What’s the saying for when your protein powder gets spilled on your legal documents which divide all of your property after death?

Where there’s a will, there’s a whey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadowlast
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
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If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US, he will be rolling in his grave.
πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jarl_draven
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
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Okay, seriously people, calm down. There's no need to tailgate me when I'm doing 120 mph, over twice the legal speed limit. Just pass me already.

Oh, and by the way, those flashing lights on top of your car look really stupid.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acromantulus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
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I made it a goal to become a legal citizen of Finland.

And I am not going to quit until I am Finish!

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmahler0514
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
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My dairy farmer uncle died leaving written legal instruction for me to inherit a single gallon of cheese production byproduct. Makes sense, because...

Where there's a will, there's a whey.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreadMoor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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I'm in a bit of legal trouble, I guess I should call -
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Archer3
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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In return for helping him with his legal fees, my neighbor made me a seafood dinner.

You could call it a squid pro quo.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boilerup4444
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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So apparently this is legal in wrestling.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Verb_Noun_Number
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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What's the legal description when a midget is killed?

A gnomicide.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drk311
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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Bearly legal
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rorew
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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Which musical instrument is most likely to take legal action against the others?

The sue-saphone

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doug_The_Plug
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
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I took my daughter to adopt a cat at the shelter. I was surprised we had to sign an itemized legal contract with expected costs. When I told the clerk I thought rescuing a cat would be free...

She told me ”Dad, If you want a cat, you should expect a fee line.” I’m so proud!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarynxm
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
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I need a special pair of spectacles to read legal documents...

Contract lenses.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dens382
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
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I was attending a noisy legal hearing, and the Judge started yelling, β€œOrder! Order in the courtroom!”

So I said, β€œA pastrami on rye, please.”

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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If marijuana was legal everywhere...

"Weed" be very happy. 😊

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beyond-Dreams86
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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I made it a goal to become a legal citizen of Finland and I’m not gonna quit til I’m Finish
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmahler0514
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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I was reading a piece of fan fiction about a girl so beautiful, all the heroes wanted to make her their wife, yet so powerful, no villain dared fighting her. They rather sought legal action against her.

Had to lay it down, I can't stand these marry/sue charakters.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clotting_Agent
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
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I prefer to print my manuscript on "letter" paper than on "legal" size

"A4" effort

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
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This Wednesday, pot is becoming legal here in Canada. For people ranking international travel destinations,

Canada should be high in your list of priorities.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2018
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I went to Cole's this morning to buy cabbage, apparently its a legal requirement for me to also purchase carrots and mayonnaise when purchasing cabbage.

It's Cole's Law.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eng69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2018
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I got arrested for taking notes at a concert. Is that legal?
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imnoteli
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2017
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Bill and his friend Dave both needed to get some legal documents notarized

Bill and his friend Dave both needed to get some legal documents notarized, so they went to the notary together. Bill asked the notary if he could go first because Dave had quite a few items and Bill had one. The notary said, β€œSorry. You sign affidavit.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vienna_Snausage
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2018
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I needed a lawyer, so a friend referred me to his legal counsel. But I'm having a really hard time getting in touch with the guy.

A. Goodman is hard to find.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garbagearmy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
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Did you know it's legal to hunt albino deer?

The law says it's fair game.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clifwith1f
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
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Is it legal to wear snakes on your head?

I'm asking for a friend of mine. Medusanal purposes only.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlexJWhite86
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2016
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The guy from U2 is helping me with a legal case...

He's not charging for his services. It's pro bono.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CJE93
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2016
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Legal monopoly

"Hey, what's the only company that has had a legal monopoly for years?"

"...That's imp-"

"Hasbro."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Robolator
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2017
🚨︎ report
Made a legal dad joke!

I work part time as a court clerk.

So I'm sitting in with the judge and another employee about a citation for a person who had a dog off leash and out of a fenced area cited for "running at large" so I asked "so if it's a small dog are they cited for 'running at small'?"

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DontNeedNoBadges
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2015
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Legal Cake

Uncle: "You know the Bavarian Purity Laws that regulate the ingredients in German beer? In Vienna they have similar laws regulating pastry." Me: "Oh really? Cake laws?" Uncle: "Actually, they call them Torte Laws."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ludwigvanbiteme
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2013
🚨︎ report
"I've never had an accident and I never will," said Tom recklessly. . "And then the man took off his shoes to prove he had 11 toes, and I lost the bet," Tom recounted. . "Yes, I'm starting a legal business," Tom affirmed. . More in /R/TomSwifties reddit.com/r/TomSwifties
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tom_Swiftie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2012
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Dadjoked by a legal opinion

From a trademark case filed by Zatarain's (the jambalaya guys) regarding competitor's "Chicken Fry" and "Fish Fry". Zatarain's lost at the district level and appealed.

"Battered, but not fried, Zatarain's appeals from the adverse judgment on several grounds."

I audibly groaned.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meathappening
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2014
🚨︎ report
If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US,

He will be rolling in his grave.

πŸ‘︎ 19k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
🚨︎ report
If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US, ....

He will be rolling in his grave.

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report

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