When people think of calculators they think the buttons are the most important thing

But it's what's inside that counts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hungrysamy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
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When I was young, I once asked my dad for a pocket calculator, but he said no.

He said, β€œWho cares how many pockets you have?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 19
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The TSA detained a passenger in possession of a slide rule, compass and calculator...

They said he was carrying weapons of math instruction, and was a member of the Alge-bra movement.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 22
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When I were a lad in Yorkshire, my parents could only afford a second hand calculator. It was missing the β€˜X’ button.

Eee, times were hard.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
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My calculator is missing the minus button....

But on the plus side it still works.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gbuckingham89
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
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Just wondering, if you push the buttons on a calculator really fast ...

... does it become a calcu-earlier?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
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I asked my dad if he could buy me a pocket calculator.

He said, β€œWhy? You don’t know how many pockets you have?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
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Girlfriend got mad when I gave her a box full of ants with calculators for valentines day

Don't understand why, she'd always told me it's little things that count?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alliswellinnz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
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Where does the evil calculator go when he dies?

1134

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bach563
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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Why are calculators so dependable?

Because you can always count on them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me...

Wheres the pi?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zamas2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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Weird how my calculator has stopped working...

It just doesn't add up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mtcarr79
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
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Why did the protractor marry the calculator?

It was a math made in heaven.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/urak47
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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I got a really ugly looking calculator for Christmas.

But it is what is on the inside that counts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
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I have an old calculator that’s missing the minus button.

But on the plus side, it still works.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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I might buy you an exploding calculator...

But don't count on it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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I gave my son a calculator named β€œThought”.

It’s the thought that counts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedditingDino
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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I'm trying to work out a complicated maths equation with a broken calculator

But it’s only adding to the problem

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πŸ‘€︎ u/asussed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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I found a box of discarded calculators and I just had to rescue them because...

Every calculator counts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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Everyone is so surprised after getting hit by a calculator...

... I guess they weren't counting on it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hot-d0g-Water
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
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My best friend ia a calculator...

I’ve always been able to count on him.

Is* in the title.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reptarticle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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Why did I get a tattoo of a calculator?

So you can always count on me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteWalterBlack
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
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My calculator broke today,

Can’t count on that

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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I don't know why people carry pocket calculators

I can tell how many pockets I have without one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ifcarscouldspeak
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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I think the Calculator is behind the murder of my mother

Everything just adds up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OvidM2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
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What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?

A friend you can count on!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Andyh10s
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
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This old calculator might not look like much...

But it's what's inside that counts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mlorimer1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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My son said his calculator wasn't working earlier in the day but it works now.

I said it was because it was a calcu-later.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudecancode
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
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I took out my calculator and the plus button was missing.

Something doesn’t quite add up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2018
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Trust your calculator

It's something you can count on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/8thDragonball
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2018
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My son was not allowed to use a calculator for his math homework.

He said that they were mind numbers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Byumbyum
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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I'll use a calculator, I'll use a protractor, I'll use an eraser, and I'll use a compass...

But a ruler? That's where I draw the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nzsmartass
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
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You'll never have a more reliable friend than a calculator

You can always count on them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/turtleforeskin88
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2017
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I was thinking of buying a pocket calculator.

but then I thought, "who cares how many pockets I have?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rozzelsniff
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2014
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Trust your calculator.

It's something to count on. You can count on it.

Edit: 30% more dad added to joke. Thank you u/next2nothing_

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ROTFLandmines
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2017
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Calculators should have been called Arith-omatics
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuprK1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
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Calculators can be pretty unreliable

But you can always count on your hands

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeKingPoe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2017
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My daughter's calculator didn't function anymore.

I told her to press F(x) to pay respect

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MC_Kloppedie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2017
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*Hits you with calculator

Bet you weren’t counting on that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/basicsaltine
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2017
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So I lost my calculator in math class today

I guess you could say I was calculess.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kab1kab1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2017
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What did the calculator say to the student?

You can count on me!

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2017
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Did some early back-to-school shopping, and my dad told me to buy the ugliest calculator.

I asked him why and he said,

"Because it's what's inside that counts."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MistaSnowman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2016
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I went to pick up my calculator off a table last Monday, only to drop it on the floor.

I looked at the guy next to me and said,
"Miscalculated."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nesano
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2014
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My calculator hates me.

I was doing some math problems in class, and got annoyed at one problem I forgot how to do. I let out a quiet "Fuck you" under my breath at the calculator.

My best friend who was sitting next to me heard me, and said, "Maybe the calculator wouldn't be so mean to you if you stopped pushing its buttons."

We cracked up and immediately repeated the joke to everyone around us, who were disappointed in her lame (awesome) joke.

My friend is a teenage girl. Not a father. Maybe there's a dad hidden in us all....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumbest_genius
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2014
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My calculator is missing the minus button.

But on the plus side, ...it still works.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
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My calculator is missing the minus button.

But on the plus side,...it still works.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
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What do you get when you cross a calculator and a friend?

A friend you can count on!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XLeoInTheDarkX
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2016
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Trust your calculator

It's something to count on

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bluemith
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2017
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