A list of puns related to "Calculator"

When people think of calculators they think the buttons are the most important thing

But it's what's inside that counts

When I was young, I once asked my dad for a pocket calculator, but he said no.

He said, βWho cares how many pockets you have?β

The TSA detained a passenger in possession of a slide rule, compass and calculator...

They said he was carrying weapons of math instruction, and was a member of the Alge-bra movement.

When I were a lad in Yorkshire, my parents could only afford a second hand calculator. It was missing the βXβ button.

Eee, times were hard.

My calculator is missing the minus button....

But on the plus side it still works.

Just wondering, if you push the buttons on a calculator really fast ...

... does it become a calcu-earlier?

I asked my dad if he could buy me a pocket calculator.

He said, βWhy? You donβt know how many pockets you have?β

Girlfriend got mad when I gave her a box full of ants with calculators for valentines day

Don't understand why, she'd always told me it's little things that count?

Where does the evil calculator go when he dies?

1134

Why are calculators so dependable?

Because you can always count on them

I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me...

Wheres the pi?

Weird how my calculator has stopped working...

It just doesn't add up

Why did the protractor marry the calculator?

It was a math made in heaven.

I got a really ugly looking calculator for Christmas.

But it is what is on the inside that counts.

I have an old calculator thatβs missing the minus button.

But on the plus side, it still works.

I might buy you an exploding calculator...

But don't count on it.

I gave my son a calculator named βThoughtβ.

Itβs the thought that counts.

I'm trying to work out a complicated maths equation with a broken calculator

But itβs only adding to the problem

I found a box of discarded calculators and I just had to rescue them because...

Every calculator counts.

Everyone is so surprised after getting hit by a calculator...

... I guess they weren't counting on it

My best friend ia a calculator...

Iβve always been able to count on him.

Is* in the title.

Why did I get a tattoo of a calculator?

So you can always count on me.

My calculator broke today,

Canβt count on that

I don't know why people carry pocket calculators

I can tell how many pockets I have without one.

I think the Calculator is behind the murder of my mother

Everything just adds up.

What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?

A friend you can count on!

This old calculator might not look like much...

But it's what's inside that counts.

My son said his calculator wasn't working earlier in the day but it works now.

I said it was because it was a calcu-later.

I took out my calculator and the plus button was missing.

Something doesnβt quite add up.

Trust your calculator

It's something you can count on.

My son was not allowed to use a calculator for his math homework.

He said that they were mind numbers

I'll use a calculator, I'll use a protractor, I'll use an eraser, and I'll use a compass...

But a ruler? That's where I draw the line.

You'll never have a more reliable friend than a calculator

You can always count on them

I was thinking of buying a pocket calculator.

but then I thought, "who cares how many pockets I have?"

Trust your calculator.

~~It's something to count on.~~
You can count on it.

Edit: 30% more dad added to joke. Thank you u/next2nothing_

Calculators should have been called Arith-omatics

Calculators can be pretty unreliable

But you can always count on your hands

My daughter's calculator didn't function anymore.

I told her to press F(x) to pay respect

*Hits you with calculator

Bet you werenβt counting on that.

So I lost my calculator in math class today

I guess you could say I was calculess.

What did the calculator say to the student?

You can count on me!

Did some early back-to-school shopping, and my dad told me to buy the ugliest calculator.

I asked him why and he said,

"Because it's what's inside that counts."

I went to pick up my calculator off a table last Monday, only to drop it on the floor.

I looked at the guy next to me and said,

"Miscalculated."

My calculator hates me.

I was doing some math problems in class, and got annoyed at one problem I forgot how to do. I let out a quiet "Fuck you" under my breath at the calculator.

My best friend who was sitting next to me heard me, and said, "Maybe the calculator wouldn't be so mean to you if you stopped pushing its buttons."

We cracked up and immediately repeated the joke to everyone around us, who were disappointed in her lame (awesome) joke.

My friend is a teenage girl. Not a father. Maybe there's a dad hidden in us all....

My calculator is missing the minus button.

But on the plus side, ...it still works.

My calculator is missing the minus button.

But on the plus side,...it still works.

What do you get when you cross a calculator and a friend?

A friend you can count on!

Trust your calculator

It's something to count on

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