told by a friend's father!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTimeDictator
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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What do Vampire Software Developers Abhor?

Stakeholders.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/evilteach
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Brothers from another software company imgur.com/a/CxatElW
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πŸ‘€︎ u/synapse88
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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- Excel is hands down the best software in Microsoft Office

- Word

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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Did you know that Matthew McConaughey helped design the delivery route software for UPS?

There’s no left turns so it’s alright alright alright.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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Software
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1NS3RTM3M3H3R3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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What do you get when you cross an Austrian city with cyber protection software?

VPNna

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SeekerSpock32
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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What do you call a software engineer doing squats?

A back-end developer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shitty_Orangutan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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Software glitches come free of cost but cost a lot.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-_-STRANGER-_-
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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How did I get into computer software? I was very confused about what to do in university, so I asked my dad... He was wearing a Nike tshirt, and he answered me by pointing at his chest, where this was written: Just do IT.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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Problems in Apple's software shouldn't be called bugs

but worms.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LivyThePooh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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How does Al Gore program music software?

By using Al Gore rhythms.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scherz707
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2018
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How many arrays do you give a software engineer for finishing a feature?

Hip Hip Array! Hip Hip Array! Hip Hip Array!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rine117
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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What do you get when you cross a Software Engineer with an English teacher?

A programmar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SarcasticSirius
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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Tried to make a software that monitors how much one uses their bed...

Had so many bed bugs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pirateking1000
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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Why do software developers always say 'it works on my machine'?

It's a regular expression.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pawailq
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
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I've downloaded a software that simulates a criminal court.

It's the trial version.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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I was caught stealing an image editing software from the store.

I'm now charged with photoshoplifting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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I'm gonna create open sores software...

...and stay on the bleeding edge of technology. But if you don't like my software, you can suture self.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2018
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There was an article about Apple's newest meme locating software

iReddit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lost_In_Spacebar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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Did you hear the guy from Dirty Jobs started a software company?

Mike Rowe Soft

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lexluthzor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
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What happened when the IT guy made an off-color joke about anti virus software?

He was accused of being anti Symantec.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hammerb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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Apple to Release New Software Update for the Visually Impaired: iPatch

>i'm ^sorry ^^i'll ^^^show ^^^^myself ^^^^^out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EstusFiend
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2017
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So I've been worried about this malicious software that locks my computer onto an online bowler's website...

But I guess I'm not the only one worried about the E-Bowler virus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HumanAtlas
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2014
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Did you hear about the treadmill software that got hacked?

Well, everything's running again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Qwerp-Derp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2017
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What do you call the presentation software used by gardeners

Flowerpoint

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordBenners
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2017
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What is the favorite food of software developers?

Copy-pasta.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/analytik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2017
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If you spill your morning drive-through beverage on your virus scan software you've gotten McCafΓ© on McAfee
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crinklesofarc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2016
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From Software missed an opportunity in releasing Dark Souls 3 on March 20, 2016....

The Spring Soulstice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kayneargand
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2015
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A man from Delhi who worked for Microsoft got fired after trying to start his own software company.

He forgot he'd signed a naan-compete.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BarryJertheim
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2015
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I'm taking a forty-day break from spreadsheet software.

I'm Excellent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreatBosh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2016
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We Were Using "R", the Software Environment, in my Stats Class Today

The professor asked us what a pirate's favourite letter was. We all grudgingly answered "R..." in unison. "NAY," he replied. "It's the C!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thewreckage
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2015
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"Our product will be released according to a fixed software schedule"

That's much better than a broken software schedule.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Propane13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2017
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I'm a developer for a software called CAM

My manager sees me working late on the IM. MANAGER: burning the midnight oil? ME: yeah MANAGER: alright, good night and don't let the CAM bugs bite!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_toro
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2014
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I work for a software company with a lot of programmers and the bathroom gets pretty messy...

There's way too much log spam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomwithweather
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2016
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I just pirated some antivirus software

Avast: Ye Matey Edition

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πŸ‘€︎ u/K3R3G3
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2014
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Arguing with your wife is like reading a software license agreement. In the end...

...you ignore it all and click, "I agree"!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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Arguing with my wife is like reading a software license agreement

In the end, I ignore it all and click "I agree".

πŸ‘︎ 139
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...

...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/__Odelay__
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
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Arguing with my wife is like reading a software license agreement...

...in the end, I ignore it all and click "I agree."

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
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Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...

...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2017
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