My new neighbour asked what I did for a living, and I told her that I'm an existentialist philosopher...
Her: "So what does that mean, you just sit around thinking about being all day?"
Me: "No, some days I also think about nothing."
π︎ 16
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︎ May 11 2021
What is the philosopher's favorite element?
Plato-nium
π︎ 11
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︎ Mar 23 2021
I guess I know what those philosophers said when they ate bread for the first time
π︎ 3
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︎ Apr 08 2021
What did the nomad philosopher say?
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 18 2021
Who is the hungriest philosopher?
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 27 2021
My favorite Star Wars character is a philosopher
π︎ 9
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︎ Jan 12 2021
Why did the philosopher quit his job as a pilot?
He wanted to reach a different plane of existence
π︎ 4
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︎ Feb 25 2021
Someone asked me to name a greater philosopher than Nietzsche.
π︎ 14
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︎ Nov 14 2020
Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher, but no one mentions his sister
Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol
π︎ 654
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︎ Jul 24 2020
What philosopher appealed to only a small, select group of people?
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 12 2020
I taught my kid to speed read today. He read Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone in 3 hours!
I know its only 6 words.. but its a start!
π︎ 68
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︎ Sep 22 2020
Drinking beer with a philosopher....
Makes you nothing Budweiser.
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 05 2020
Which philosopher do cows love the most?
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 15 2020
Why do marine biologists make good philosophers?
Because they spend their lives search for porpoise.
π︎ 18
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︎ Oct 18 2020
My favorite philosopher
π︎ 21
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︎ Sep 08 2020
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
.
...or was it Sock-rates?
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︎ May 22 2020
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a philosopher?
An offer you can't understand.
π︎ 19
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︎ Jun 28 2020
What is it called when you spend an hour in the bookstore browsing for German philosophers?
π︎ 9
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︎ Jun 16 2020
I found a specific hobby of adding alliteration to German philosophersβ names
Glad I found my Nietzsche niche
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 24 2020
I taught my kid speed reading and Iβm proud to say that he managed to finish βHarry Potter and the Philosopherβs Stoneβ in an hour and a half.
I know itβs only six words, but itβs a start.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Sep 29 2018
What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?
π︎ 13
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︎ May 22 2020
What do you call a philosopher who is unable to do anything?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 29 2020
Me, trying to sound smart: So, who is your favorite philosopher?
Her: Itβs Hume.
Me: Sorry, whom is your favorite philosopher?
π︎ 255
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︎ Dec 28 2018
Did you hear about the incredibly average philosopher?
His name was mediocrates.
π︎ 34
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︎ Sep 09 2019
What do you call a flirtatious philosopher?
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 29 2020
He was the greatest philosopher of the canine community.
π︎ 17
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︎ Apr 18 2019
What did the photocopier philosopher say?
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 21 2019
Who was the fastest philosopher?
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 22 2020
What is the name of the greatest philosopher to ever live?
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 04 2019
I was asked to give the first initial and last name of my favorite philosopher
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︎ Feb 06 2017
Greek philosophers have strange names
π︎ 6
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︎ Jan 20 2019
How did they recover the frozen philosopher from the ice?
The process was simple; it was well thought out.
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 18 2019
Philosophers have really good....
Depth perception
This is deep
π︎ 5
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︎ May 07 2019
What is the english philosopherβs favourite food
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 21 2019
Which philosopher was the best footballer?
π︎ 11
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︎ Jan 29 2019
If you're thinking of becoming a philosopher, be mindful of many things.
π︎ 17
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︎ Nov 12 2018
π︎ 100
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︎ Dec 09 2017
The philosopher of shit-talking.
π︎ 21
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︎ Oct 04 2018
Who was the worlds youngest philosopher?
π︎ 8
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︎ May 24 2018
What did the philosopher say when he fell overboard?
I sink, therefore I swam.
π︎ 7
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︎ Apr 20 2019
Jack Sparrow would be a great philosopher
His thoughts are very depp
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 01 2019
My grandfather was a philosopher
π︎ 3
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︎ May 19 2019
You may think philosophers are more helpful than archaic forms of transportation,
but I think you're putting Decartes before the horse.
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︎ Mar 11 2018
Most philosophers can do anything they set their minds to
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 23 2018
Who was the most succint and to the point ancient Greek philosopher?
π︎ 2
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︎ Jun 12 2018
I am teaching my kid speed reading and Iβm proud to say that he managed to finish βHarry Potter and the Philosopherβs Stoneβ in an hour and a half.
I know itβs only six words, but itβs a start.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Nov 26 2019
What do you call a mean philosopher?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 23 2019
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