My neighbor sells home security systems, he's pretty good at it too.

If nobody's home, he just leaves a brochure on the kitchen table

👍︎ 16
👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
📅︎ Mar 22 2020
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I called my boss to tell her I couldn’t get the security system to arm as I locked up the office tonight

She seemed unalarmed...

👍︎ 2
👤︎ u/sockyg
📅︎ Dec 13 2019
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My neighbor installed a security system in his porch that launches intruders into the air, and I could tell he was very happy about it.

There was a spring in his step.

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👤︎ u/FinalCaveat
📅︎ Sep 24 2019
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Someone should start a line of houses with state-of-the-art security systems

Call it "Sure-Lock Homes".

👍︎ 14
👤︎ u/the_jiujitsu_kid
📅︎ May 17 2018
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I'm going to start a company that builds houses with the best security systems on the doors and windows.

I will call it, "Sure-lock Homes".

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👤︎ u/schlagzeug
📅︎ Jan 11 2019
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x-post from /r/talesfromretail. Customer was classic /r/dadjoke material.

I apologize for this wall of text, I didn't know where I should cut out parts because they're all relevant to the story. Sorry again.

Hey TFR people! So for background, I work at a kiosk in a mall where I repair cracked phones and do other mind numbing work that I can now probably do in my sleep. I've been doing this job for a little over two years and can fix an iPhone, for example, in about 15 minutes. I apologize for the wall of text. Anyway, this story happened last night.

So, a family of three walk up (mother, father and daughter) but only the father spoke to me and this is where conversation starts. Note: When I was handed this girls phone she had a case with this image on it and was already about to laugh. Customer will be C and I of course will be Me.

C: How much does it cost to fix my daughters phone and can it be fixed?

Me: Oh it's very repairable, after tax and labor, it comes to $xxx.xx.

C: Do it

Fuck, he's one of these guys...

Me: Alright then, I just need a name and signature on this disclaimer we have.

At this point, I've taken their phone and am prepping to work on it.

C: Do I have to use my real name?

PAUSE Now, over the 2+ years I've worked here, I have never heard this question. So I was kind of taken by surprise by it. For a minute, I thought he was one of those paranoid people. PLAY

Me: Um.. Well I guess you don't have to. It's preferred since we can look you up in our system faster later.

C: Oh ok.

I turn back around and start to use my tools on the phone when customer guy throws me another curve ball question.

C: Can my daughter still play the piano when this is done?

I manage to turn and see him smirking a little and go back to his serious poker face so I pick up that he's joking.

Me: Well I would hope so. Slight laughter

C: Oh ok great! She's never even touched one before so it's good to hear her skill won't change in the slightest.

I'm on the verge of outright laughing at this point. I manage to hold it back and finish my repair. I snap her grumpy cat case back on, hand her phone back when she mentions the home button isn't working.

Oh that's an easy fix

Me: Ah, don't worry. Give me one second and I'll have that fixed.

C: One. Try it now "Insert girls name"

Me: Haha well I haven't done what I need to yet.

I pull out a giant clear bag half full of spare parts.


... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 117
👤︎ u/CountBlah_Blah
📅︎ Jul 16 2014
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