Engineer puns

Shoot out all your engineer/engineering puns, fellas!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/punsnproses
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2012
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I was having problems with the printer at work last week and I had to ring the engineer. I told him that I kept putting paper in to the printer but the display kept saying it just can't get enough...

The engineer said "ah yes.... it's stuck in Depeche Mode"....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobbylake71
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
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How can you tell an Engineer is an extrovert?

They are looking at your shoes when they talk to you instead of their own.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Corpsman223
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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You know I hate engineer students sometimes

For example I hate it when engineer students call themself engineers like you don't hear med students calling themself doctors or art students calling themself unemployed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/worthrone11160606
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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How did the detective figure out who the engineer murdered?

He found his locomotive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiltebeest
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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What do you call a software engineer who was an English teacher?

A pro-grammar

Was told by a friend's father!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTimeDictator
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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What did the sound engineer say on his last day of work?

Audios

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonjourkoala
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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Any engineers here? My trans sister is one.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mak_101
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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after the dam failed, the engineer thought he'd lost his job for sure

but at the performance review he was consoled by his boss, "it's all just water under the bridge"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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An unemployed engineer opens a clinic..

An engineer who was unemployed for a long time decided to open a medical clinic. He puts a sign outside the clinic: "A cure for your ailment guaranteed at $500; we'll pay you $1,000 if we fail."

A Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic.

Doctor: "I have lost my sense of taste."

Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Doctor: "This is Gasoline!"

Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

The Doctor gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days later to recover his money.

Doctor: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Doctor: "But that is Gasoline!"

Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

The Doctor leaves angrily and comes back after several days, more determined than ever to make his

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tonheatz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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Two wifi engineers got married.

Their reception was fantastic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/behrkon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.

It's Groundbreaking work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Zenchi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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My dad just told me this one: Two WiFi engineer friends of mine just got married.

The wedding was ok, but the reception was fantastic!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StefanE30325i
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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I have a russian friend who’s a sound engineer.

And a Czech one too, and a Czech one too.

Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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I heard that scientist are trying to genetically engineer a pig to have wings.

It seems far fetched to me. I'll believe it when pigs fly

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fukurslf
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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I know a Russian Sound Engineer

And a Czech one too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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My friend from high school became an engineer or something.

He would design vehicles and stuff like no other.

One day he called me and said he had a very special design planned for his next vehicle.

So I asked him: "What's the big design you're working on?"

He said: "Its a secret. You'll find out later."

A few months later, he sends me a picture of this amazing motorbike that's entirely made of wood and nothing else. I called him back and told him I really liked it and if I could ride it.

He replied in a deep and depressing voice: "You can't I'm sorry. I threw it away."

I asked him why he threw away such a masterpiece he worked so hard to make.

He replied: "I tried everything..... But it just wooden start!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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Why aren’t train engineers made of copper

Because, the. They’d really be conductors.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/actsparkles
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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3 engineers were arguing about who designed the human body

1: it has to be a CompSci engineer, judging by the brain’s complexity

2: you’re wrong, it was a Mechanics engineer, look at the muscle and skeleton systems working as one

3: you’re both wrong, it was an Urban Planner, otherwise waste and entertainment areas wouldn’t be adjacent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AstharothaZe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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TIL that academy award winning actor Bruce Dern was originally a train engineer.

Dern tootin’!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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The engineer installed a motor too powerfull in the moving stairway

It escalated very quickly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/midy-dk
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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What did the train engineer say when the electric chair didn’t work on him?

β€œI guess I’m just a good conductor”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lichiiiii
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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My father was an electrical engineer. I'm not one, but I like to work with electronics.

It's in the wiring.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackFunk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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I have a Russian friend who's a sound engineer...

And a Czech one, and a Czech one too

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dt2703
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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A train engineer believed a hospital ship was the site of secret government conspiracy and decides to ram it with his train.

Now that's what I call a loco-motive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KROMATIXX_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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My son wants to be a fan engineer...

They really blow him away!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdeptIndividual19
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
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I can't believe they gave that engineer who wrecked the train in New York the electric chair. And he survived it!

I guess he just wasn't a very good conductor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/59boomer59
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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Do locomotive engineers ever actually do their job?

Or are they always just training?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justshtmypnts
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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I have a Polish friend who is a sound engineer

And a Czech one, too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tonycocacola
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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A princess wants to choose her future husband. Her engineers create a maze full of deadly traps. After the struggle, four princes survive. The first three have both their hands cut off. The fourth one still has one hand left. Which one will she choose?

She will chose the fourth prince: he's the most hand-some.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danielsoft1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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A computer engineer came to my house. I said, "I can't get aroused by programs and other operating information on my machine."

He said, "Software?"

I said, "In my pants."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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Welcome to engineer (from /r/geek)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2018
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How do you know if an IT Storage Engineer is doing their job?

Because the are making a beeping noise - beep! beep! beep! because they are are backing up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maximusheadroom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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Why did the engineer create a robot fish?

He wanted more e-fish in sea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gecko_echo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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I put the new engineer in charge of driving the locomotive despite without having lessons on how to drive it...

I figured he would do well with on the job training. He went off the rails and wrecked. I don't need to mention about his conduct during the process.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
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What do you call a software engineer doing squats?

A back-end developer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shitty_Orangutan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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What did the Railroad Engineer say to his apprentice?

You need more training.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FaceInTheCloudz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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Railroad engineers are great at their jobs.

They have a lot of training

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FeedbackUSA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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Why did the C++ programmer do so well at his new job as a packaging and design engineer?

Because he was very good at orienting objects.

(Okay this is a really technical dad joke, but isn't that what they're supposed to be?)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jarvedttudd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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Just started listening to a podcast hosted by two chemical engineers.

Most of what they say goes over my head, but they gave great chemistry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chukwa_2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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A train engineer pled insanity for wrecking the train.

That was his loco-motive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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I have a Polish friend who has a job as a sound engineer...

I have a Czech one too...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2017
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... You other engineers can't deny [M]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/euanwmcgill
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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Being an elevator engineer has its ups and downs.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RuneShine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2018
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You know I hate engineer students sometimes.

For example I hate it when engineer students call themself engineers like you don't hear med students calling themself doctors or art students calling themself the next hitler

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πŸ‘€︎ u/worthrone11160606
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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I have a Polish friend who is a sound engineer.

I have a Czech one, too

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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I have a russian friend who's a sound engineer.

And a Czech one too, and a Czech one too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skylly100
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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I have a polish friend who is a sound engineer. and a Czech one too, Czech one too, Czech one too
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBreadSkeleton
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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