"I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework." Rolling his eyes, my computer science professor shot back, "Really?! Your dog ate your coding assignment?"

"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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My daughter asked me if she should go for computer science or psychology

I told her that whatever she chooses, it's going to be a major difference.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Snoopy007AS
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
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My computer science book has one at the bottom of every page
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Tempsilon
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 12 2019
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The back of my Computer Science textbook
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/A-British-Indian
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 11 2019
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Where do Computer Science Majors go to learn Python?


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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PyrosEnjoyPieHW2
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 15 2016
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MIT's Computer Science PhD application only accepts text files. That's really ASCII a lot, in my opinion.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/markjamesyork
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 07 2016
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Discussing dog training

Sister: We really need to send the dog to puppy school

Me: To what, earn his dogtorate?


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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/magicbakingpowder
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 15 2016
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Science joke build up

I work as a salesman in a call center. We were going over some of the more interesting names weโ€™ve seen and called. Without disclosing the last name my neighbor said oh, you havenโ€™t heard of โ€œCytoplasm XXXXXXXโ€? I answered. The guy is a computer programmer who Iโ€™d imagine changed his name to that unless his parents are that cruel. I start rambling off โ€œCytoplasm?? Of all the organelles in a eukaryotic cell to name yourself you pick cytoplasm?! What about Golgi apparatus, or endoplasmic reticulum?โ€ My manager chimes in โ€œwow you memorized a lot from bioโ€ I told her I went to college for science shit but โ€œnow here I am making phone calls as a professional, thanks collegeโ€ to which my neighbor replies.... โ€œI guess now you could say youโ€™re a PROkaryote

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Fly_MartinZ
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 23 2018
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Science Puns

One of the funniest school puns; science puns

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, theyโ€™d be alloys.

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

If youโ€™re not part of the solution, youโ€™re part of the precipitate.

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, โ€œNo, Iโ€™m traveling light.โ€

Did you just mutate for a stop codon? Because youโ€™re talking nonsense!

How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.

What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics? Woopea!

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? Heโ€™s 0K now.

I wish I was adenine, then, I could get paired with U.

Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says โ€œI think Iโ€™ll have an H2O.โ€ The second one says โ€œI think Iโ€™ll have an H2O tooโ€ โ€” and he died.

A couple of biologists had twins. They named one Jessica and the other Control.

Did you hear the one about the recycling triplets? Their names are Polly, Ethel, and Ian.

Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!

What element is a girlโ€™s future best friend? Carbon.

I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.

What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? I like your โ€œstyle.โ€

Iโ€™m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I canโ€™t put it down.

I have a new theory on inertia but it doesnโ€™t seem to be gaining momentum.

Why canโ€™t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they donโ€™t believe in higher powers.

Schrodingerโ€™s cat walks into a bar. And doesnโ€™t.

Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.

What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies โ€œFor you, no chargeโ€.

Two atoms are walking along. One of them says: โ€œOh, no, I think I lost an electron.โ€ โ€œAre you sure?โ€


... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Punsville
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2017
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Professor told a joke worthy of this subreddit today.

In my computer science course, my very old professor busts this out during a discussion of logic:

"I went to a logic conference once, and the lecturer said, 'it's interesting that a double negative gives you a positive, isn't it? I mean, a double positive doesn't give you a negative.'

Someone from the back of the room scoffed and went, 'yeah, yeah.'"

Half the class chuckled, half the class groaned.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KrimsonAce
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 05 2013
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Got my friend with a Microsoft joke in class

Text conversation between me and my friend in my computer science class while we are doing an excel spreadsheet.

My friend: Hey I really messed up this spreadsheet can you send it to me when you're finished? Me: Yeah sure if I ever finish it haha. My friend: Word thanks Me: No this is Excel.

I could hear her groan from across the room.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/smbfcc
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 25 2016
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Hall monitors...

The other day, my 2 year old son and I went to visit my dad at his new job as a college teacher. As he was giving us a tour, we stopped by the office of the computer science professor to chat. My son saw some computer monitors on the floor in his office and asked "what's that?" To which the computer professor, who is a grandpa himself, replied "those are monitors. Maybe I should set them outside my door, then they'd be HALL monitors!" We three dad's got a good chuckle out of that. My toddler, not so much.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ryguy1984
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 04 2015
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I said to my computer science professor that my dog ate my homework.

When he doubted me, I said, "Well, it took him a couple of bytes."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JDogg323
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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My dog ate my computer science homework

It took him a couple of bytes

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/patmcheese
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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