A group of physicists came to my restaurant today, ate then explained what the force required to accelerate a mass of one gram at a rate of one centimeter per second squared is. Then when my attention was elsewhere, they all left, leaving behind a bunch of hyphens...

I should have known they'd dyne and dash.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
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A biologist, a physicist and a chemist visit the beach...

The biologist is so amazed at the marine life that they walk into the ocean never to be seen again.

The physicist is so amazed by fluid dynamics that they walk into the ocean, never to be seen again.

The chemist looks at the ocean, picks up a stick and writes a simple observation in the sand. "Biologists and physicists are soluble in water."

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tadashi4
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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Physicists are playing hide and seek in the afterlife. It's Einstein turn to seek. He counts to 100, turns around and notices Newton in a 1m*1m square. Hah, Newton, I found you!

See Einstein, the problem here is that you discovered Pascal!

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zsozso01
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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A physicist sees a guy standing on the edge of a rooftop

He immediately shouts: Don't do it! You have so much potential!

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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Where did they send the physicist who was convicted of terrorism?

Quantumamo Bay.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keel_zuckerberg
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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A physicist sees a man about to jump off of the Empire State Building...

He yells,” Don’t do it, you have too much potential”

πŸ‘︎ 147
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MCVeteran69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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Why are physicists so serious all the time?

They understand the gravity of the situation.

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivegot_back
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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What do you call the child of 2 physicists?

The aftermath.

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TestSubject_02
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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My physicist girlfriend told me that she loves me to the moon and back.

I’m worried she means displacement, not distance.

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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What did the physicist give his wife for their anniversary?

Joule-ery

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2ssenmodnar4
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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What is the first name of italian physicist Volta?

Johntra

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dylandog76
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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Why did the physicist name his dog nature?

Because nature abhors a vacuum

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/masonwyattk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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Why didn't the Jewish physicist know how often Christmas is celebrated?

Because if you don't observe something, you can't be sure of its frequency.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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Which is the favourite animal of a physicist that likes dinosaurs?

Velocity-raptor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NYOOK1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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Why did the physicist broke up with biologist?

There was no Chemistry between them.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/swapnil86
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2018
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Why was the particle physicist still hungry after the Italian full-course meal?

Instead of antipasto, they served antipasta.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2018
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What did the Nuclear Physicist have for lunch?

Fission Chips

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Intelligenttrees
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2013
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Did you hear about the physicist who ran the 100 meters wearing only suspenders?

He won the Nobelt Prize.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/X_Irradiance
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2017
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What sound did the physicist make when he fell down?

Planck!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/datcountryUlm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2017
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Why did the physicist have to go to drug rehab?

He was addicted to math.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhriXion
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2017
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Why couldn't the lab assistant understand the wet nuclear physicist?

Because he was soakin' fusing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomatillojoe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2015
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I cannot wait for the next Quantum Physicist triathlon...

I'm going to stand beside the bikes and yell out their speeds. They'll get so lost they'll end back at the starting line.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djnewton123
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2013
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A physicist sees a yound men who wants to jump off the Empire State Building.

He yells: β€œDon't jump! You have so much potential!”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LunorVoHarden
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State building.

"Don't do it!!" he yelled. "You have so much potential!"

πŸ‘︎ 220
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πŸ‘€︎ u/derawin08
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2017
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My physicist wife keeps telling me that she loves me to the moon and back.

I’m not sure whether she means distance, or displacement.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
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My physicist wife keeps telling me she loves me to the moon and back.

I wonder whether she means distance or displacement.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2018
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