My compiler is an asshole

He ignores all my comments

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Voldezhur
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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"Is this French just-in-time compiler legit?"

  "Oui oui, c'est  Le JIT."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tqgibtngo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2017
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I interviewed the leading German herb gardeners and compiled their knowledge into a book.

It's called "Wisdom of the Kraut"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hasanowitsch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
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I got you the ultimate compilation
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StalineSexSlave2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
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I'm gonna make a compilation of soothing farting noises

And call it ASsMR

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Y_M_N_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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Compilations of a boxers best knockouts could just be called "[Boxer name] greatest hits"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cfager123
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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What does a coder do when a recursion program fails to compile after several attempts?

He will re-curse it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_am_thatman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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I made a Pun Meme Compilation, Enjoy. youtube.com/watch?v=Mfx67…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coa3CZ
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
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A Marine Biology student was compiling a list of all the sea creatures they could find on Wikipedia. The next day they handed it in to their Professor, who took one look at it and said..

Lacks Cetacean..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irorii
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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Dad's puns compilation

For the record, my dad didn't say any of these. Also, they get kind of weird near the end.

My vacuum sucks, or, rather, doesn't suck.

That drawing looks sketchy. Something about it looks... shady.

Lightbulb is a smart guy. Some might even say he's bright.

"Mmm, cheesy" he says as he takes the macaroni out of the oven.

When entering a planetarium, my father mentioned how he'd like some cookies with his Milky Way.

Oreolas = cookie nipples (Couldn't really think of a way to set this one up that didn't make it even more awkward.)

"Underwear? Under there?" My dad mentioned as he put his pants away.

Edit: If you've any others, share them in the comments!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JB_Big_Bear
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2016
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A nice compilation of dad jokes

/r/dadjokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/somehobo606
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2015
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A compilation of my dads terrible jokes

After seeing Taken:

"Taken? More like this movie has taken all my money!"

After seeing Final destination 5:

"Final Destination? More like, My Final destination is out of the movie theater!"

"Wanna know what my favorite part of the movie was? The credits!"

"The back of my eyelids were more entertaining than that movie."

After telling him about a Slayer concert:

"Slayer? More like, this band is gonna slay all my money!"

After telling him my favorite musical genre is heavy metal:

"Well, i hate heavy metal. I can never lift it!"

These are just a few

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tardersauce12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2013
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My Dad dropped his phone in a cup of coffee...

After a stunned silence...

"At least it runs Java now."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Durangokid97
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2016
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He believed it for years!

As a kid I loved to get the sunday comics from the paper and read Calvin and Hobbes. I loved it so much my parents would get me the compilation books as gifts for birthdays and christmas. I always thought it was funny when Calvin would ask his dad how "x" works. One day my son when he was about 6 years old asked my why some TV shows were in black and white. Inspired by this calvin and hobbes comic where Calvin's dad explains why photos are black and white. http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/ch/1993/ch930919.gif

I decided to do the same thing to my kid. I told him that the world was black and white back then and that things didn't start to become in color for decades later. I got a good chuckle out of it, but because he was so young, I didn't realize that he actually believed it. I soon forgot that I told him the world was black and white. When he was about 11 or 12, one day I got a call from my wife and she asked me, "Did you tell your son that the world used to be black and white?" I start laughing immediately and said yes! How did you know? She said because your son is writing an essay about how the world used to be black and white for school and he asked me what year the world became color. He believed that for like 6 years!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimillett
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2015
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Can you guys help me develop a list of puns with the name "impossible burger?"

So at work recently theres this vegan burger called the impossible burger. when we pack them up we have to label the number of burgers and the name of them. Typically I wouldn't mess with that stuff since it might throw off the person restocking but the containers they put it all in makes it all quite apparent which ones are which burger. Anywho I began making puns on the labels starting with "kim-possible burger" and I wanted to see what you all could come up with. (I also did the small pee-pee burger but that wasn't really a pun). Anyways plz comment what you can think of that would be a pretty cool pun for the list and I will compile it all together. Thanks and regards, Thomas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zhaoneng
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
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A Coffee joke book written by my actual Dad!

Proudly I bring you my Dad’s first joke book! He’s a dad and he compiled all of these hilarious jokes about coffee(possibly the best drink known to man)!

Here’s a few from the book;

-Coffee doesn’t ask me stupid questions... be more like coffee

-Don’t try to please everyone... remember you are NOT Coffee

-My morning coffee gives me the strength to make it to my mid-morning coffee

The Coffee Joke Book

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nichetcher
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
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Programmer's dadjoke

A coworker who is writing documentation about some buggy software was asking me "What do you call that UI element? Is it a sidebar or a pane?"

"It's pretty buggy, so it's definitely a pane"

The split second between the moment she got it and the groan was well worth it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/avelertimetr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2014
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My wife wanted me to pick up some drier sheets from the store

I was compiling a shopping list for things to pick up from the store when I asked my wife if there was anything she could think of to add.

"I don't know... Dryer sheets?"

"Dryer sheets? The ones on the bed right now seem pretty dry, I don't know how much drier the ones at the store will be..."

Classic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhillipFaustus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2015
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I need Fedora puns.

I want to compile a list of fedora puns. I thought maybe you guys could help.

The list so far:

  • Fedora the Explorer

  • Fedoral Sex

  • Fedorable

  • Fedoration

  • Fedoral Offense

If you have any that aren't on the list, please comment with them! Thanks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wyboth
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2013
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