Scientists have discovered that, on occasion, an octopus will "punch" a fish for no reason other than spite
That's called Toxic Molluskulinity.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms at all?
Because they make up everything.
At 2:00PM a NASA scientist passes out....
After he is revived the medics find out the last time he ate was at breakfast. They determine that he had a "failure to lunch."
So scientists says that students need to sleep 8 - 10 hours
How do you tell a scientist he smells?
Scientists have discovered a way to walk through walls....
Scientists have developed a microscopic needle that is too small to be seen by the naked eye...
I just don't see the point.
Scientists in Dublin are assisting in the research for a covid vaccine.
They are known as the Fighting Virish
NASA scientists say it may be possible to live on Mars.
What a load of rubbish, I tried it and now I'm five stones heavier and diabetic.
I need help following up with this pun, this is a video about a scientist giving a lecture about fire, I can’t think of any more other than pun-ch line
What do you call an angry scientist?
Scientists have realised that trees have a way of communicating with each other...
An epidemiologist, a scientist and a doctor walk into a bar...
...just kidding, they know better.
Why do scientists suck at pulling pranks?
They lack the element of surprise!
So scientists finally discovered a fossilised dinosaur butt. For it to survive intact all that time...
It must have been a megasaurus.
What did scientists call the shovel when it was first created?
A ground-breaking discovery
Scientist are hot!
They probably have a thousand degrees!
Scientists have finally discovered exactly how much sleep a human needs?
What do scientists use to freshen their breath?
Scientists have proven that diarrhea is hereditary
Yep. They've found that it runs in your jeans.
The rocket scientists finally figured out what when wrong with their missile launch ...
Turns out it was a case of projectile dysfunction.
South Korean scientists created an artificial star for 20 seconds...
It's a whole new take on Asian Fusion.
Why did the bacterial scientist quit his job?
Did you hear about the fashionable scientist who can design your baby to your specifications?
They are always bragging about their designer jeans
Scientists finally had success breeding a donkey and a coyote!
They named it Don Quixote.
Scientists developed a male birth control gel but it only targets the X/Y chromosome
Theyre calling it "Son-Block"
What do you call a scientist who studies avian sexuality?
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
I told my kids, "Did you know Albert Einstein had a brother that was an evil scientist who created a monster from body parts and his name was…"
Scientists have recently recorded the sounds of two helium atoms laughing
When the scientist wanted to clone a deer ...
he bought a doe it yourself kit.
Scientists found out..
right after somebody showed them the exit.
Scientists got bored after watching the Earth turn after 24 hours
Scientists have discovered that bees are learning to conserve energy by gliding on the air...
They think they're evolving into frisbees.
Scientists have discovered a new dinosaur species that inhabited East Asia.
Scientists have grown vocal chords in a Petrie dish
The results speak for themselves
A scientist sits down with some colleagues at the lab cafeteria:
"Oh hi Bill! We were just discussing the promiscuous mating habits of blood-sucking arachnids." Bill abruptly grabs his tray and stands up to leave.
"Sorry guys. I don't discuss poly ticks at work."
A scientist once froze himself at absolute zero.
Archaeologists found traces of Trinitrotoluene in a T-Rex skeleton. Scientists have since determined that T-Rex's muscles used the compound to function.
Scientists have discovered a new element in the periodic table.
The element will be represented by the letters AH. This is of course the element of surprise.
What do a world-renowned scientist and a grazing cow have in common?
They are both out-standing in their fields.
When scientists have a sense of humor
Scientists recently performed an experiment to figure out the gender of an ant. They would place them in a tub of water.
If they sank, girl ant. If they floated, buoyant.
Scientists have found a way to detect HIV using sound
They call the device hearing aids
Scientists have finally discovered exactly how much sleep a human needs...
An epidemiologist, a scientist, and a doctor walk into a bar...
Just kidding, they know better.
Scientists record the sound of two helium atoms laughing.
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