What’s the saying for when your protein powder gets spilled on your legal documents which divide all of your property after death?
Where there’s a will, there’s a whey.
If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US, he will be rolling in his grave.
Okay, seriously people, calm down. There's no need to tailgate me when I'm doing 120 mph, over twice the legal speed limit. Just pass me already.
Oh, and by the way, those flashing lights on top of your car look really stupid.
I made it a goal to become a legal citizen of Finland.
And I am not going to quit until I am Finish!
My dairy farmer uncle died leaving written legal instruction for me to inherit a single gallon of cheese production byproduct. Makes sense, because...
Where there's a will, there's a whey.
I'm in a bit of legal trouble, I guess I should call -
In return for helping him with his legal fees, my neighbor made me a seafood dinner.
You could call it a squid pro quo.
So apparently this is legal in wrestling.
What's the legal description when a midget is killed?
Which musical instrument is most likely to take legal action against the others?
I took my daughter to adopt a cat at the shelter. I was surprised we had to sign an itemized legal contract with expected costs. When I told the clerk I thought rescuing a cat would be free...
She told me ”Dad, If you want a cat, you should expect a fee line.” I’m so proud!
I need a special pair of spectacles to read legal documents...
I was attending a noisy legal hearing, and the Judge started yelling, “Order! Order in the courtroom!”
So I said, “A pastrami on rye, please.”
If marijuana was legal everywhere...
I made it a goal to become a legal citizen of Finland and I’m not gonna quit til I’m Finish
I was reading a piece of fan fiction about a girl so beautiful, all the heroes wanted to make her their wife, yet so powerful, no villain dared fighting her. They rather sought legal action against her.
Had to lay it down, I can't stand these marry/sue charakters.
I prefer to print my manuscript on "letter" paper than on "legal" size
This Wednesday, pot is becoming legal here in Canada. For people ranking international travel destinations,
Canada should be high in your list of priorities.
I went to Cole's this morning to buy cabbage, apparently its a legal requirement for me to also purchase carrots and mayonnaise when purchasing cabbage.
I got arrested for taking notes at a concert. Is that legal?
Bill and his friend Dave both needed to get some legal documents notarized
Bill and his friend Dave both needed to get some legal documents notarized, so they went to the notary together. Bill asked the notary if he could go first because Dave had quite a few items and Bill had one. The notary said, “Sorry. You sign affidavit.”
I needed a lawyer, so a friend referred me to his legal counsel. But I'm having a really hard time getting in touch with the guy.
A. Goodman is hard to find.
Did you know it's legal to hunt albino deer?
The law says it's fair game.
Is it legal to wear snakes on your head?
I'm asking for a friend of mine. Medusanal purposes only.
The guy from U2 is helping me with a legal case...
He's not charging for his services. It's pro bono.
"Hey, what's the only company that has had a legal monopoly for years?"
Made a legal dad joke!
I work part time as a court clerk.
So I'm sitting in with the judge and another employee about a citation for a person who had a dog off leash and out of a fenced area cited for "running at large" so I asked "so if it's a small dog are they cited for 'running at small'?"
Uncle: "You know the Bavarian Purity Laws that regulate the ingredients in German beer? In Vienna they have similar laws regulating pastry."
Me: "Oh really? Cake laws?"
Uncle: "Actually, they call them Torte Laws."
"I've never had an accident and I never will," said Tom recklessly.
"And then the man took off his shoes to prove he had 11 toes, and I lost the bet," Tom recounted.
"Yes, I'm starting a legal business," Tom affirmed.
More in /R/TomSwifties reddit.com/r/TomSwifties
Dadjoked by a legal opinion
From a trademark case filed by Zatarain's (the jambalaya guys) regarding competitor's "Chicken Fry" and "Fish Fry". Zatarain's lost at the district level and appealed.
"Battered, but not fried, Zatarain's appeals from the adverse judgment on several grounds."
I audibly groaned.
If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US,
He will be rolling in his grave.
If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US, ....
He will be rolling in his grave.