Where did they send the physicist who was convicted of terrorism?
What do Quantum physicists do for a living?
Work on little things, here and there.
True story: My girlfriend just asked me if I knew any good jokes about physicists (my profession). I said yes, but they were all about physicists' dating lives.
So they're pretty much all one-liners.
A physicist sees a guy standing on the edge of a rooftop
He immediately shouts: Don't do it! You have so much potential!
A physicist sees a man about to jump off of the Empire State Building...
He yells,” Don’t do it, you have too much potential”
How did Pakistan's Nobel Laureate physicist Abdus Salam respond to greetings?
Yes, that's me. Is that it?
Why are physicists so serious all the time?
They understand the gravity of the situation.
What does a quantum physicist call a bisexual person?
What do you call the child of 2 physicists?
Physicist: how to imagine 10-dimensional spacetime?
Mathematician: imagine n-dimensional spacetime first and then let n=10.
My physicist friend was working on a research when he suddenly stopped and started playing bongos
I asked, are you fine-man?
My physicist girlfriend told me that she loves me to the moon and back.
I’m worried she means displacement, not distance.
What is the first name of italian physicist Volta?
What did the physicist give his wife for their anniversary?
I'm looking for some female physicists to start a band
It's gonna be called The Space Girls
Why did the physicist name his dog nature?
Because nature abhors a vacuum
What do you call a Nuclear Physicist planning for the future?
Do you ever just flux on physicists?
Which is the favourite animal of a physicist that likes dinosaurs?
What does a physicist say as he drives around a fast corner
Why didn't the Jewish physicist know how often Christmas is celebrated?
Because if you don't observe something, you can't be sure of its frequency.
Physicists never get too close to skeletons.
They prefer their spooky action to be at a distance.
What is a physicists favorite food?
A physicist, a statistician, and a mathematician go deer hunting together.
They see a deer, so the physicist takes a shot and misses 3 feet to the left. The mathematician takes a shot and misses 3 feet to the right. The statistician puts his gun down, and yells “good job guys! We hit!”.
(Technically a joke from my professor, but it felt very fitting here).
Why do physicists prefer German bars?
...because they love ein stein.
A Physicist and a Biologist had a relationship....
But there was no Chemistry
Why was the particle physicist still hungry after the Italian full-course meal?
Instead of antipasto, they served antipasta.
What did the Nuclear Physicist have for lunch?
Did you hear about the physicist who ran the 100 meters wearing only suspenders?
What sound did the physicist make when he fell down?
Wish these physicists would stop ducking around
Why did the physicist have to go to drug rehab?
Is there a really famous Celtic optical physicist...
...who credits his success to the luck of the iris?
Why couldn't the lab assistant understand the wet nuclear physicist?
Because he was soakin' fusing.
I cannot wait for the next Quantum Physicist triathlon...
I'm going to stand beside the bikes and yell out their speeds. They'll get so lost they'll end back at the starting line.
A physicist sees a man about to jump off a building. He says, "Stop, you have so much potential!"
A physicist see a man about to jump from a ledge. He yells.
"Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
A physicist sees a yound men who wants to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells: “Don't jump! You have so much potential!”
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State building.
"Don't do it!!" he yelled. "You have so much potential!"
My physicist wife keeps telling me that she loves me to the moon and back.
I’m not sure whether she means distance, or displacement.
My physicist wife keeps telling me she loves me to the moon and back.
I wonder whether she means distance or displacement.
Why did the physicist broke up with biologist?
There was no Chemistry between them.
a physicist and a biologist had a relationship
but there was no chemistry