https://puns.dev - The Worst Computer Puns on the Internet
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πŸ‘€︎ u/panthera_services
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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You need an IQ of 200 to get this computer pun.

A band named 1023 MB was very sad, they couldn't get a gig.

This is unoriginal, but it has been reposted so many times i can't even pund it anywhere in the web, I even asked my pet spider where it was orginally found.

Pun 1: >!A gigabyte is actually 1024 MB not 1000 MB!<

Pun 2: >!Spiders makes webs idiot.!<

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoatNoodles1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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My friend made the worst (best) computer pun while talking about how ridiculous 'hacker' images are. imgur.com/z7Cl1rx
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Morganamilo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2015
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The Worst Computer Puns on the Internet

Why don’t Vikings like to send emails?

They prefer to use Norse code!

more dad style computer jokes at https://puns.dev

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πŸ‘€︎ u/panthera_services
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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Computer Puns

How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.


Where’s the best place to hide a body? Page two of Google.


A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.


If it weren’t for C, we’d all be programming in BASI and OBOL.


There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.


In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?


Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.


Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.


Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway.


An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks β€œmay I join you?”


Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?

Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.


Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft… and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.


How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. It’s a hardware problem.


I named my hard drive β€œdat ass” so once a month my computer asks if I want to β€˜back dat ass up’.


I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.


I changed my password to β€œincorrect”. So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say β€œYour password is incorrect”.


A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.


It’s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.


Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didn’t know who he was.


I would like to thank everybody that stuck by my side for those five long minutes my house didn’t have internet.


A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.


Are you a computer whiz? it seems you know how to turn my software to hardwar

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2017
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Please help- Computer pun needed

for a tech class, i need a team name. I want a punny one. Any suggestions?

Edit: thanks so much!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_johnarch
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2014
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The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple with limited memory; just one byte. Then, everything crashed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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I told my boss, β€œSorry I’m late. I was having computer issues.”

Boss: Hard drive?

Me: No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.

I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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How do trees get on a computer?

They just log in. My 7yr old daughter just told me this, so proud!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DIEHARD537
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?

They just ransomware.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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What do you get when you cross a pit bull and a computer?

Not sure !! But when it megabytes, it megahertz.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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The lumberjack loved his computer so much.

He especially liked logging in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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Why are computers smart?

Because they listen to their motherboard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darth_Yohanan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
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Where did the keys on a computer keyboard went to celebrate new years eve

To the space bar !!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DumbA5h
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
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My computer crashed....

Need all the other computers in the house have slowed down so they can see what happened.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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Computer: choose a password. Me: hi-hat

Computer: password cannot contain symbols

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardwithablog
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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What did the router say to the computer?

Wi-five

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shmynyny
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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Why do computers wear glasses?

To improve their web-sight

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Connor0388
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called '1001 cures for itches."

I guess, I've got to start again from scratch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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McDonalds is working with Apple to create a huge gaming computer

They're calling it the Big Mac

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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I had one of the first computers that could talk.....

But this one day, the computer wouldn't stop talking, so I went out and got a Zip drive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dickcheney600
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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I needed to buy curtains for my computer

It had Windows

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Luxara-VI
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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The oldest computer was owned by Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple with very limited memory. Just 1 byte and everything crashed!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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Why did the kid get a virus on his computer?

His windows was cracked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyflyingroomba
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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Did you hear about the computer that caught a virus?

Doc says it’s terminal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaBowserman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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I got a new tablet computer but I'm nervous every time I use it.

I guess you could say I have Surface tension.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/commentonthat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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What do you call a computer that sings..

Adele

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sw33tcheeks427
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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What do you call a singing computer?

A Dell.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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I'm here to fix your computer! reddit.com/gallery/ikq98t
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SunHasReturned
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just one byte. And then everything crashed.

Edits: Thanks for all the awards!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deant_b01
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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What dit the baby computer say to its fater?

Data

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Koevoet91
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I'm tired of typing at my computer.

I'm keybored.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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I replaced my steering wheel with a computer storage device

It was a hard drive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdamThere
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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My wife just threw out our computer, shattering all the glass.

I guess she doesn’t like windows.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xKonings
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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What's the difference between Gordon Ramsay's favorite dish and a slow-running computer?

One is a rack of lamb, the other is a lack of RAM.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?

I think they just ransomware.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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Why was the computer cold?

It forgot to close its windows.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajays97
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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My wife said that if I don't get off the computer she'll slam my head on the keyboard...

...but I think she's jokinfjreoiwjrtwe4to8rkljreun8f4ny84c8y4t58lym4wthylmhawt4mylt4amlathnatyn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MacItaly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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What do you call a computer made by McDonalds?

>!A Big Mac πŸ€“!<

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mildpumpkin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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What do you a call a competition for computers?

A ChampionChip

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πŸ‘€︎ u/charmandernews
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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Is your computer running? Then you'd better catch it!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Classic_Result
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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After turning on my computer in the morning, the first thing I tell myself is β€œI got this!”

I should stop using WebMD as my homepage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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Why was the computer so angry?

It had a chip on its shoulder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VamanaGG
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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I had a problem with my anti-virus program, it kept saying I had 1 virus on my computer.

So I deleted the anti-virus and there weren't any problems any more!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AstroPenguin101
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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What does a baby computer call its father?

Data

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fitzgerald1337
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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What does a baby computer call its father?

Data

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thishotleafjuice
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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